Surely I am not the only woman who would chose the man, not the bear?

[Idpicktheman]

You know that, would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods thing?

I would choose the man.

I've hiked in the Rockies where there are bears. If you come across a bear, you have surprised and startled it. All the stories I heard of people being attacked in the Rockies were of people who have surprised bears with their appearance. I blew a whistle every couple of minutes when I hiked to make sure a bear was not surprised by my appearance. Therefore I think if I met a bear in the woods, there is a good likelihood it would attack me.

I also walk in the woods a lot in the UK as I live in a semi-rural area. I regularly come across men and they either ignore me or say hello as they pass and carry on walking their dog/ cycling/ or mountain biking.

So whilst there is a chance a man would attack me, I think the probability is that they would not.

But whilst there is a chance the bear would amble off and leave me alone, the probability is that it would attack me.

So I would chose the man.

( I realise the point of this though experiment is to show that women think this through, because both can be dangerous to them, whereas men instantly say' well, I'd chose the woman obviously' because women are not a danger to them : but I have seen a lot of women instantly saying ' the bear!' but, being literalistic about the actual answer, in all honestly, the bear is more likely to attack you than the man.)

It’s not another member of the human race, it’s a male member of the human race.

Yep, I know

Yes, this shows that men do understand what it’s like to be a woman.

I had always assumed they didn’t. But actually they do, or at least more than I thought. And they do know what men are like.

I actually find that quite disturbing.

Men really don't. A very very small percentage do. The only violent attacks i have every had have been from women. And thats a tiny percentage too.

Generalising and paranoia is not helpful. I would hate to walk around in fear. Why give it headspace

A third of male university students surveyed in the US would rape a woman if there were no consequences.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/a-third-of-male-university-students-say-they-would-rape-a-woman-if-there-no-were-no-consequences-9978052.html

There are less than 40 bear attacks a year worldwide. Nearly 89,000 women worldwide were intentionally killed in 2022. The vast, vast majority by men.

Id take my chances with the bear.

I don't walk around in fear

When I said "men attack for no reason" I meant that some men, who are capable of rational thought, choose to attack women just because they can, whereas bears attack because they're wild animals and have no sense of self-control because they're not wired like that.

Yes, both are scary and with awful consequences, but the intentions are different and that's kind of the point people are trying to make here.

Because men are bigger and stronger, so our ability to fight back is less than a male victim's.

Because women are uniquely vulnerable to vaginal rape and subsequent forced pregnancy.

There are around 39 brown bear attacks globally each year. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44341-w

300 boy-on-girl rapes are reported to the police as having taken on school premises each year in England and Wales alone. The global rape rate is uncountably high. The lifetime rape victimisation rate amongst British women is around 5%. For some of those victims, like Sarah Everard, their rape immediately preceded the rapist murdering them.

Around 6% of men will admit to acts that meet the criminal definition of rape as long as you don't use the word "rape" to describe it.

I'd choose the bear.

6% will. That's not a "very very small percentage".

A third.

WTF I'm never dating a man again.

I have to say I'd be team 'man' because my personal experiences have been very positive, but totally appreciate it's not the same for everyone. My chances of survival might be better with another human being and the vast majority of them seem to be decent. But again, not dunking on anyone who'd rather have the bear and a lot of men need to roll their necks in about this one.

I run in the woods (or out in very rural places on my own) nearly every day. I must see roughly 25 - 30 men in the woods / hills every week. I do tend to be far more alert than if it was a woman and check they’re not following me. But I’d be rather on edge if I met than many bears every week…

Assault is obviously awful in any circumstance but aren’t the statistics that most men who harm women know them? Or have met them on a night out? Rather than simply walking past them in the woods? Or course there are horrific cases where strangers assault women but that’s the figure statistically we should be comparing it to?

What is the percentage of men who go for a walk / run / hide in the woods who attack women? The idea that they’re all predators is crazy.

If there were the same number as bears in the woods as men who walk / run in them, we’d see higher numbers of bear attacks (and I definitely wouldn’t run alone in the woods)

I don’t run in the woods in the middle of the night as it’s dark and I’m asleep. However I do regularly run at night in the winter - not in the woods though as it would be too dark and I’d trip on a tree root and probably be statistically more likely to die than from a random attack by either man or bear.

Absolutely agree though that I wouldn’t think twice if woman or bear. And my reaction to seeing a lone woman is different to a lone man.

