Do you let your kids watch scary movies ?

[butterflywingss]

Me & DH keep getting in fights because I have told him numerous times I do not want my kids (under 10) watching scary movies that even I as an adult find scary. Another reason is I have strong Christian beliefs and I also believe that movies like that have bad spiritual energy attached and it makes people feel a certain way.

My oldest gets scared of the dark, and can't sleep alone. I am sure some of these have come from being exposed to things kids don't need to be exposed to.

Noted, thanks :)

But it's not a lie at all, no one is hiding rituals being done on stages these days. Anyway, I agree about horror movies and it's totally wrong .

I remember staying at an Aunt's house and my older cousins watching the Village of the Damned and Terminator when I was too young and both stayed with me.

What sort of films are you referring to specifically?
No, a 9 year old shouldn't be exposed to Saw but Harry Potter is largely fine. Hocus Pocus is fine but not the Craft. Goosebumps is fine but not American Horror Story. So it really depends on what you are on about and it depends on the child.

Teen DD still hates Peter Rabbit, but happily watched Scream at a friend's house, I wasn't particularly happy about that as I generally stay within a year or so of the recommended age certification. Woman in black was a big hit both on screan and in the cinema and she had studied it at school first

but nice that you're trying to downplay what I actually mean.

It’s not that I was trying to downplay it - it really was a genuine question, because you were posting odd things about demonic energy but not actually saying what the films were, or what you actually meant. Your follow up posts are also pretty vague on this demonic stuff.

I didn't let my DC watch 'above age' films.

Do they also send subliminal messages in songs to promote devil worship? 🤦🏼‍♀️

www.bbc.com/culture/article/20141003-the-hidden-messages-in-songs

Can you give some examples of the movies your DH wants them to watch so we can get a clearer view? Do the children even want to watch these movies/ask for them or is it all at his suggestion?

As a rule, in this house we go by age rating. Every now and then we might bypass that on a case by case basis if I think DD can handle it (after watching it /reading about it myself).

I haven’t watched “The Black Phone” but I usually find the imdb website parent guide very good and just looked it up.

I agree with you that there is no way in hell he should be watching that around - or is it even with? I think so - primary aged children.

You’re absolutely right to get into arguments with him over - big arguments. Especially if he’s actually sitting down with the kids to watch it.

But honestly, the minute you start waffling around spiritual films (do you just mean anything where the scare is “supernatural” rather than gore / jump / slasher?) and Hollywood rituals and demonic things and “energy”, you lose all your ground and sound silly. Forget all that and tell him straight: this isn’t acceptable, it’s 15 for a reason.

Dragging Christianity into it is never going to help your case to sound like a rational person who is far better at parenting than him.

The demonic thing is bat shit lunacy. But they're still young, so yes it's normal they won't have watched much (if any) horror yet. You'll be unreasonable to continue to censor them as they get older based on your personal, unsubstantiated feelings.

I'm biased though, watching a horror film right now, I love the genre. I do worship satan though, obvs.

Depends on what you mean by scary. I use the certificates as a guide .

mine are 9/10. I let them watch 12As with me around. I wouldn’t let them watch a 15 or obviously an 18.

Some of the films he's tried to watch with her are 'IT' , 'the black phone' these are ones I've seen him try with.. he puts on action and thrillers and suspense. I guess it annoys me because something's kids don't need to watch, especially kids are prone to being quite generally scared

@butterflywingss does he actually want the kids to watch them or they ask to watch(which is bad enough) or is it that the kids are around and he can't be arsed to wait until they're in bed, or doesn't want to watch child friendly films so he pulls the "it's fiiine " card?

The first one is ignorance, the second one is putting his own gratification ahead of the children's wellbeing.

It's time to put Christianity and the other bullshit to the side. It's not a rational argument, and it can be hypocritical if you approve of Harry Potter for example. You need to stick to age ratings, recommendations from sites like common sense media or even IMDB and the children's wellbeing. Facts ,laws and regulations, not feelings and irrational fears.

It depends on the child. I used to love Poltergeist from about 9 or 10 but Alien terrified me. I still hate it now!

I'd let them watch stuff like Scream, The Ring, Gothika etc but probably not things like The Exorcist, Annabel where it has a really sinister feel that may end up in nightmares and refusal to turn the lights off.

I agree with the PP who said it depends on the disposition of the child. There are many adults who dislike horror and therefore age is somewhat irrelevant in that being older hasn't made them less scared or affected by horror films.

I have loved horror films/scary films all my life; as a child I begged to watch them and once I was finally able to, there was no turning back - I loved them and have never once had a nightmare off the back of a film.

Some children will enjoy the genre and not be bothered. Others will hate it and have nightmares. I'm certainly not advocating letting a 10y/o watch SAW etc... but at the same time, I often see parents reference what they deem to be a "scary film" and I'm thinking "since when is that scary?" - there is a lot of subjectivity about what is or isn't a scary film.

