Anyone wish they could go back to the toddler years

[Underwatersally]

Just curious, I have two children who are 9 and 11 years old so not that old at all really and we do loads together.

But recently (triggered by a trip to a toy shop where they had almost outgrown everything except crafts) I've been thinking about and missing the toddler and younger child stage.

I had anxiety and a marriage breakdown during the time they were young and even though we still had a lovely time and did days out and things at home like baking and crafts, I was also ridiculously anxious and worried about finances and making ends meet.

I had to work loads to get on a course which led to the place i am now where I am earning a decent wage and can enjoy the moment a bit more rather than have the constant fear of being one payday away from homelessness and the constant struggle and stress between online university, working full time, awful anxiety and trying to still have quality time with the children.

When I look back now on pictures of them from being around 4-7 years old I'd give anything just to be back in that moment and just appreciate it rather than be stressed all the time. i want to just rewind time and pause it for a while and enjoy the moments.

I know I can still do things with them now and I do lots with them but I think I'm aware that we are getting towards the end of make believe and magic I just wish I'd savoured it all more.

I know this probably sounds really depressing and like I need counselling 🙈 i dont think i do I'm just pondering rather than distressed about it but I was wondering if all parents go through this as their children get older? That longing to just do it again but to not stress about the stupid stuff or am I being completely dramatic and OTT, triggered by a trip to bloody Smyths toy store.

I miss them as babies and the toddler years too. How they fitted on your lap with their head perfectly fitting under your chin.

Mine are now proper grown ups. No sign of grandchildren.

It goes by so, so fast.

Mine are teens I would quite happily go back to years between 5 and 10. I can't look at photos of them at that age without feeling emotional

Mine are in their 20s now. Yes I would love to go back to being the most important person in their life

My own toddler years, perhaps 😁

I think a lot of people feel this way, if they have been through a traumatic time or not. Mine are 6 and 7 and there are times I get really sad about them getting older. My friend has teenagers and the stories I hear from her really scare me and I'm not looking forward to that stage at all.

😁 yeah good point I remember that fondly too.

Sounds like it's something all parents go though, I keep thinking of the office quote 'I wish there was some way to know you were in the good old days when you're actually in them' (or something along those lines)

I missed the mid teen years as my parent was very ill (subsequently died, bless their heart, not saying this for sympathy, just explaining) and I was immersed in caring for that parent. I wouldn't mind having another stab at those years again, too. My DH stepped up and was both Mum and Dad for a time, iyswim.

Yes, I can't look at photos of them from when they were younger, it makes me too sad. Particularly for DS(9), I'd love to go back to when he was a toddler. DD(6) is still cute and cuddly and wants to spend all her time with me.

(can we have a group hug please)

Yes, mine are 14-19 now and I really wish I could go back to when they were little. I miss the fun times, the togetherness.
They were busy times and I was exhausted most of it but I miss it now.

I was sad when my DS grew up and hit adulthood,,,so I went back and did it all again with 2 more dcs after a 17 year age gap! I loved the toddler/primary school years with DS but I had struggles during that time. With my younger dcs I really live in the moment, prioritise family time and I'm aware how quickly it all passes. Luckily I'm in a much more financially secure situation now and have more time and resources for them (I had lots of time with DS but less resources).

I spent my whole counselling session today crying about this very thing (mine are all adults now).

The other day, I found a video of them when they were small and they were just so special, lovely and cute, I felt heartbroken that it's all passed by.

Yes! I feel like we all need this.

'big hug'

I was looking at some photos and videos tonight which triggered my post.

It's weird when they were little I looked forward to each new stage such as when they walking, being able to sit on a swing and go to the park, climb stairs, learn to read write and talk.
At the time it felt like it took ages to get to each new stage and now it feels like they're rushing to each new stage. I guess that's the 'joy' of aging and gaining a new perspective on things

@Underwatersally
Yes, I really struggled as a single parent when mine were small. I loved them immensely but also found it very tough working and looking after 5 children alone.

Yours are still youngish and it's still special... but you don't always see it fully until it's gone. 🥹

I would give anything to have those days back again. Even more so because one of my DC has died.
It is tough and very hard work when they are little, especially if you are struggling financially and holding down a job at the same time. but it is really important to treasure the moments because they pass so quickly.

endoftheline I am so sorry.