Am I ungrateful

[Taylorrrs]

I feel awful writing this. DH gets my POV

My birthday is Friday. We’re having work done to our house so I was just going to go to my parents house with my 16 week old baby, my 3yo in nursery. Just because we don’t want the baby around dust and it’ll be loud etc and 3yo DS couldn’t be around the work as it’s building work of course and he is into everything

i was happy to go, help my parents any jobs they needed doing then have a nap when my baby naps. DS does nursery we’d-Friday so I use those days to try and rest when I can but to have 1-2-1 time with DS2. I have baby classes Wednesday and Thursday so Fridays are really my day where I laze with DS2 to get prepared for a manic weekend / start of week with our little whirlwind toddler haha! DS2 doesn’t sleep well either so I am very tired

my mum said she booked the day off and we should go out all day for my birthday as I’m taking the kids out on the weekend to celebrate (was treating Saturday as my birthday etc)

I don’t really fancy going out :( I’m so exhausted I just wanted to relax before I spend my weekend and start of week after filling each day keeping my active toddler occupied and trying to sort the house after all the stuff is done

am I ungrateful thinking this? I’ll obviously go on a day out because she took time off work but I just wanted to not do anything really. I hate my birthday in general but my ‘celebration’ was going to be the Saturday with the kids

No not at all, she probably just wants to make a fuss of you. My favourite days are in my pjs I totally get this. It's nice to have a day where you don't have to get ready to go out isn't it. Iv got a 5 year old daughter x

If you don't want to go out, you shouldn't. When it's your birthday, you can do whatever you want, and other people need to let you do what you want to do.

I don’t I do want to just relax a bit. I was up every hour last night and that’s not uncommon so I have minimal energy I feel like a car with no petrol

but how can I say no if she’s booked a day off? :(

Just be honest with her she's your mum she'll understand. I'd ask for her to come to the house and relax there for the day instead.

Just tell her everything you've just put on here she will totally be fine with it and she's still spending the day with you and not at work

Oh since she took the day off I would definitely do something with her, but you don;t have to go out. Maybe an afternoon tea delivered to the house? Lovely you have such a caring and thoughtful mum!

Just be honest "Mum, I'm so exhausted at the moment that the best birthday treat you can give me is watching the baby whilst I sleep uninterrupted. Could we please stay home and do that?"

Can she look after the baby with her day off while you nap?