Wait..what? ADHD assessment...

[pastapesto]

I had an assessment appointment with psychiatry last week. Answered a bunch of questions about my childhood, they were thinking EMDR would be useful. Also filled in some paper questionnaires. They called the other day to say they think I should have further assessment for ADHD. This was very unexpected!! Don't know what to make of it. And the waiting list is long. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it.

Was this private or NHS?

NHS

I suspect lots of adults have clinically significant levels of hyperactivity/inattention. Basically, ADHD can be hyperactive or inattentive; you might also have combined type. You’ll also be told if it’s mild/moderate/severe, and possibly meds will be discussed.

How are you feeling about it?

At the moment surprised! It really wasn't on my radar. Don't know what to make of it. My first response is I no, I don't think so but to be honest I don't know much about it beyond a kind of perception of fidgety kids in school. Don't think I fidget. I am disorganised, struggle to process paperwork type tasks, lose things all the time, have highs and lows (which was why I went to the Dr - fed up of being either very up or very down). Just a bit baffled at the moment!!

Look up presentation of ADHD in adult women, OP. We don't fit the stereotypes; e.g., I am chaos incarnate in my daily life, but I'm amazing at my job. I deal with huge highs and lows in my emotional state because of RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria). Knowing that's the reason for it helps me to cope.

How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (additudemag.com)

Why not go one the list, it will be at least a couple of years before anything happens, during which time you can research and get your head round it. If by then, you still feel you don't fit the criteria, you can always pull out and they'll just give your appointment to the next person.

I work in mental health op and your description of you fits with an adult adhd presentation very well. I suspects it's much more common t than we currently know, we see it a lot in mental health services. Medication can help as can understanding it take a read about it in the internet maybe? It might make a lot of sense to you. 😁

You are kind of describing ADHD lots of women go under the radar due to the historic impression it was for naughty boys.

I am sure you have tried and tried to be more organised but nothing works!

Similarly there is no strategy on this planet that will get my DH to meet a deadline. He would really really like to but his brain says no.

I think this is what helped me.
Knowing it's not just me "being crap" but recognising that my brain is wired in a different way...

I have never heard of RSD. But this is what it is like, I get awful lows, with suicidal thoughts, then I am almost manic or I have to do very intense things - over exercising, signing up for courses I don't have time to do, I buy a lot of books I don't have time to read or over commit myself until I can't cope anymore and I crash again. I have had therapy and just ended up feeling I was unfixable. And so all over the place it's embarrassing at times. I just thought I wasn't adulting very well. This is kind of blowing my mind a bit. I have just felt chronically ashamed of who I am for so very long.

Some types of therapy aren’t suitable for neurodivergent women, specifically CBT. Look into DBT, which is much more ND-friendly.

Following with interest OP, getting assessed soon.

Have you been waiting long?

@pastapesto Just over two years

Oh that’s quite a wait. Bit of a thought to not be sure for all that time.

DD took DGS to discuss him having ADHD and the doctor told her to take away some forms to complete as she was presenting ADHD behaviour too. He asked if we hadn't noticed anything when she was small. DS,2 was considered for hyperactivity, now ADHD but said he wasn't because he slept well. DD has similar behaviours to me, hyper focus, inattention, not finishing tasks etc

@pastapesto i could have went private for diagnosis but doctor said they don’t accept shared care afterwards so thought I would wait. Another 8 weeks max to wait(apparently)

Ah, well private is kind of expensive anyway. 8 weeks - nearly there!

I had no idea it could present so differently in women and girls. I knew that about ASD. I’ve just never considered it before. Just thought I was scattered/kind of dysfunctional/highly strung. I’ve had lots of therapy but none of it worked and therapists get frustrated with me. As do I!

@pastapesto Either did I. Until I stumbled on a post on this when looking for advice on RSD. I was floored at this was now a possibility. I am near certain I have it and will be shocked if I don’t. To think I someday could lead a normal life excites me in a way. I’ve had years of therapy and nothing helped either. I thought I was beyond help. Hope now I’m not

I would love to hear how it goes.