Which job would you pick?

[Iampondering]

Please give me your advice as I’m going round in circles!! A bit about me… single mum but with loads of hands on family support, one DS aged 6, mortgage free.

Job one: £65k a year (my current job.) Very very easy and flexible, can do most of pick ups / drop offs, all school holidays off, occasional weekend work needed. No progression opportunities, in fact earnings may reduce in the next 10 years due to AI (impossible to say for certain though.)

Job two: £120k a year (new job.) Really exciting job, will look amazing on CV. Likely to be very high pressure and stressful. Lots of future opportunities. 4 days a week and 25 days holiday. Hybrid and flexible, but will require some travelling to an office 2 hours away.

(I appreciate I’m very lucky to have this dilemma!) What would you pick?

Job Two.

Why wouldn’t you? You sound excited at the very thought.

I'd stick with your current job. You are mortgage free with a 6 yo.

I'd rather have the time with them than a high pressured, stressful job that will involve some time travelling 2 hrs each way to an office. I think the time with your DC will outweigh the salary. And you currently have all the school holidays with them.

Thanks both. I do find the idea of job 2 exciting, but I'm also scared of giving up time with DS.
But I'm also scared in case my current role doesn't really exist in 10 years time, and by then it will be much harder to get something else even paying in the same ball park (I'll be viewed as OLD in my industry by then!!)

Job 2 without a doubt, it's a huge payrise, sounds a great career move, is hybrid and 4 days. Sounds amazing tbh.

Okay let’s pause for a second here.

I was in a somewhat similar position to you where I jumped from £27k to £40k to £52k in a short time in my 20s.

Although taking the jobs were a no brainer, there was a really toxic team dynamic and culture that made me realise I only got the job because of how desperate the team were. People who were likely more experienced than I avoided that job like the plague.

Obviously I used it to my advantage but I think if an employer is willing to pay you £120k knowing you haven’t worked at that level before, what’s the catch? Don’t underestimate high pressure and stressful environments cause you can easily be thrown under the bus. You need to find a way to get a backup plan - if this job goes to shit, what’s your alternative?

you don’t have to jump from £65k to £120k - there’s presumably jobs in between that might be less of a potential learning curve

It sounds like you're really tempted by job 2 ........

I know change can be scary - what time will you actually be giving up with DS?

Job 2. Better prospects, huge pay rise, still decent flexibility. And you sound excited.
How would you feel if you turned it down? If you would feel disappointed or regretful then take it

@atchoooo I was earning £100k pre DS so it's just going back to those levels (my current job is part time and self employed which is why it's less.)

As to how I'd feel if I turned it down... 50% gutted and 50% relieved which is not helpful I appreciate 😂

The main amount of time I'd be giving up is the holidays. 25 days holiday vs about 60 days currently! But then I wouldn't have any weekend working which would be better.

Think of the grand or so a month that will be going into your pension.

Do you want an easy life or a fulfilling one?

Can’t you have a fulfilling life without a high pressure one?

Job 2 without a doubt. It's not even just the pay rise but the fact it will look great on the CV and protect against the obsolescence that seems to be a risk in your current place.

I've got to say - it sounds like the only thing holding you back from job 2 is fear of the unknown. You sound like you would really like to take the job and are talking yourself out of it by saying 'but what if this .....' and 'what if that...'

You're also not convinced your current job will still be there in 10 years' time.

I think it's's the best time to take control and take the opportunity you're presented with, rather than wait to see if you are scrabbling round looking for s job in the future.

It's scary, yes, .......but judging from your post it's what you want to do and you've presented the differences as just that and not as problems.

If you can do the job and you have the back up for child care, then go for it!! xx

Having more opportunities to progress would really sway me towards job two. Particularly if those opportunities are likely to be less demanding and stressful than option 2 itself.
Plus 25 days holiday is pretty normal and with a 4 day week, mostly flexi working and no weekends it sounds like a it's going to allow you more time for dc than the vast majority of full time working parents have anyway.

Stay where you are. You don't need the money. Time with your child is more important and they need you more as they approach teenage years.

Tbh I’d stick with job 1 for now. Your ds is still quite young and the flexibility and school holidays are a huge bonus. If it was me I’d look for something else once he’s a bit older.

Job 1 for now until I could find something similar to job 2 but more remote/hybrid. If you’re self employed in job 1 is there any scope for scaling up?

Personally I would do job 1 because before you know it your six year old will be 9 and not want you to pick them up from school and then be 13 not want to play games after school and then 14 not want to hang out with you before dinner and then be 16 and not want to do anything with you. holidays will zoom past. Days out in the park or forest or beach can't happen because of your job and then those chances will have gone and you won't get them back. Childhood is fleeting.

It happens fast. I sacrificed money and career for time. It has well been worth it.

@BringMeSunshineAllDayLong It happens fast. I sacrificed money and career for time. It has well been worth it.

Fair enough and I'm glad it worked for you.

However, not all situations are the same :)

There's a lot of pressure on single parents to provide financial AND emotional stability for their children, whilst trying to keep career opportunities open

It's a difficult decision - and I still think that from OP's post, she thinks that option 2 would be a really good/preferble choice, bearing in mind that there is excellent family support. hybrid working, flexibility, free weekends to spend with DS and an alleviation of future job worries

@Iampondering wishing you luck and happiness whichever way you decide to go x

Does your child do extra curricular clubs? This is the most time consuming thing I've found. Watching the sport, being the taxi. But aged 10 now and I'm so glad I was able to do this for them. They love it too. Sport presentations, training and matches. Factor this all in. I'm so glad I had the time.
And that doesn't include all the school extras too! Your child is only 6. It's only going to get busier. But I do appreciate that is a personal choice

I would say jobs tend to go in twos or threes. Boring job. Leave job. Hate second job. Do it for a year or two. Get a different job- sideways/downgrade. Third job happy but still paid more than first job. The question is do you want to do that now or in a few years time?

I would stick with job 1 because of the long holidays and also because I don’t like high stress at work. It would be my dream to be mortgage free and have a job like your current one. Particularly as you still have a young child.

Job 2 for me. You can use the money for fun summer clubs and amazing holidays together where you can go exploring and make amazing memories.

at the end of the day, if you do lose the current job in 5-10 years, you will struggle to find job 2 when everyone else is also looking for it.

I am however, not the type to give up every aspect of my life for my children, there’s still a human that needs a rewarding life. Whilst I enjoy being a mum, I like to do a job that is rewarding.

You also will only be working 4 days a week, that’s less than most adults working full time so I think it’s a nice balance.

Thanks all. I think I'd really like to go with the new job but I'm just scared of doing something I regret!