Do you feel safe walking alone?

[toomanycushionshere]

I live in a village, fairly close to some lovely walks across fields. But I never use them on my own! I automatically assume that it would be an unsafe thing to do, even though I’ve never encountered anything or anyone untoward.

I’m sure I’m not the only woman who won’t walk in the country / woods etc alone, but I wish I felt braver and wasn’t missing out. Those of you who do, do you just take your chances or do you take precautions (alarm etc)?

I feel very safe in my village, I know most people and strangers are unusual - it's not an exciting place where people would go for a visit!

I'd walk anywhere round here on my own at any time, but it would be pointless (to me) to walk through the fields alone as it's where I walk my dogs.

There isn't woodland near me, but occasionally in the past I thought the dogs might like it. So I drove to the nearest woodlands, and sadly those are the areas where I've had problems. The first time, some little scrote was hanging around beside my car looking very shifty - he was obviously just about to break in to it when I came back. Cheeky little prick didn't even make any attempt to back away when I arrived until he saw the size of my enormous dog! The second time was in a different woodland and I was with my friend, we had 5 dogs with us and a young guy appeared on the path in front of us, pulled his joggers down and started playing with his cock. Yet again my huge dog saved the day, because when he caught sight of the dog he pulled his trousers up and ran away.

For that reason, I don't walk in woods at all now, I like to be able to see all around me. It doesn't bother me though, there are plenty of places to walk here and I prefer to just walk rather than drive first anyway.

I'm interested in (and a bit worried for!) the posters who wear headphones when walking alone, does that not worry you?

I have always been wary of walking alone at night. Also in the day in certain places when I had little dogs. I think it's just common sense. I live in a safe town, but every decade or so there will be an incident where a girl is attacked and we have had one unsolved murder. For the first time in my life I have a large breed dog who I fairly certain will protect me, and it means I can walk anywhere. I have seen her put herself between me and the 'threat' - it's subtle, and I'm so bloody proud of her for doing this. Dogs are just wonderful.

There’s various wooded areas near me, and some I’m completely comfortable in, other not so. The areas where it’s mainly families/friends/couples/dog walkers, I feel completely relaxed. They’re relatively busy when I go, so not isolated. The areas near housing, where there’s random men (often not with dogs) wandering around alone, sometimes looking like they’re drinking etc, I tend to avoid. I know they’re as entitled to walk in a woodland as anyone else, but they make me nervous. When we got a dog, I insisted on a big dog partly for security reasons. I guess I don’t really know if he’d actually be very good at protecting me if necessary, but he can sound fierce and he looks strong and like he could do some damage, so hopefully he would put off a potential attacker.

Yeah I’m a single woman and single parent and live on the edge of an area of outstanding natural beauty. Great walks in woods/across moors/ along rivers and canals either from my house, or starting a short bus ride away. If I didn’t walk by myself, I wouldn’t get to enjoy this beautiful place. I think where we are it’s a very small risk and one worth taking.

So i do walk alone, and I also walk with DS (7). Precautions I take tend to be more around accidents (always take full first aid kit if DS with me for example), but I also always automatically make sure my phone is fully charged and let my DM or exDP know when I’m taking DS on a proper hike, and will usually send them at least a pic on WhatsApp along the way if there’s signal, and message when we’re home.

I also make sure to say hello to people we pass, and always stop for a brief chat if they’re friendly- so people remember me/us. And if I feel weird about anyone (always been a man on the rare occasion it happens) behind me when out walking, I either sit down for a “snack” and let them pass (So far. So good!) … maybe once? I’ve changed course?

i think the risk is vanishingly low, to be honest. But I does sadden me that I realised recently that i automatically “tense” & go into hyper-alert mode when I come across a lone male walker. Men don’t experience this, I suspect, judging by exDPs reaction when we’ve talked about this previously.

I would love to take ds wild camping but think that is too risky, so haven’t. That saddens me too.

During the day? Yes, I’ll happily walk anywhere, but I would always have my dogs with me, including one who is very protective of me. She’s super friendly and very well trained but if I was threatened and I “released” her on command, she would absolutely protect me.
At night, on my own, anywhere? Nope. I’m not small and I’m quite strong but I also know I could be easily over powered by a man.

