Hi everyone.
I’m nearly 11 weeks and I’m feeling a bit low- trying to establish what is ‘normal hormones’ and what’s not.
I had an early loss at the start of this year and conceived immediately again, so up until my early reassurance scan I was really worried that the same would happen again. Every little thing imaginable I was concerned could affect baby, because I was so desperate for them to be healthy and ok.
I am far less anxious about baby now, but just seem to be questioning other things. I feel less happy in my day job (even though pre-pregnancy I have always adored it) and worry about the safety of my family, for instance if I know they have a long car journey. I have it in my head that DH could leave at any point, even though he’s reassured me he wouldn’t and this is never anything I worried about before.
I am at an awkward stage where nothing really fits but nobody knows I’m pregnant so I am wearing clothes I would not usually wear. I don’t feel as confident in my appearance. My friends keep asking me what my holiday plans are for this year and we just don’t have any. We are trying to save up, and I don’t see the point in holidaying while there is certain things I can’t do. I do think it would help me to have something to look forward to though.
I have lots of support around me from DH, family and friends but none of them have been pregnant after a loss or are pregnant right now so it does feel isolating in that sense that nobody is going through the physical changes with me.
This baby is so wanted and so loved already but I have been caught off guard by how low I’ve been feeling and pretty far-flung from myself before I was pregnant… certainly wasn’t expecting to feel this way!
Has anyone got any advice or ever felt the same way? I am going to seek support but other than that I need some ideas for ways to look after myself and make some positive changes so I feel better - I know it’s important for me and baby that I do this now!
Part of me wonders about taking a week or two off work to focus fully on myself, maybe pick up a new hobby and get myself some clothes I feel comfortable in. I don’t know if that is just pushing the problem though and want to be seen to have a good work ethic as I do hope to return to my job part time after maternity.
Thank you if you got this far x