Looking for advice from mature adults

[LindyMoe]

I hope I haven't offended anyone, I'm just struggling to get out of my own head and would love to hear from more mature people.

I'm 35, married to a great man and have a toddler.
Recently life feels like it's been testing me and I'm failing. I lost my mum last year, my career feels stagnant and I'm not where I should be in life.

I keep doing the silly thing of comparing myself to others. I just want to be more grateful but can't get out of my head. I think my ego is bruised career wise (my head says I should be earning over £100k by now, I should have had a second kid by now, I should be running a more successful side hustle. Should should should)

For those of you that have been blessed to live longer and full lives, will this pass? Will I look back and see this as a phase?

How did you learn to love where you are?

Not sure if I am mature in the way you mean but I'm much older than you. In my case, no it doesn't.

However, you can learn to drown out the 'should, should, should' narrative. Counselling might help.

What I do is try to count my blessings, look at what I have not what I don't have, and tell myself that my goals at 21 y o were not realistic.

Who says you should be on £100K p a, have a second child etc by now? It sounds like you are doing perfectly OK to me.

There's a lot of "shoulds" in your post Op- why should you have another DC, why should you earn £100K? Don't get me wrong, they both sound reasonable to me, but you're guilting yourself rather than enjoying what you have achieved.
I know it's now an old fashioned view but there is something to be said for gratitute, for being grateful for the DC you have, for a steady job, for the people who love you. I hope when you're older you won't remember the guilt, you'll look back and remember the happiness