Partner thinks I am disappointed in him because of his job

[phanle]

My partner has admitted that he thinks I'm disappointed in him because he doesn't earn enough money or doesn't have a massively prestigious job.

How do I get back from that? He has been applying for many jobs but receiving rejections & compared to his peers from university (economics at Cambridge) he earns a lot less than them with £70k.

In my head, yes, he would have been earning more money than he does now, but that's only because he spent years talking about earning 6 figs in his 20s.

Before someone has a go at me, I do out earn him by quite a lot. But I feel awful that he thinks I'm disappointed him.

Well it sounds like you are disappointed. What did you say to him? What does he do for a job?

Didn't you post this before???

And 70k is a good salary. I'd love to earn that much. Or is it mates on 70k?

I did economics at Cambridge and I earn shit but then I did go into teaching.

He may well be disappointed with himself as well. If his friends earn a lot more and he is struggling then he will be feeling shit.

He's on 70k?! That's not even 'middle income' so yes YABU if you think less of him.

A sad state of affairs when you measure you're worth on the salary you earn. You clearly move in circles where that kind of thing is super important

Well it is your job to now reassure and keep reassuring your partner that you are in no way disappointed in him…that is, unless underneath it all you are, which is awful really. If he is happy otherwise in what he is doing but this is casting a pall over it then you need to work hard to remedy the situation. It’s horrible to have a partner who is disappointed in you.

It sounds like you are disappointed in him, so he's not wrong, is he?

Can you just tell him that you're not disappointed in him.
Then leave it at that. It's not your job to stroke his ego just because you earn more than him

Im sure you posted this recently basically saying you WERE disappointed in him. If not there was a poster with a very very similar story.

You have said if you ARE disappointed. Are you? Is £70k, much more than the UK median wage, too low for your expectations? What ARE your expectations? Why should he earn more than you?

So you are disappointed in him, but feel bad that he realises that?

There’s not a lot you can do about that, you feel how you feel, and it sounds like he can read you. Is he also disAppointed in himself, given he talked about earning over 100k?

I think you should have an initial conversation about what you both feel is and isn’t working in your lives, and go from there. He could earn more, or you may agree it’s easier if one of you has less career pressure.

Disappointed at a 70k salary? Funniest thing I’ve read for a while. Dear God.