School Transgender advice

[TealKoala]

New to posting so, please forgive me if I get any protocols wrong. We have read previous posts about transgender and changing rooms but this is a different scenario.

I wanted to ask your advice about a situation we are currently facing.

Our AD (straight girl) was violently attacked in the PE changing rooms this week, we have seen a video and it was really aggressive. There was not a teacher in the room whilst this was happening.

School called me fairly quickly to say she had been hit and they would investigate and get back to me. It took until 6pm the next day to get a call (after me chasing). I had raised the obvious safeguarding of no teacher present and a pupil videoing.

Later that evening I found out that the girl that attacked our daughter was in fact transgender and born a boy. We have every empathy for this girl's situation and respect her life choices, to a certain degree I can understand that in an effort to not draw attention to her being different she is changing in the main changing room and not a separate changing room.

I have written back to the school asking about safeguarding with this new information and again not received a response. Our question is how do we proceed?

We really don't want to make a difficult situation more complicated or draw attention to this girl as so far she appears to be getting through school with minimum disruption.

However, when we saw the video of the attack something didn't feel right, (especially as we were told this is the first time anything like this had happened) the anger and aggression and the force of the punches were something else. It now makes more sense, as it was a boy doing the attacking. Our daughter was trying to talk to her to sort a misunderstanding and did not fight back in anyway.

The aggressor has been suspended for a few days. We want to ensure that this doesn't happen again but don't know how to proceed. No violence is acceptable but if this were a boy on girl attack or say a husband on wife attack this would be absolutely unacceptable and the punishment more severe.

What would you do? Any advice gratefully received.

If a boy attacked my daughter, I'd be ringing the police. I don't care what sob story he has to tell. I'd also look to suing the school.

As a teacher I say report it to the police. An SLT that allows males in the female changing room is failing in every way. Id also report to Ofsted as a safeguarding concern. There is clear guidance that facilities should be single sex.

I would report this to the police, from the way you describe it, it was a violent attack and I wouldn’t trust the school to deal with it properly.

I can understand that in an effort to not draw attention to her being different she is changing in the main changing room and not a separate changing room.

I don’t know why you are being so understanding about this. There is no place for boys in girls changing rooms. In my child’s school, trans kids are provided with an alternative place to change if they aren’t comfortable in the changing room for their sex, but they do not get to use the opposite sex changing room.

Thank you I will look into it, appreciate your time in responding to me.

Bloody hell your poor daughter, I’d be calling the non emergency police. Hugs for you both.

I'm afraid I haven't rtft but the trans girl shouldn't be getting changed in the girls changing room. The school will have disabled toilets, which are gender neutral, and she should be using those to get changed. I am sorry this has happened to your daughter.

They definitely won't be made to use the male changing room.

@TealKoala, no worries. Any risk assessments need to be iron-clad, and I just find it baffling that this arrangement has been 'waved through'. I'm prepared to eat my hat if this hasn't arisen because the Head of PE has perhaps gone rogue and made a unilateral decision, without the involvement of other relevant parties. There's going to be safeguarding shower at your DD's school...

Our sixth form's written policy (I've just checked) is that the transgender student can choose to use the changing room of their gender.

The girls have been deemed not to matter in this.

Just to clarify, risk assessments and policy should also reflect risk to the trans identified boy to protect him from the possibility of getting in to problematic situations, especially as there is limited supervision in changing rooms, as well as preserving the safety and dignity of girls. If your DDs' school already has a problem with the use of mobile devices and filming in the changing rooms (although rather fortuitous in this case) there is much work to be done.

I personally think that's unreasonable. Do they still do PE in 6th form? (I never made it to 6th form.) I'm mum of a trans girl and I 100% wouldn't expect her to be allowed to use the girls changing room.

Or at least a separate space where there are no girls.

First of all, your daughter wasn't attacked by a girl so I'm not sure why you keep saying "she".

Secondly I don't understand why you're not furious. You need to report both the assault and the videoing to the police.

No- the disabled toilets are for disabled people to go to the toilet, not for non disabled people to get changed in.

The school will have to put themselves out to find a third space for trans students if they are going to be gender confirming- not just inconvenience and remove a vital space from disabled students.

PE isn’t mandatory in sixth form but some do offer sports/fitness sessions for students. And obviously there’s A level PE. 🤷🏻‍♀️

LADO’s role is about adults posing a risk to children, not to get involved in pupil on pupil incidents so probably not a useful route for OP.

There should however be a safeguarding in education or similar role within the local authority.

However I agree with PP - police and also report to Ofsted (Ofsted can ask the local authority to investigate).

I hope your DD is okay.

Agree with report to Police and Ofsted. And make it crystal clear this was a male pupil.

He had no place being in the girls changing room...this madness has to stop.

The filming on the phone is another issue and it's yet more proof that smartphones are simply not appropriate for children/young teens.

100% police. Your daughter has been assaulted, it should be reported.

Then you need to get on to the school about their safeguarding failures by allowing a boy in the girls changing rooms.

I'm so sick of males and their fucking mental conditions affecting women and girls.

Your DD was attacked my a male. Your post comes across as trying to minimise what HE did.
Don't.
Protect your daughter, not the male perpetrator .
Get police involved now

Please don't get me wrong, I am 1000% furious and i want to ensure this isn't allowed to happen again, hence why I asked the question.

Protect your daughter. Report the assault to the police. Stop tiptoeing round the other childs feelings. Your daughter was violently attacked - that's where your focus should be.

Police, without a doubt. This is a criminal offence and the school are way out of their depth.

Why haven't the school called in the police and social services? Your daughter needs supporting and social services need to be looking into this other child's circumstances. What would happen if the school got hold of a video of an incident like this happening in a child's home god forbid? A telling off for the parent then back to happy families - I think not.

Report it to the police. This is assault and you have the evidence. I'm not sure why you are being so understanding towards a boy who attacked your daughter.

I would be an absolutely fuming about (A) my daughter being attacked by a boy and (B) a boy being in the girls changing rooms. Massive safeguarding issues. I would have absolutely no sympathy whatsoever and take it all the way. 100% go to the police, your daughter could have been seriously hurt.