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To think why I don’t have any luck at the moment

1 reply

Whoisthee · 25/04/2024 20:26

I’m sorry but I’m just so utterly exhausted tonight. It feels like absolutely nothing goes my way at the moment. Two years ago my mum died of cancer and I don’t have a close bond with MIL. There is no “motherly” figure in my life. I’m an only child with only my dad and an uncle ( mums brother) who doesn’t bother with us, mainly due to being a conspiracy theorist. I have no cousins, aunties etc. I have a few mum friends but no one close. I have a three and a half year old who is very full on. He goes to nursery while I work three days per week. My job is ok but quite under stimulating. My partner is self employed and works long hours. I have Alopecia and just after my hair was growing back at Christmas it has all fallen out again. Just small strands left. I used to have lovely, thick brown hair. Considering shaving it all off. I’m on strong immunosuppressants for this which make me feel awful. I have a constant struggle with my weight. Try to get out running most days which helps. Even today I’d arranged to meet some friends but had to cancel at the last minute as I started with a sickness bug that my partner and DS have had. I’d been looking forward to meeting up for a while and with my mum passing, having no family and my hair loss I’m just sick of having no luck. I feel like my friends will hate me because I cancelled on them. Irrational I know, as there will be other chances over Summer. I think I could do with speaking to a counsellor really to bash out my feelings but with no one to look after DS that’s not possible and I don’t like the thought of doing it over the phone. Sorry for the long post but I’ve come to bed early and everything is just going round in my head.

OP posts:
Solgrass · 25/04/2024 20:38

You’re overwhelmed, still grieving, exhausted from daily life. It’s a lot.

I too have suffered hair loss- it’s very difficult to explain how it robs you of your identity. I didn’t even have great hair to begin with- but it feels like it takes your femininity, your looks, your youth. That on its own is hard to heal with but you also have these other things on your plate.

Only advice is to focus on one issue at a time.
Leave the weight thing. I too am overweight but in all honestly, eating brings me comfort and joy and I’m taking that little joy right now. Ill def get there one day but today a I’ve got other stuff to deal with.

Your job, yes its boring right now but you can deal with that another time.

Working in developing your family relationships/friendships is what I think you should try and focus on.

Try and focus on your partner and trying to get him home more. When you’re on your own so much, anxiety can spiral. You also can’t be expected to do all the childcare.

Just pick a few things to work on and fuck the rest. You can’t do everything, you can’t be superwoman. Good luck OP!

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