Yes I do. I always have done. Always walked alone at night, in the day, in woods, fields etc. since I was a teenager. I mean I wouldn't walk in a very dangerous area (deprived inner city area with high rates of muggings, for example) but I've always felt very comfortable walking in the countryside or around town. I know there's a risk but I believe it to be small. I don't know of anyone who's been attacked by a random stranger. The only people I know who've been assaulted were assaulted by someone they knew.
I get a real sense of peace from walking alone and there's no way I'll stop.

I'm perfectly happy walking alone - I go out for an hour most days on my lunch break either at the office (in the countryside) or on WFH days (city suburb). I also run solo and don't mind walking in the dark in the city. I might not venture into the woods in the dark though.

"I'm interested in (and a bit worried for!) the posters who wear headphones when walking alone, does that not worry you?"

This in spades. If I was tempted to walk alone at night, I'd want to have all my senses fully functioning. To disengage my hearing would be a ridiculous thing to do and I'd feel really vulnerable.

I live in the middle of no where.

There are no pavements or street lights. Its all farm land.
(and absolutley beautiful)

I have no concerns at all about going for walks by myself. (I go for a nice walk by myself nearly every day when the days are lighter.) (I have a 4km loop i do daily)

I often go for a run, and when i go for a run i dont even take my phone, as it annoys me.....

The reason i dont go out in the dark is because the roads are narrow, (in many places not wide enough for 2 vehicals to even pass), and people drive like idiots, going far too fast when they can't see what's coming round the bends, so I genuinely worry about getting hit by a car, if they were going too fast and didn't see me.

I have no worries at all about being out, by myself, in the middle of no where.
Just about it being dark and getting hit by a car on the narrow lanes

Only once was I stopped by some strange wierdo (when out for a run)..... who stopped me to ask me "was i was ok?" (I was clearly fine, minding my own buisness) and then asked me "do I need anything?" and I said no, and then he said "do I want anything?" and I just said no and carried on running.
I'm in my 40s, this guy was probably mid 20s

At that point I realised I could be slightly vulnerable as there was nothing / no one / no houses near by, and i didn't even have my phone, but i memorised his number plate etc and called 101 when I got home, just to let them know, and avoided doing my run at that exact time for several days too.

I love going for walks by myself. Its about the ONLY time i ever get to myself!

Always have. From growing up in a small Devonshire village, to driving into Plymouth for nightclubbing, and walking around. To going to 2 unis. And city jobs after. living in lots of lots of different places and living where I live now in Surrey. walking around generally I have never ever felt not safe and I refuse to live a life where I don't feel safe.

I walk home from the pub at 11pm. I've done it my whole life and I'm not about to stop now.

Yes I do feel totally comfortable walking around country walks/fields locally, though not at night.

It's crossed my mind that it's quite vulnerable, but I've been doing it for year and years without having anything untoward happen, so I take my chances.

@ButternutSoup I do a lot of walking with my dog daily, so am prepared to drive to get to good walks. Two of the walks I have done have had women killed as below and are both within 25mins drive of my town. It is also near the area where Sarah Everard's killer lived and I do feel the deprivation in some of the areas has increased the sense of men being angry and drug use in general. I'm sure some posters would feel safe living and walking around here, but maybe because I am out walking for large chunks of every day I feel more exposed.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-66846220#:~:text=Claire%20Knights%2C%2054%2C%20was%20last,with%20murder%2C%20Kent%20Police%20said.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/may/16/julia-james-killing-man-found-guilty-of-bludgeoning-pcso-to-death

Nature bores me to tears, therefore I don't go there (woodlands, fields, etc). I love cities, buildings, concrete, and I'm happy to walk there anytime - day or night, alone or in company.

I was raped twice, both times by men I knew, not strangers. Tallies with stats as far as I know (women are much more likely to be hurt by men they know, not a 'rapist in the bushes').

Not sure "rape stats" are as robust as you seem to think they are.

No. X

I often walk alone in very isolated rural areas. I wouldn't do it at night, even with a torch, but don't have any concerns about doing so in the hours of daylight.

I'm in my 60s now and don't often walk around at night alone these days as when I go out in the evening I usually drive. But when I lived in London, and later when I had moved out but still commuted in, it didn't worry me walking back from the tube/train station alone at night.

I have never had any sort of alarm and don't carry anything to protect myself with (unless you count walking poles). I wouldn't want to wear headphones though as I want to be fully aware of my surroundings.

