To not go back to work just yet. 9 month old baby

[Cheesetoastiees]

I have a 9 month old (next week) DS. I’m due to return to work in two weeks, however I am really struggling and can’t stop crying. I work shifts both night and day.

My first week back has three 12.5 hour day shifts in a row. I’m really struggling with the idea of not seeing him for three full days. I’m also getting very limited sleep as he wakes every 1-2 hours just wanting a cuddle so I’m worried with about being exhausted. I have changed my hours later in the year to a more normal shift pattern and so would ideally prefer to return then (I can’t yet due to staffing).

However we really need the money, we’ve had an unexpectedly very difficult year financially. My DH is working but it only just covers the bills and I’m down to no MAT pay. I had thought about trying to work less hours for a few months to still help financially but knowing I’ll go back full time in a few months.

I’m just very concerned about mental and physical exhaustion and I’m not ready to leave the baby and not see him properly for days in a row? However I know financially I need to return. Should I just suck it up?

Options are.
Try to change your hours so the shifts are not as long. That way you can still make bath time etc.
Or, take more time off and be skint
Make your OH work overtime so you can stay at home
Or...suck it up be knackered for the next few years and get through it. I had to do this option. Not easy but needs must.

This sounds horrible for both of you. I couldn't imagine not seeing my baby for three days straight. Do you have the option of not doing the shifts back to back? For example, one day on one day off? That might make it easier in terms of separation and energy levels.

OP it's going to be hard whenever you do it. The shifts do sound gruelling, but remember it isn't forever and when the staffing issue resolves, you will have a more normal routine. Look forward to the weekends/days off that you do have, plan something nice to do, enjoy using your skills again. It's not easy but it has to be done.

Do you have any holidays you can book in the break it up a bit?

i was given the option to use “keep in touch” days to ease me back into work. I took 12 months off, but started doing a day a week once baby was 10months old. Don’t every company offer keep in touch days? I’ve been back at work for nearly 2 years now and would still love a lottery win so I could give up work and raise my daughter

Don't you, legally, have to give 8 weeks notice if you want to change your return date? That was how I understood it, in which case you'd have no choice but to go back to work.

Stay home. Seriously. Just stay home and have less.

This is what I always thought, you've left it a bit late. Can you look at it that it's temporary (if your hours will change soon), and you still get 4 whole days with baby? That's more than most mums i know get.

It seems really daunting going back but you do adjust quickly and you have the new shift pattern to look forward to so its not forever. You will still have plenty of time with your baby. The exhaustion sounds like a real issue though, does your husband share some of the night time waking?