The spiritual side you reference is YOUR thing - it's your perception of such films, but it doesn't make it fact. People having nightmares after watching a scary film is based on again, their disposition and how they internalise such material. It doesn't mean some spirit or demon has jumped out of the screen and is now doing something to the person. If that were the case I'd have a demon for a housemate watching the films with me and supplying the popcorn!

You, of course, have the right to believe what you want, but attempting to impose those beliefs on others - including your children - is no less damaging than a child watching a scary film - in fact, probably more so. At least with a film they can switch it off knowing it was fiction and return to playing a game or watching something lighter.

My view is, if a child has a genuine interest in scary films, then there is no harm in letting them explore that interest in a sensible way (ie. gradually, with supervision etc).

They wouldn't ask to watch but it's more him putting them on because he wants to watch. I've made it clear I don't want them watching horror movies for example The black phone which is what the argument was over. This was the second time he tried and he tried because he thought I was sleeping. When I say spiritual films, I mean demonic paranormal kinds of things I don't know like conjuring, which he said put on to watch but I avoid films like that at all costs. The black phone traumatised me tbh for many reasons because it's super messed up.

Mine definitely don't like horror and I also hate watching them because it honestly affects me. My DH has argued with me before because I don't want to watch them but it's a personal choice for me because they leave me a grown adult really scared after, now imagine a child who does not beg to watch these films.

@butterflywingss I would readdress this issue like I said before, calmly and rationally with fact. Like the fact that the black phone is rater R in the US . Common sense media advises 16 +. In the UK, it's 15+. Your kids are under 10!

Basically, if he wants to watch stuff that's fine, he has to wait though until the kids are asleep, or away at school, on a sleepover,playdate etc.

His want to watch these kind if movies does not trump your kids' wellbeing.

Stop mentioning your religion and beliefs, as they only confuse the issue and also minimises the seriousness of his actions. I'm not trying to be rude(though I realise I am), but worrying for your kids' soul because of watching a movie will never gain much traction or be taken seriously.

I used to watch Scream and I Know What you did last summer on repeat. Had them for on VHS, was probably 11/12 years old. No harm done.

I have addressed it but it seems to go in one ear and out the other.

I am also not looking for people's approval on my beliefs because that will never change and as I mentioned not everyone will get it. However, that is besides the point I am making. My concern is my kids tend to be quite scared and movies like that do not help. I have explained to him that those movies are not for kids and it can be traumatising. If youve watched the black phone, I find t very traumatising. The story behind basically a pedo who kidnaps children and locks them up in his basement to torture them If they try and escape. Real life stories like that terrifying me so it feels very wrong for kids to watch that.

It's not the spiritual energy of a film, it's the scary storyline, jump shocks, gore and horror.

Then you have a DH issue, where his wants are more important than his kids' needs. I wonder if it's limited just to films.

Yanbu they should not be watching 15 films. I’d let a 12/13 year old watch a 15 on occasion, but not an under 10

As many posters have said, even adults have very different emotional responses to films. I generally love psychological thrillers as long as they’re not too violent, but hate anything gory, or supernatural, and even in the genre I do like- sometimes they veer towards being a little too creepy, and I have to stop watching. Get it right (for me), and I prefer that type of film to any other, but get it wrong and it will give me nightmares. But I’m an adult and can make those choices.

There will absolutely be kids that are much more able to cope/enjoy films that are a little on the scary side, but many kids can’t (my DD loves being scared by films- only age appropriate ones, but I know plenty of kids that find even mild peril too much. She has begged me to watch scarier films, but she has no idea what’s out there really, and I am firm on the line that there is absolutely no harm in waiting a few years for some of these films, no one says as an adult ‘You were SO mean not letting me watch Saw at the age of 12!’

I think you have to err on the side of caution with kids. Having looked up the Black Phone one- I’m amazed there’s any debate about showing this to an under 10, the same with ‘It’- both wildly inappropriate, bordering on abusive for kids of that age.

My DC constantly tell me they were traumatised after they watched Ghost and Titanic at my attempt to show them classic films

DS was traumatised by the sharks in Finding Nemo

Christian bad spiritual feelings nonsense aside

No I don't think you should ever show your DC scary movies

Let them discover them themselves when their older with friends

After reading your updates then your h is being unreasonable. It sounds like he wants to watch a scary movie rather than share a scary movie with them.

My primary school aged kids loved scary - Scooby Doo when they just started school right through to Dr Who when they were upper primary. (Dr Who is written for an over 8 audience although I think that some episodes are scarier)

Sometimes unexpected movies can scare kids. One of my kids was never scared by 12a action films with some peril but found Monsters Inc scary because of the idea of monsters having a portal to kids bedrooms.