Pressure on babies/kids?

[Bloooonails]

Slightly ranty here … sorry

I have a 12 week old and just turned 2yo. I feel like so many people expect a lot from babies and toddlers sometimes act like they’re performing monkeys

so for example, my youngest was crying in the pram. She doesn’t like the not being able to see she is happiest when held up or in a seat propped up (baby bjorn bouncer so she’s supported)
someone puts their head in and says “AW DOESNT SHE SMILE AT PEOPLE SHE DOESNT KNOW?” I mean.. not all the time ? Sometimes yes but also if I was laying flat and a stranger popped their head not far from me I wouldn’t smile

lots of comments about babies and smiles and if they fuss like she’s still young her only way to communicate is to fuss or cry

my toddler. This one grinds my gears. So he isn’t too close with DH’s family - but they don’t bother with him. So the very few times he sees them he’s nervous and sometimes won’t go to them and clings to me/cries. 1) he literally doesn’t see them , so why would he run to them , 2) he is quite sensitive I think as a kid. He’s a bit nervous/shy and his world has recently changed majorly with a new sibling he has to share his mummy and daddy now. So yes he may cling more

some of DH family came to our house r to see the kids. DS was happy as quite hyper after nursery haha playing away. The next day DH speaks on the phone to another family member and said “that was the best he’s seen him”
the best? Maybe if you bothered more you’d see that side of him more. It really angered me because he’s allowed to feel emotions to not want certain people

I don’t know if I’m just a bit stressed / tired so being moaning myrtle but can we just let babies and toddlers be and not over analyse / critique them !

Ahh OP. If I’m being honest it doesn’t sound like either of these situations were particularly high pressure for your DC. They were probably oblivious! It sounds like they left you feeling under pressure, which is totally understandable when you are trying to manage two tiny kids and not become overwhelmed. Try not to let it get to you.

@VivaVivaa Yeah I am a bit overwhelmed atm I just feel like everyone expects my kids to be happy 24/7 nothing bother them and they can’t be shy or tired etc!! X

I mean this in the nicest way but no one cares about your child, they’re just making conversation

babies at that age don’t really have a personality so people are stuck on what to say

it’s a nonsense, let it go

I used to get really annoyed when people asked me if my kids (when they were babies) were 'good'.
Good at what? Being a baby? Yes. Crying? Absolutely! Drinking their milk? Like they had never been fed.
But what they were getting at was if they were 'good' at sleeping through the night, or 'good' at not crying/fussing during the day. The answer was absolutely not! But they were babies, they weren't supposed to sleep through and they can't speak to tell me they were bored/tired /hungry so they cry to let me know. It's not a bloody competition!

@ghostbusters right this too!!!! This is exactly what I mean

I get it’s conversation but my 12 week old isn’t bad because she doesn’t sleep through. My toddler isn’t bad because he has tantrums.

They’re supposed to do these things I fully agree x

Tiredness OP .

Remember, you're doing the most amazing job .