I don't like to sit next to brown people

[newnamesash]

DD in year 1 said that during lunchtime, one of her friends (white British) told her "I don't like to sit next to brown people, but I like to sit next to you." I can't help but wonder what/who makes a 5 year old think like this.
DD's school is quite multicultural and embraces diversity, beliefs, and people from different countries and cultural backgrounds.

I also don't think this is true. We have neighbours with darker skin (not sure of their heritage) whose children go to the DCs' school. There are a few other non-white families at the school, but not many.

My DC about a year ago (age 6) said that she "didn't like brown skin as much as white skin" which came out of nowhere. Neither me nor DH have ever commented on the colour of people's skin before. So she must have just picked up on there being a difference, but probably had no more meaning than thinking it was like preferring different colours over others 🤷‍♀️

I read a study that suggested parents not talking about race y too young children - )usually because the parents were well meaning and wanted to normalise diversity) led those kids to fill in the blanks and they often picked up things in a way that made sense from their experience but it often wasn’t appropriate or socially acceptable.

Well as a mixed race person who can “pass” for white especially to the people most likely to be the people im about to describe im here to tell you that racism or at the very least bias or ignorance in our country is rife.

it's changed from years ago when certain people would be outright racist or use terms like p or c or n* in normal language although that occasionally still happens but iv been in countless situations where people or groups have thought they were in a white only environment (not realising I am in fact mixed race) where things have been said that they would definitely think twice about if they thought someone of a different race or colour could hear.
we are living in an age where people are saying they don’t think there’s much racism now and I don’t understand it, because that’s definitely not my or friends from different cultures or heritage’s experiences when we’ve talked about it.

iv also been in situations where we as a family have been seriously racially abused but that’s not for this thread.

im definitely not saying all people are ignorant or racist but it’s definitely common enough that I agree with posters saying the same. It’s not just a few sets of parents teaching a few children to think like them.
it’s like osmosis for children growing up and quite often they won’t even know where they’ve picked it up from.

to all the posters who’s little ones are feeling less than I’m really sorry. I wish things were different for them. It’s not fair and things should be better now!

my sibling who has darker skin than me felt like that too, even today they say they have have a particular European country heritage instead because they think they get more acceptance and less hassle that way. I don’t think my sibling should feel that way but I get away with looking like I belong so don’t have to feel like I have to have a backstory to fit in and don’t get questioned nearly as much (still get the odd bit) as them so it’s not my place to have an opinion on it!

Ah, didn't take long for the obligatory "Indian kids smell like curry" post to come along. It's funny how there's always a "child" who says that on this sort of thread.

@Ginkypig Thank you for your thoughtful post and I agree that people seem to think racism doesn't exist if they don't see overtly racist behaviour. It's a really unhelpful narrative because we can't tackle racism until we really accept that we are all socially conditioned to see white people as superior. The people who claim they don't see colour are not being honest or are not engaging on a deeper level with the impact of living in a country where structural racism is deeply embedded.

@Ginkypig thanks for your post. One of my mother's friends grew up in Apartheid South Africa. It was particularly difficult in mixed families, where some sibblings 'turned out' to be much darker or have much more frizzy hair. The lighter one with straight hair and more European nose and lips- had a totally different experience from the darker ones.

Please read Trevor Noah's 'Born a Crime'.