How do you get your daughters to actually tidy their rooms?

[devilsice123]

My daughter is 10 nearly 11 and she throws a fit when we ask her to clean her room. I'm so fed up of it, we've tried rewards, money, days out, treats, anything to use as an incentive to clean her room. I feel like I'm at the end of my tether! I also work full time and have a 2 year old son to look after. I'm dreading weekends because any time I ask her to sort anything in her room it's all screaming and shouting! Any advice greatly received! I've told her she's got until Monday to sort her room out otherwise I'm just boxing the stuff up.

My dd was very tidy at 10 but at 15 her bedroom is always messy, my other girls were the same. In general I leave them to it but, dishes must be returned to the kitchen, washing must be in the basket, and if she has anyone round she must do a blitz on it first. Other that that I keep the door closed and don't give it a moments thought.

I choose not to fight this battle. I sort out the worst of it from time to time when I’m putting my kids to bed. When we moved house, my older kids gave a lot away. The youngest just hangs on to stuff, she is very attached to objects. I can’t be bothered with the fights so I think she’ll either decide she cares or not. I think she’ll decide she cares. I model that to her in the rest of the house.

• show them how to do it (a few times!)
• help with decluttering- mine never twigged when clothes were too small etc, just shoved them back into messy drawers
• bribery- nothing nice bought for room in terms of decor if they don't look after it
• peer pressure/shamimh when friends are coming
• agree with pp - my little one quite likes the social media influenced weekly "reset" - shower, tidy room, paint nails, whatever
• threats of binning things left on floor
• ignoring to a point !

In short, not one thing, but a combination!

Its up to my kids if they want to live in a tip - I’ve got 4 kids, the eldest and the youngest are tidy freaks, the second eldest was incredibly untidy until last year (age 10) when all of a sudden she started to keep her room tidy of her own accord!!! They’re not allowed food and drinks up there and they have to bring their own dirty washing down and take clean clothes back upstairs so I don’t have to venture into their rooms much anyway!!

Screen time is removed until it's sorted. No arguing, no discussion. Advance warning on Friday afternoon that there's no screen time in the morning unless it's done. Switched off on Friday night once it's off anyway, and there's Friday evening to sort it if she wants to lie in bed and watch tv for an hour on Sat am.

During the week I lob everything left on the floor onto her bed otherwise the robot hoover chews it up.

I let my daughter live how she wants. She rarely washes wears same clothes everyday to skl.

I have a few teens and have always stood in the room and gave them a list . So fresh bedding /hoover/dust and so on.
And then told them they best get this done now .
Music can be played whist doing it but nothing else on .
I don't ever shout at my kids or anything else like that .
Thankfully they just do it . How long that will last I don't know . Youngest is starting to rebel a little. I admire her effort but I'm super stubborn and will just sit in her room pointing at things and say sort that or pick them up and so on . Till she does it just so I stop and leave her room 🤣