Busy queue in a cafe. About 20 minutes to get to the front. Student comes in, grabs a seat and gives his order to his friend in the queue

[cakeorwine]

Should the cafe staff have said anything?

It's really rude to do that - DS could easily have done the same thing whilst we were in the queue but it was busy and it would have been pushing in.

Is it just entitlement? Selfishness?

Or smart thinking and sod everyone else?

I would hazard a guess that they weren't the only ones there that had done it.
In an ideal world I'd say what they did was rude and it shouldn't be done.
But in this world I say 'if you can't beat them join them'

Did it mean there were no tables left for people ahead of his friend in the queue?

It’s hard to say, because in some cafes it’s expected that people grab a table before ordering and in others the opposite is the norm. And in some cafes there’s no system at all. I wonder if each venue should choose a system, make it clear and enforce it?

The perennial question of whether you bag your table before you get your order 😁

Theres no right or wrong unless the food place displays a ruling

Nope, you should have done the same. Refraining from grabbing a table out of some misguided sense of propriety just ends up with you losing out. Personally I think it's totally normal to get a table and let one person queue if you're there with more than one person.

I’m being Devil’s advocate here …

Wouldn’t have bothered me at all.
An order’s an order at the bar/till. Does it matter how it became an order for 2 people?

Makes sense to have one person per group queue rather than fill the queue with everyone, means less people standing around too! I don't see an issue with one person getting a table whilst another waits to order.

Surely if he was meeting a friend they will want to eat their food together so will order together.
One sits and waits, one queues to order.
That's quite normal isn't it?
(I wouldn't have waited 20 minutes in a queue - why was the queue so long?)

I always take a seat before queuing because that's what you do, how will you know there's a seat available otherwise? Many of our local ones are waitress service anyway

Makes more sense for everyone to know they have a table before ordering. Less people in the queue, nobody hanging around looking for a table.

if someone is alone a place should have reserved cards or similar or leave a coat/book on the table.

Do you mean that one person queued up and then another arrived later on? If so, that’s a perfectly reasonable thing for them to do. They will want to eat/drink together and not have a 20 minute gap between.

I'm slightly confused what you meant about your son pushing in - was he not queuing with you?
So you were going to order, take up a table and eat while your son queues after you.
Then he comes to the table where you are sat to eat - but you've eaten so you are just sitting waiting.
So you are taking up the table for twice as long compared to if you had ordered all together.
That's more annoying.

Well for a start I wouldn't spend 20 minutes queue in a cafe I'd go elsewhere.

Secondly surely it's common sense to grab a seat and let another in your party queue to order, or all take a seat if it's table service otherwise the queue is basically 3 times as many people it needs to be.

Why on earth would you not send your son to grab a table? Why would you clog up the queue and risk standing around like lemons with a full tray and nowhere to sit?

Presumably they were meeting up in the cafe for lunch rather than just randomly bumping into each other. That being the case they did the sensible thing.

One person grabbing a seat & the other queuing for food is the normal way to do it. I'd have thought it was weirder if the 2nd person joined the queue independently

Yes - the cafe was full - so it was a case of place your order and then hope someone moves.

If it had been quieter, it would have been ok.

But it was full

Is it the order or the seat reserving that you think is rude?

If it's the fact that his friend ordered for him and you think he should have joined the back of the queue and waited, then YA def BU - how is that any different to you ordering for your DS? It's still 2 meals being ordered at the same time.
It wouldn't have made any difference to how quickly you got served, it's still just one transaction before you so doesn't affect you in any way whatsoever. It would be ridiculous if they were meeting for lunch together if one person received and eat their food before the other even had a chance to order theirs.

If it's the fact that he reserved a seat meaning that people at the front of the queue might not have one, then personally I think this is completely the normal way to do things and think that people who expect their entire group to queue up, thus taking up way too much space, are just weird. I've no idea why you would queue for 20 mins to order food if you potentially wouldn't have anywhere to eat it. I've never gone for food or coffee anywhere, with anyone, where one person HASN'T reserved a seat while others take it in turns to order. I've never even heard of it being considered rude until I read it on here.

BUT whenever this topic comes up on MN it's 50/50 as to which is the correct etiquette so 🤷‍♀️

whoathunkit

Looks like they do actually learn something at university 😂

I always grab a table before I order when I’m with people.
One orders and the other stands in the queue.
Or if I’m with my children I will sit them at a table and go up and order.

You are confused
We queued. We got to the front after 20 minutes and ordered.

Meanwhile, 2 people came in. He sat at the table.
His friend waited in the queue. She got to the front of the queue 20 minutes after we did.
So her friend basically hogged a table for about 25 minutes.

I could have asked my son to go find a table whilst I queued - but then he would have been hogging a table for 20 minutes - and that's wrong

It pisses me off, particularly since I tend to be own my own and have found myself in a position where I've just reached the head of the queue and then the last two tables have been grabbed by someone 'booking' them.

It's table hogging .
What if someone who got to the counter then couldn't find a table because someone was hogging it for someone who was in the queue - and who wouldn't be served for 20 minutes?

That is selfish.

Exactly.

Imagine a queue of cars trying to get into a car park - so you send someone in to just stand in an empty space until you eventually get to the front of the queue!

Or if you have a young child and are queuing with them, and then someone at the back of the queue sends a friend to grab the last table.

What if the cafe is really really busy and there are very few tables?

Is that just cut throat behaviour?
Wouldn't you feel an ounce of guilt if someone who had been queuing couldn't find a table?