Elder abuse , how common is it and how do we prevent it?

[Weenurse]

I was speaking to an elderly woman a few days ago, let’s call her Ella.
Ella commented that her daughter had reported Ella to the motor vehicle licensing department 3 times in the last 2 years so try to get her license revoked. Ella had to do her test again each time.
Ella then commented that she wanted to sell her family home and downsize as it was too big for her alone ( her husband passed away 5 years ago). She said both her children objected to this but offered no alternative.
Ella then said her daughter and grandson reported Ella to authorities claiming Ella had dementia and could no longer make decisions for herself. Ella had to get her local doctor to advocate for her.
I have also heard of middle aged children refusing to use their parents money to fund the care that the parent needs “that’s my inheritance “.
I was upset for Ella, (who has sorted everything for herself and written both children out of her will) but it made me wonder how common this is?
How can we prevent this?
I am in Australia so care is funded differently here.

Unfortunately it is very common, some people may not realise they are abusers.

people need to get their affairs in order before they can’t do things for themselves and us as outsiders need to report abuse when we see it.

Social structuring IMO. It's common and gets many in the end.

Here, it's an increasing attitude in society that disabled and older people are of little use, and a burden on society, unless they are paying other able people for their care, therefore don't need whatever they have.
Therefore everyone and anyone has rights over them and what they have, and to make money from them, as long as it's wrapped up as 'concern.'

Some of it is control, some greed, and some of it criminality, but it all makes assumptions over rights to autonomy.

I raise disability, because it's where it starts with ageing.
Lesser abilities = needs help. Needs help = burden. Burden = reasonable target.
Even fit older people start to show frailties of age, and it's what makes them 'other' and seen as no longer entitled to all sorts of things, and others entitled to whatever they have and to take over, needed or not.

Both disabled and older people used to have their place and uses in society, but that's been pretty much eradicated, and current financial contribution is all that's valued now.

Many wont agree or that it's been encouraged by governments, because it's too uncomfortable. But ask the physically disabled their experiences of denied autonomy through disability, and how it significantly ramps up and doubles as they age, while they're still working and long before they're officially elderly. They get targeted early, and often more frequently the older they get.

Everyone with the smallest grudge will report to the DVLA, as 'shouldn't be driving' the DWP because 'shouldn't be working/ shouldn't be assisted to work/ might be somehow committing fraud', housing, because 'someone else could use that flat', council as needing social service assessment because 'wont employ dodgy neighbors lad to do gardening/wash car' and 'obviously in need of help and could pay for someone else to do it.'
Reporting for supposed 'dementia' usually happens when they realize they've been seen through/nothing else has worked.

It varies from downright attempted defrauding by the criminally minded, to ideas
of 'they don't need and I/we could use it' / 'they'll be dead soon' backed up by the constant nudging towards needing paid for dependence on others, being expected to put others needs automatically first, ('you've had your life/help') forced DNR's, and encouragement towards assisted suicide all in the name of ' the greater good.'
Disabled people's two tier society experience, is actually the writing on the wall for what starts to happen to many people as they age, but denial is so strong, it comes as a shock to realize it's the future for many previously non disabled too.

The modern climate of automatic othering of physical vulnerability and current ability to financially contribute, affects everyone's social 'status' negatively as they age, allowing nefarious relatives and criminals to predate more easily imo.

It’s pretty difficult to actually tell if people are abusing or trying to help.

what motivation would Ella’s daughter have for trying to get her driving licence revoked? Other than safety? You’d have to be a really nasty piece of work to try to get someone’s licence and freedom curtailed if it wasn’t necessary - it would have to be straight up malice and spite - and there would be no gain for her daughter either if Ella lost her licence so I can’t even see the point. I know she then passed the test again, but that’s a snapshot, so she could have had issues.

I would also add that my dsf, before he died, passed all of the mental tests that HCPs gave him. But he was not 100% mentally - sometimes he thought that he lived in the location he was in 30 years ago, for example. It didn’t matter anyway as my mum was looking after him, but it’s just an example of health services not necessarily knowing stuff - or tests not picking up problems.

The fact the motivation is only obvious to those who have been there makes it easier to get away with.
I appreciate their can be legitimate reasons too, but one motivation to remove someone's driving license can be to enforce their dependence on others, as well as providing a usable, maintained vehicle to those others. (if you ever want to go anywhere/achieve anything again it will be maintained in your name at your cost.)
People trying to control others (I accept also sometimes for good reasons) seek to shrink the persons world and connections with others, down to just them, remove all independence, and create total dependence on them for everything.

This gentleman isn't old, but is an example of someone who despite his vulnerability, previously had a career, a social life, a good family and plenty of friends, before it was successfully stripped from him by systematically shrinking his world down and turning him into a cash cow, with loans taken out in his name and asset stripped, to provide for others.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/sussex-disabled-man-wife-partner-jailed-b2375773.html
Thankfully one friend and later his sister, didn't let themselves be pushed permanently away.

It's common. I used to work on an older peoples helpline. Usually carried out by family members.

What's needed.

Widespread cultural change is needed. Ageism is endemic - and not just tolerated but defended (see every second thread on here).

Prevent isolation. Support to keep older people in the community and actively socialising.

Reverse cuts to adult social care. Even if you want to get help for an older person this needs to be fought for - it should be a right.

Tougher penalties.

This gives a little more info into the set up: metro.co.uk/2023/04/14/woman-used-disabled-husband-as-cash-cow-during-affair-with-his-carer-18610765/
In that case there was no driving license to strip away, but its the same basic stuff of isolating the person, shrinking their world, and creating core dependence on one or two people.

Someone I worked for had people try to take her house in her retirement. She was very politically active going to conferences all over the place. They started by seeking to get her driving license removed when she wouldn't sell them her home.
As well as being politically very active, she was old and had hoarding disorder.
So apparently getting her house off her by any means so it could be knocked down to create an access road that would make their gardens very valuable as building plots, was justified. Thankfully my license was intact.

Many people suffer variants. (I believe Wallace Simpson met a similar fate in the end.)

I agree with what you've written @MinervaMcGonagallsCat .

Society's care and treatment of the elderly is disgraceful, encouraged by the media who often portray elderly people as bed blockers or holding onto their family homes unnecessarily. Social care for the elderly is broken.

Elderly people have spent their lives working, paying taxes, raising families - all things that have been for the benefit of society. Many still contribute huge amounts to society - elderly people are carers, often in circumstances that we wouldn't allow in paid employment, many are looking after grandchildren. Regardless though, all elderly people are deserving of dignity, respect and the help they need to live their lives.

Quite rightly, as a society we try and protect children - we are concerned about their well being, their mental health. We debate ways of making their lives better - everyday in the media are articles expressing concern about things that may be detrimental to them. We do not see nearly one thousandth as much concern about our elderly, which I think is very sad. And short sighted because one day we are all going to be elderly.

Thank you all, I hadn’t thought about the disabled experiencing this as well, but it is very true.

I know I am a bit late to this conversation but I used to work for an organisation that actually undertook the driving assessments when someones ability to drive was in question and I have to say that its common for family members to report elderly family members anonymously as they see the deterioration in their awareness of what is going on around them and their reaction times and realise its not only dangerous for their parent, but also for the general public. My experience was that it was rarely malicious.

However the ability to do LPA's on line, leave the elderly open to financial abuse and they are now thinking about doing Wills online and it just should not happen. there should be a qualified and indemnified professional saying the person is of sound mind and not Joe Bloggs from next door.