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Torn between leaving and staying

8 replies

Lilllypad11 · 25/04/2024 22:23

I’ve spent a long time thinking about this. I’ve worked at my company for 4 years. Sometimes I love it sometimes I hate it. For the most part I grin and bear it. I know there’s worse.

when I came to this workplace, I had a diff manager. She was, strange. She’d be nice to your face but want to make you look worse to SLT and higher management. I was drained by her.

She left, I went for her position (didn’t get it) which was fine and they offered me an alternative role which was a promotion but not as high, in the end, I took it, but I don’t feel happy with it. I feel I am capable of that role, they just took her because she’s known to higher management.

It’s been 6 months, but yet, I still can’t warm to her, it’s just not happening, nothing I can try to do will make me like her. I know she is the type of person who wants to feel important but pretends she’s not. She plays the nice card but I know that’s not really her. But I play the game nonetheless

Im young, but I’ve worked in enough places to know, she isn’t a good manager.

I feel ready to move up the ladder. But leaving also feels like a huge decision. I’m 28, but I know I should be further up in my career than this, another man who was once a director, now much less senior told me “don’t be fooled by the term you need more experience. You’ll find 5 years pass and you’ll miss good opportunities, keep looking”

help , I feel so confused.

OP posts:
Lilllypad11 · 25/04/2024 22:53

Stupidly forgot to mention a new manager has come in since who I don’t really like.

OP posts:
WhiteCatmas · 30/04/2024 06:54

Leave.
Your gut is telling you to go. You’re young.Leave.

Kpo58 · 30/04/2024 07:20

Definitely find a new job and then leave.

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TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 30/04/2024 07:27

Now is the time to build your career. Get as high and as well paid as you can get so that you have choices and more flexibility if you want to have children.

Start job hunting, find a mentor and start closing off skills gaps while you wait for the right job

Squiggles23 · 30/04/2024 08:57

Definitely look for a new job. I think at the start moving jobs every 3 years or so is no bad thing. If you stay in one place they can sometimes take you for granted. Obviously down the line it’s nice to settle into one job but when you are building your career it’s not always the best move.

Pookerrod · 30/04/2024 09:32

The best and quickest way to progress and earn more is to move companies. Never make a sideways move and always negotiate hard going in. Never take their first pay offer. And don’t forget other benefits. Negotiate pension contributions, holiday days, everything.

Don’t stay where you are not valued.

Just think, in 3-6 months time you could be in your lovely new job, performing at a higher level, being paid a hell of a lot more, and wondering why you didn’t do this sooner.

Mememe9898 · 30/04/2024 17:34

I’ve got a different perspective on this. My view is that you are very young and got plenty of time to get to more senior level work. You might think it’s what you want and then you get there and it’s not what it’s cracked up to be.
im in a senior level role and it took me ages to get there but to be fair I wasn’t too bothered in my early career. I’ve grafted to be where I am but it’s bloody hard work and i don’t regret not having got there earlier but at the same time I don’t have financial pressures so that might be different for you. I married young to someone who earns well above your average salary so I always had financial security which didn’t motivate me to push for bigger jobs.
The amount of responsibility and pressure that you get and the lack of understanding/empathy from junior staff is really tough. Now I used to be one of them but I’ve realised that I didn’t quite get how much pressure, stress my manager was under until I became one. Just be careful what you wish for!

NoThanksymm · 30/04/2024 22:31

get that resume/CV polished off!

start applying to things that look good. it’s gonna take time (even years) so apply to what you want!

once a manager Said to me you gotta change jobs every 5 years to stay happy, it’s been about true! Usually that’s when I grow sick of (whomevers) shit.

so yeah. Apply.

OR and this i highly recommend.

get a leave of absence and travel (or quit! Or ask for a layoff). You’re at the best possible age for it! Not young and dumb but (probably/statistically) not in a Morgage! And you’ll appreciate everything more.

Go be exactly who you are in this moment in another country, where no one knows you or has expectations of you.

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