WWYD? Moving out of parents home

[Tillybud81]

So background, I broke up with LTP partner about a year ago now and I've been living with my mum since. She's great, we do get on fine and I have my own bit of space but it's just feeling increasingly difficult to not have my own space and to work to my own rules. Also at 42 I'm just not supposed to be living with my mum any more.

Trouble is, due to a few reasons, I'm unable to buy my own place for at least another 6 months. I also feel guilty for possibly leaving mum (she'd be on her own) and renting somewhere. It kinda says I can't stand living with you so much I'd rather financially burden myself 😞

Now questions is do I sort myself out renting somewhere for a little while until I can buy or do I suck it up and buy as soon as I can? WWYD?

Please be kind

Suck it up and buy instead of renting

Move ASAP, for everyone's sake.
What us wrong with your mum living on her own? She might love the freedom to do her own thing - I would. So absolutely no need to feel any guilt.

I would stay at my mums if she was happy to have me!

I wouldn't fancy complicating a house purchase by having to give notice at a rental / move out twice in a year or similar! 6 months doesn't sound too long to stay, if you're happy enough there.

Being 42 and being at home might not be the "normal" done thing, but it doesn't mean it's wrong or odd to - especially in the circumstances you've described 😊

I'm inclined to think that your mum feels much the same way, and might be more relieved than saddened by your departure.

Have you spoken to her? Asked her how she feels/what she thinks? I think at 42, you and your mum could be having an adult conversation. Your guilt may well be misplaced.

Thanks for the replies, those that point out that she might feel relieved may be right. As I say we get on great but she probably gets fed up of me being around all the time too.
Worst bit is we've stopped spending "quality" time together, we used to meet for lunch or I'd take her out for tea but not so much any more.

I sometimes sit and wonder how the hell I got here as a middle aged woman unable to make simple bloody decisions about my own life!! What's that all about?

For the sake of a few months, STAY!
The whole cost of moving (landlords make you pay deposits and pay to get references and all sorts of other nonsense) is phenomenal.

If you were talking 2 years, that is different, but, you say you get on fine, and it will only be a few months, so keep that money (not least the monthly rent) to make your dream of buying come round sooner.

What does your mum actually want? Go with that

But you are not actually in conflict with her OP, is that right? You're just feeling the strain which is totally to be expected? For the sake of 6 months, the complications and financial loss of taking on a tenancy and trying to time the end of it with buying a property, I think you're much better off staying.

When you finally move out buy her a massive bunch of flowers and take her out for a lovely meal and tell her how grateful you are that she was able to put up with you. You can then reset your relationship back to a normal adult to adult footing.
Honestly I think you're doing very well in difficult circumstances. I'm sure you can suck up the remaining time.

Ah thank you lovely.

No we're not in conflict, it's definitely me feeling the strain of not having my own space by now. You're completely right, it's not much longer and just have to think of the future