How do you give up on things you can't have?

[W0nderingandWandering]

I don't want to go in to specifics but there are two things in my life I wanted to do which are no longer possible but I'm finding it hard to move on in my life. There seems to be reminders all the time and I don't seem able to draw a line under it. It's causing issues with DP as he's bored of hearing about it.

Set yourself new goals that you know are achievable

^ This plus gratitude for what you have

I just focus on what I CAN achieve and what I have got.

I have always wanted to be a bride (I am well aware of how silly it sounds!) and that isn't something that will ever happen for me. My sister got married recently and it was the most wonderful magical day but I was so shocked by how much everything cost that I'm comforting myself with at least I have my savings 😅

Is there anything close you can do eg if it’s having an animal can you visit someone else’s? If it’s learning to swim can you go paddling, getting a horse, go visit a stables etc?

Concentrate on the things you have done that maybe others would love to do but might never have the chance. Places you’ve been to, things you have seen or experienced. Take comfort in knowing no one in this world can do everything they want to but embrace the experiences you have had.

I think if there things which you're no longer going to be able to do but which have previously been important to you it's normal to have a grieving process for the person you could have been and life you could have had, etc. sometimes therapy can be helpful to work through these feelings and move forwards, but it's not always necessary. Journalling can be helpful to start to reframe your thoughts and start to shift from depression to acceptance.

Always wanted to be a bridesmaid. I'd be a great one too, esp as my own two were shite. Not going to happen now.

By doing those things once done you would still come home and be the same person, assuming this isn't something like have kids as yes you will never be the same again, so think about doing something else.

You will still come home and be the same person so whatever you can or choose to do instead make it fun rather than perceived life changing.

Focus on what you have got and be thankful for that.

I think it depends on what the things are? If it's something massive, like not having children that you desperately wanted then maybe therapy, as you can't gratitude your way out of those feelings.