I don’t feel safe but I do it anyway.

I’m well aware that the riskiest things I’ve done as a woman have been around entering into relationships with men.

No. I don’t live a million miles away from where Lin & Megan Russell were murdered and where Julia James was killed. I know that men have been arrested for those murders but it hit very close to home and, particularly with the Russell murders, we all had it drummed into us that it wasn’t safe to just go wandering, as we always had done.

Has everyone seen that question about whether women would rather meet a bear or a man in the woods that has been going around recently? Most women have answered that they’d rather meet a bear and it’s going viral because some men are outraged that those women would rather take their chances with a wild animal than with them.

in woods and fields then yes, in the average town or city not so much

I live very rural, no street lighting or pavements and yep, I go walking on my own, even at night. Sometimes its nicer at night because no light pollution means the stars are spectacular :)

I have never until this thread even thought about any potential danger from men

My fears are getting injured in an isolated spot and getting help. So my watch has GPS tracking so I can be located if need be. I wear high vis in bad lighting, at night I have a head torch and rear light that clips to my jacket. My phone is always on full charge and if Im mapping on that, I have a battery pack JIC

I never cross a field that has cows

Even when I lived in London Id walk Wimbledon common / Richmond Park alone - never bothered me , actually the only time I encountered a flasher was in the local park in my road. Getting on the bus or tube carried more risk of a sexual assult, sometimes it seemed not a week went past without some bastard copping a feel

I have been attacked by a male stranger while out walking and my mum has been smashed over the head by a man who snatched her bag as she walked by a canal. I’ve also been assaulted by a workman in my home. Coupled with the endless street harassment as a young woman I’m afraid I don’t think it’s ’vanishingly rare’ for men to attack strange women.

That said, now I am older and have moved to a safer area than the one I grew up in, I feel safer and have walked alone in the woods a few times but the fear never fully leaves me and it spoils my experience.

It’s not just death women fear. If you included sexual assault in that figure you’d see it sky rocket.

I'm not molding my life around crimes that still carry shock value around 30 years later.

I'm happier in random, very quiet countryside than in quiet-ish, known places. That said there are some places like that I use because they're useful for joining routes up, and on balance it's safer running off road than on road routes with lots of crossings.

At night I stay to well lit, calm places.

I’m not molding my life around crimes that still carry shock value around 30 years later. 🙄 Fucking hell. A perfect example of someone completely missing the sodding point.

It’s great that you have that attitude. I hope nothing ever happens to make you lose it. However, your fears and concerns are shaped by your experiences and the things you see around you. Are you with me so far?

The Russell murders happened close. Very, very close. All of our parents drummed it into us that walking around in the middle of nowhere was no longer safe and something that we could no longer do without being aware of our surroundings. When you learn this lesson at an early age, it isn’t something that leaves you. And it was compounded by the murder of Julia James, a pcso presumably used to dealing with violent and aggressive men, as well as her dog with her. This is without seeing all of the non fatal attacks on girls and women. The sexual assaults, the intimidation, the verbal harassment, the flashers, the gropers, the men trying to encourage girls and women to get in their cars with them. I can’t remember a week going by where I haven’t heard about something on the local news or on line.

I haven’t picked some random murder and decided that I’m not walking through the woods in case that happens to me. Personal experience has taught me that men, as a group, can be bloody dangerous to women, as well as to other men, in a way that other women don’t tend to be, and that I don’t stand a chance of being able to fight off a man in the way I’d be able to fight off a woman. That has left me with a fear of walking through places where violent men don’t have the fear of being witnessed by passers by to put them off committing a crime. I’d love to go and sit in the woods for a few hours and just listen to the birds. But I wouldn’t enjoy it because I wouldn’t feel safe. So I don’t.

I’m genuinely happy for you that you don’t feel that way and are able to enjoy walking wherever you like without fear. As I said, I hope nothing ever happens to change that. But it is my firmly held opinion that if nothing has ever happened to leave you too afraid to walk alone in a deserted area, it’s because you’ve been lucky. It’s not because you’ve done anything in particular or you’ve given off any air of confidence. It’s luck. So how fucking dare you try and belittle other women’s fears because their experiences have left them with a fear that alters their behaviour? Shame on you.