How to care less about other’s opinions

[Cat2024]

This is a big one for me that has reoccurred so many times in my life I am getting a bit bored of it!!
Mostly my perception of myself and my mental health is pretty good, ups and downs like the majority of us. But despite being in my 40s now, I still get really thrown if I perceive that people are rude or dismissive or if they misunderstand what I am saying and get upset or angry.

i try to go by the following principles:

1. Avoid taking things personally. The majority of other people’s behaviour is not a reflection of ourselves but is to do with the other person.
2. Don’t make assumptions about others or judge them ‘until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

i s’pose it’s just part of life but my question is how much to simply ignore and what to be assertive about?

Thanks for reading!

not answering the question strictly speaking but there looks to be a good assertiveness courses offered by Australian health system.
https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Assertiveness

I would consider assertiveness and caring little about what others think to not mean exactly the same thing though

This is me! I definitely care what others think - way too much so. I know it and want to know how to stop. It's really bad for my mental (& physical) health.

Just had a quick look at this before work, it looks like it might be really useful. I actually applied for an assertiveness course through work but they can’t fund it right now due to budget cuts so thanks. 😊

Your age suggests you are or soon to be in peri menopause, and trust me, when that oestrogen goes, you won't give a tit about people and their stinking opinions. In future, you may be posting about how to be more polite! Enjoy😁

Well I think it's hard to just stop caring. You care because we are social creatures and we want acceptance from our communities and other people around us. It makes sense that you care, so don't beat yourself up about it.

I have found the best way to minimise it is just to work on yourself and feeling genuinely comfortable in yourself and who you are/ what you are doing.

Again, that's not easy and can take years especially for people who are a bit introverted or don't have much confidence. But if you are truly confident in yourself, then other people's opinions won't carry as much weight, because you will not believe/ agree with them so easily.

Therapy is a good place to start if you're struggling.

I'm early 40s - looking forward to this!! 🤣

I've found this too. I'm 52 and post meno. It's probably how men are at all ages.