Does anyone else feel completely invisible?

[ADVICENEEDED987]

As the title says really, does anyone feel completely invisible?

I'm a single parent to 3 children so life is busy. The children live with me and stay with their Dad for 24hours a fortnight so I have no time for a social life in the evenings/weekends and have had to take a full time job to pay the bills since the separation so no time to see friends in the week (I used to work part time so often caught up with friends for coffee mid week before). I rarely hear from friends anymore now, I don't get invited anywhere as they are all spending time with their partners at weekends and I am working all week. I didn't even get any happy birthday cards/texts from friends this year on my 40th. When I have invited friends to my house the last few times they have all either cancelled last minute or only stayed for a very short time.

I hate my job. It is tedious and not enjoyable at all, I regret taking the job so much as I enjoyed my last one but needed more money to pay the mortgage. People in the office are quite friendly but no one talks whilst they work so I spend nearly the whole working day in silence and then the evenings are just getting the kids to clubs, helping with homework, making dinner, getting them to bed etc. Weekends are just catching up on housework with little time and no spare money for fun activities.

I just feel as though all my friends have forgotten me and my sole purpose in life is to pay the bills and be everything to everyone at home. I'm exhausted and lonely 😢

Wow, you sound like you have no time to yourself at all. Is there any chance your ex could have the kids a bit more to give you a break?

I’m in a similar situation so I sympathise. I wfh most days so no opportunity to socialise through work and busy with children most evenings.

The night my kids are with their dad I do all I can to find someone to go and do something with. It could be a walk, a drink, a coffee. I let the housework and all of that wait. I also invite people to my house when I can’t go out. Could you try re-connecting with old friends? I know it’s not easy and people are often busy with their partners, but you might be a surprised if you try. You could also try being upfront with some friends and say you’d love some company.

Not really. things are quite difficult with my ex so not something I feel comfortable asking him unfortunately

It is hard isn't it, and I am finding it very lonely recently. I like the idea of even just meeting someone for a walk. I might see if I could join a friend when she walks her dog one Saturday evening when my kids are at their Dad's.

The cancelling/ only staying a while is unfortunately life now as everyone is wrecked from jobs/ kids/ caring and only literally have time slots to fit people in (not in a bad way). The amount of friends I’ve talked to lately who said they’re just getting home from work and then they feel they’re back in. And unfortunately so many people don’t do cards any more, it’s just social media. Contact them and tell them you’re lonely. Also do you have any family who can give you a breather? You need some you time, a walk/ a swim/ a class/ sitting down with a book somewhere without children. Hope it gets easier op x