5 year age gap between kids… anyone?

[thiu]

Can anyone share their experience of this age gap?

Our DC will probably be 4 before we think about TTC again - if we go on to have a second.

I was wondering what the pros and cons are of an age gap like this and whether your DC still get on, how the older one adjusted to being a sibling etc.

9 year gap.

Older one loved having a baby! No rivalry or squabbles as gap too big for clashes. Good friends as adults and play golf together etc.

5 year gap here, it's lovely. Older one is old enough to understand baby has different needs and young enough that they want to play with baby. Their needs are so different they aren't competing.

My two are now 18 (DD) and 13 (DS). They get on really well, and generally have done all their lives. DD was a tiny bit jealous when DS arrived but she was old enough to discuss things rationally.

My 2 have a 4 year age gap, and actually worked really well. Older one was potty trained and at nursery etc so made thing easier, also older one was excited and helpful in bringing nappies, wipes etc ☺️

6 year gap, it was wonderful and is even more wonderful now (6 and 12, with a 3 year old now too!). The three of them are a little gang, and each pair also have a special bond. Their different needs complement each other perfectly, there is a lovely harmony. We tend to do activities which are not age specific (nature walks, beach, movie night, museum, lego) so that all works well. All obsessed with Bluey. 6 year old the only boy. It is brilliant!

We have a 5 year age gap and I think it's great. We planned it intentionally that way as wanted eldest in school before we had to worry about paying for nursery for a 2nd.

It meant that I had sort of the first baby experience the second time around. We had lots of one on one time. We could go to baby yoga and do baby focussed things as I wasn't trying to entertain an older toddler at the same time. And older one could do things like get her own snacks, get me the tv controller so I could put the tv on for her while I fed ds, she could understand she needed to wait or entertain herself for a bit if I was busy. My mat leave was also her first year of school, so I could be very present and available while she transitioned to school as I was off work all year. It was really beneficial in terms of work and finances too as we were in a much different position career wise by that stage. And eldest adjusted really easily because she was old enough to understand the change and what was happening.

I would say the only challenging bit has been finding activities to suit them both. Eldest would love to go mountain biking for 3 hours, but youngest is still too young for an outing like that. Or wants to go to the cinema, but youngest won't sit through a film that long. But older preteen don't want to do boring kid stuff either, etc. But I have friends with dc closer in age and they have similar issues just because their dc like different things, have different friends, fight about sharing toys, etc. I think also siblings fight and are stubborn, so I don't know how much of that is an issue because of the age gap or just because they're siblings.

I think it's a great age gap though and I'd do exactly the same again. I can't really see any negatives.

There is near enough a 5 year gap between my eldest and unborn babe. DD is so excited to have a baby in the house again - she has a good understanding of what a baby can do, she’s calm and very caring with her wild 2 year old sister, who has no interest in babies.

With #2 and even #3 they just slot into the routines you’ve already got. School runs… bedtimes…

Two DD's 6 years apart. Never any issues or problems, played beautifully when young. Older one has supported the younger, which I do sometimes worry about the pressure of being the older sister, but now they are both in their twenties, it has equalled out, and they are best friends and mutually supportive. They go on holiday together.

I had a 13 year gap between myself and my youngest brother, which was great when I was young, but the age gap has become more of a generation gap as we have all aged. We are very different.

5 year old age gap between two boys. Has worked well for us as we've been able to give lots of individual attention to both of them. There is very little sibling rivalry and the older one is generally quite patient with his younger brother. They've always played well together but this has gotten even better over the years as they've become older as the gap in ability has decreased

There will be a 20 year age gap between stepkids & my own if we ever manage to have one 🤣

I have a six year old and a one year old, it's not what we planned but I'm so happy it turned out this way. As previously mentioned, you get to have time just you and the baby, and you also get to be on maternity leave for an early part of your elder child's schooling. I found the small baby phase quite relentless first time round, working round the school run broke the day up.

My daughter does sometimes get annoyed when she's creating an intricate masterpiece and a toddler comes rampaging over, but she's so caring towards him, plus is old enough to be helpful, e.g. grabbing some wipes for you. They absolutely adore each other 😊

6 years here and it has been fine and they get on well. There are times when the gap seems huge like when one is 10 and the other 16 but it changes as they change. I enjoyed the time with one and now dc23 has left home it is nice having time with ds17 on his own. There are challenges but it worked for is well. They seem close.

We have just over a 5 year age gap between our son and daughter and I think it’s a really good gap to have.

Our son was very ready to have a sibling and being older meant he understood what was happening when she came along. We got more one on one time with each child and had zero jealousy issues. As they got older, there was no competition or fighting as the age gap was too big. Our son looked out for his sister and our daughter really looked up to her brother. They always stuck up for each other. It was really lovely to see.

The only downside I suppose was sometimes days out that were suitable for one, were sometimes not great for the other, but we just did lots of days out and they were both happy for the other to have a nice day. Sometimes I would do something with one of them and my partner would do something with the other. Some people said they wouldn’t want to go back to changing nappies after so long without it, but that wasn’t an issue for us.

Now they’re 20 and 15 and still very close. Our oldest is at uni and they FaceTime often and confide in each other. Our son is very respectful of girls and women and I think as well as us drumming that into him, having such a close relationship with his sister has helped that. I hope they’ll always be as close.