Assault is obviously awful in any circumstance but aren’t the statistics that most men who harm women know them? Or have met them on a night out? Rather than simply walking past them in the woods? Or course there are horrific cases where strangers assault women but that’s the figure statistically we should be comparing it to

The thought experiment is that you don't know anything about the man or bear you may experience. You don't know if he's a good guy or a bad guy; a rapist murderer or a gentleman with Google maps. You're just being asked to choose, man or bear.

Is the man totally a random man out of all of them transported into the woods or your average guy just out minding his own business in the woods as usual? As the average man I meet in the woods is polite, smiles and says hello and we might comment on the weather (if both of us are going slowly enough … otherwise it’s a nod in solidarity). Woodland experiences may obviously differ between woods.

That's the point, you don't know which man. The question is man or bear, not "nice man vs aggressive polar bear" or "panda vs convicted rapist".

Man or bear. In an ideal world the answer should always be man, but it's not.

I can understand why some men are upset by it, all the good men who would just want to help being tarred with the same predatory brush knowing their intentions are good.

Those "good" men are making it about themselves. It's the same as the men who are indignant or insulted when women cross the street when the men are walking behind them. They don't actually give a shit about male behaviour and its consequences for women, and the fear they as a class have created in us as a class. No, it's all about their precious egos. Why, you women, you're supposed to be mind-readers and know that I am one of those Good Men! How very dare you to be wary of me, a strange man in the woods!

I always find that so telling. Years ago I was going to visit a city near where this guy I met online lived. I hadn’t met him yet but when he suggested he might come to this city too, I was like okay cool because I assumed he’d travel from his own place each day I was there or find his own accommodation in that city I was visiting.

Just in case though, I clarified it with him that he wouldn’t be sleeping in my hotel room.

So it turned out that he had thought he was sharing my hotel room and he pretended to be so aghast and accused me of insinuating he was a rapist. He really tried to turn himself into the victim, because
I told him it would be unsafe and unwise from me to do this 😵‍💫 especially when he said he’d organise and pay for the hotel room (even worse because then I couldn’t kick him out if things went left ) Then he tried to ridicule me for being prudish and over-cautious for wanting to organise and pay for my own separate hotel room.

He had no respect or concern for my feeling of safety or wellbeing.

I just calmly said to him - if your sister or female cousin was meeting a man in a hotel room for the first time would you be happy about it? He totally evaded the question both times I asked him! I just blocked him at that point.

Men understand the danger when it comes to their sister, daughter, mum etc they just play dumb when it suits them.

I don’t think the choice is the point, it’s that moment of hesitation whilst you weigh it up. It’s led you to make a (extremely tone deaf) post on which you weigh up being (hypothetically) raped against being mauled to death.

Ask a man the same question about bears and women, and there’s no hesitation. No weighing up. No reason to think they’ll come
to harm from a woman.

And before people start saying women can hurt men and give examples, of course women can hurt men but it is rare and won't be something on a man's radar for most men.

Yes, these ‘good men’ aren’t good enough to stop to think or care why women are so cautious of men. They are only thinking about their feelings.

Good men aren’t like that. Good men want other men to change so that women aren’t cautious of all men.

I suppose meeting a self confessed "good man" in the woods would reduce the immediate threat of attack because he would try to talk you into having sex with him for a very long time before finally snapping when you didn't agree...

I'm surprised by myself reading some replies that I actually can't recognise women saying they've "never felt threatened" by a man. I genuinely cannot compute this and my logical brain says these posters must be men. Even my daughters who have not been attacked by men see the way they stare at them and note the men hanging about the school gates, dads in cars ogling the girls coming out in uniform...

I've been threatened bullied, harassed, abused by boys/men.

But I wouldn't assume some man helping me find my way would immediately want sex and try and talk me into having sex.

How often is this happening to you?

I didn't say anything about them "helping me find my way" - how very condescending - I said if the man you were in the woods with was a "self confessed good man".

Every woman knows these types. It's all surface and little depth. A veneer of nice for their public image. These are the ones who think they are nice because they don't immediately rape you, for example.

It is frankly disrespectful how you try to devalue other posters’ opinions just because they don’t align with yours.
I can understand why women need to be wary of men in certain situations but your posts sound almost paranoid and I feel sorry to think that you are instilling this fear of men in your daughters.
Your comment about “good men” is quite telling.

You're showing your maleness by not understanding "self confessed good man" is not the same as an actual good man.

I'm admitting I can't understand how a woman can say she has never feared a man. I am being honest about my children's concerns they themselves, not me, have noted about men around just their school. If my kids can see it I can't understand grown women who seem to be oblivious. I am not trying to convince anyone, unlike you.