Son and boyfriend with the same name...

[Bluetoe]

Is boyfriend the right word when you're in your 50s?

Anyway I'm tentatively seeing a man who has the same first name as DS2. DS2 is a young adult and lives with me.

Already I find myself saying "my son Fred" or "my friend Fred" when I talk about them and it feels weird, but if this relationship develops it will get weirder on all fronts.

Or will it?

The name is actually often shortened, but both have been very firm in their desire to be called by the full name (by everyone, not just me).

In lots of situations, people share a name. Think of classrooms, waiting rooms, offices etc. Even traditionally in many families people would name their child after themselves (and they were named after their own parents).

It’s fine.

I share the same name as my husbands ex wife AND his sister in law!

Not much I can do about it.. it is what it is.

Unless you are looking for a reason to end the relationship..

Yes of course, it's not an uncommon name, these men come across lots of people who share their name, but two close/intimate but very different realtionships?

I have the same name as SIL, we married brothers so both now Jane Smith or whatever, you'll find that people find their own way of distinguishing, never been a problem here in 25 years.

Maybe just refer to them as your son and your boyfriend?

I think actually it will get less weird as time goes on.
And, I do mean this kindly, but I think the weirdness is in your head - meaning that it's really odd and strange for you to have both your son and a partner with the same name because they occupy different spaces in your thoughts and now they are joined by a name, but it won't be weird for anyone else and nobody else will probably give it a second thought.

Maybe that's why it feels weird. I can't use the word boyfriend 🤣

My DH was named after his father.
MIL divorced and remarried another man with the same (very common) first name.
DH's sister also has the female version of their father's name...
The only time there is ever any eyebrows raised is when I'm trying to tell a story to someone who doesn't know the family and they get lost in the conversation so I just use DH, SIL, MIL and MIL's husband.