I just want money - simple as

[seagullsstealingmychips]

The last 6 months I have become obsessed with money and material things. I see friends/acquaintances on SM with their fancy cars & holidays. Bottles of champagne for any celebration. The biggest turkey and tree for Christmas. Huge outdoor Christmas decorations.

I am not in millionaire circles, I don't have millionaire friends or anything evenly remotely close to that type of monetary level. These are friends/acquaintances who I would deem as the average job-blogs type, like myself. Yet they seem to have endless pots of cash. Yes, I know SM doesn't necessarily show the full picture and all their spending could be on credit cards. But surely not everyone is putting that kind of money on a card to pay off later ?

I want a wardrobe full of quality clothes, bags & shoes. Not top of the range designer, but something along the lines of Reiss, Mint Velvet type of thing. Doesn't need to be a huge wardrobe, just a decent range of enough clothes so I only wear the same thing once a week, kind of thing. I want my (gel) nails done every 3 weeks. My car will need to be replaced soon, I want a better car than I have. Doesn't need to be top of the range or brand new. But a car which is only a few years old, SUV and has the fancy gadgets inside it.

I'm 50. Could this be a meno-thing ?

No real point to this post ! Flamings need not reply.

I've gone the opposite way! I don't spent money on clothes, make up, cars etc anymore. I suppose it's because I'm drawing a pension in the next couple of years and am worried about uni fees for daughter etc.
I'm surprised just how much money I 'wasted' on non essentials, the only thing I don't cut back on is socialising with friends and travel.

How much do you earn OP?

Sometimes when I have a fresh new want (e.g., sudden urge to buy 1,500 different face creams) I take a deep breath and step away from social media.
The social media algorithms are designed to find a weakness in us, and then double down. If you have a little feeling that you'd like more money, you'll linger on the page, and the social media beast will feed you more and more content to make you feel that way.
I'd recommend deleting instagram for a week and see if you feel the same way.

Could be that you are at a stage in your life where you’re looking around and feeling dissatisfied with what you have achieved? Wanting some material possessions is fine but surely it should be balanced with good health, continued learning and overall happiness.

You need to edit your social media. Follow people who don't showcase that sort of thing - whatever you're into, but on a gentle scale. Mine is full of gardeners, but whatever suits you.

Then mute the show-offs - don't unfollow them, just put them on quiet.

I’d honestly get off the social media / unfollow those people.

It’s not healthy. Some are probably very well off - no mortgage etc so lots of disposable income. Some will have lots of credit card debt.

Ultimately, you are seeing a tiny snapshot of their lives.

How do you think your life will improve if you buy more expensive stuff?

I want lots of clothes.
And I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever
I don’t care about funny

I wants lots of gold
and a shit tonne of diamonds
I hear people die
when they’re trying to find them

….

You and Lilly Allen 😁

she suggests in her song to take your clothes off and be shameless

go for it 🙂👍

on a serious note, I am also 50s and suddenly very very fed up with my frugal lifestyle and being careful with money… for what. I see my peers getting sick and dying, May as well spend it now. I even heard myself say “Fuck Lidl” to a friend the other day

so yes I am experiencing a shift in how l think about money too…. unfortunately in the middle of DH longest bout of unemployment so any money I want I will need to earn myself 😁

on a serious note, I am also 50s and suddenly very very fed up with my frugal lifestyle and being careful with money… for what. I see my peers getting sick and dying, May as well spend it now. I even heard myself say “Fuck Lidl” to a friend the other day

This sums it up perfectly. I have worked FT for over 30 years, like millions of others. I'm currently doing a 50 hour week. I don't want to be frugal anymore. I don't want to be careful with money (within reason) and buy that slightly cheaper bottle of wine when I much prefer the slightly more expensive bottle.

@MyFirstLittlePony totally Fuck Lidl !

@RomeoRivers I earn £50k. We have a large mortgage, due to the area we live in not because we have an exceptionally large house. 3 DC. It seems I/we cannot earn the money quick enough than it is flying out of the door each month. So very sick of being frugal, watching what we spend (within reason), going without things, juggling funds, dreaming of things I want to do but probably never will. These are not necessarily extravagant things either. Ordering the slightly cheaper meal in the restaurant or the house wine, simply because they are a bit cheaper, but these are not the meals/drinks I really want.

What does your DH add to the pot? Are DC old enough to have part time jobs? Can you go out for fewer but more expensive meals, so at least you are actually having what you really want?

Is there a way for both you and DH to seek out promotions? Can you start investing now, in order to have the lifestyle you want later?

I'm the same. I want to be able to go on a shopping trip for things I want and not have to budget and buy only like a few small items 😔

I want to be able to buy my kids the toys I think oh cool I want them to have that! Rather than thinking maybe for birthday/Christmas/ in the future haha

I'm happy and I have a happy life but I would love it if I could earn an extra 1-2k a month

It is 100% human to feel this way

However, these things are not necessary for your health and wellbeing

Simply stop coveting material possessions and focus on coveting good relationships. That is where the lions share of your happiness comes from. Connect with nature and people you love and like. Connect less with show offs if they trigger you!!

Seeing my mother avariciously hoarding savings and pensions her whole working life, only to develop dementia almost immediately upon retirement and spunk all her thousands on predatory charities and scammers has put me off saving for the future somewhat. I say live while you're alive.

OP, it's normal to want things like this (although it doesn't usually actually bring happiness, worth bearing in mind).

But if you really want this lifestyle, have you started putting a plan together for how you can get it?

There is no point just moaning/ complaining - that won't make it a reality.

If you're in reasonable health then you can maximise your income if you take some initiative and put all of your focus on it.

Depends how much you really actually want these things, or if you just wanted to have a moan (which is equally fine - we'd all like another couple of £1000 a month - but most people don't want it enough to make the required sacrifices, or don't have the initiative to do so).

There’s something about priorities

some choose holidays, some the house, some a car, some the clothes. The issue with social media is you see all those things and it never really registers that they are different people so it looks like everyone has everything

It's possible that some your friends or acquaintances have come into inheritances if they are around your age, that may be why they are suddenly flush. Other than that they may be in debt, you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.
I'm all for buy the best you can, enjoy nice thinks and live in the moment - just try and limit social media it's not good for anyone.

Oh so much this! So true. I started to use Instagram more often recently and suddenly I bought a much-advertised hair styler and three new foundations. ALL OF IT WAS CRAP. And I am not an impressionable person at all!

@platypusweek is so right, it’s all designed to make you feel the want and spend money. It’s insidious.

When you see influencers in nice houses they often rent them literally just for their video.
The cars are rented or on lease, no one owns anything. When the bubble pops and it will they'll be screwed.