What to expect when child starts reception?

[cosysoc]

My only child starts reception in September. He's currently at nursery 3 days per week.

What should I expect from the transition? What is it like and how can I prepare / help him prepare? (He is energetic, and very spirited but also can be sensitive if that's relevant). I'm thinking of starting him on an after school activity or two such as Squirrels or Drama / Sport but don't know if that's overkill at this age? He will need to join after school club on 3 days- will he be shattered and what is after school club / wraparound care like?

Also for myself, I don't have any mum friends and would like to make some. How can I do that?

Following with interest!

I started taking dd to the toilet and feeding her at the same time as recess, lunch and after school to get her into the routine.

Also, on here, someone said to have food at the school gate so I chopped an apple each day and brought a water bottle, too. Well, she couldn’t bitch about anything if she’s eating. I brought extra food if I was collecting extra kids.

Ex reception teacher and also my daughter is in reception this year!

As a parent… Expect them to be very tired, perhaps a little emotional on the evenings. Expect to not get a lot out of them - what did you do today - nothing. Who did you play with - no one. I found that DD would talk more about her day with less questioning! Usually one organised Mum will set up a Whattsapp group for the whole class, listen to your son, see which friends names keep popping up. Just start chatting to other Mums in the pickup lines etc. DD does swimming and gymnastics, both towards the start of the week; she’s ready for the weekend by Friday. Afterschool clubs depend on the school, ours is very chilled, with games and little activities - perfect after school downtime.

As a teacher, make sure he is comfortable using the toilet independently- accidents happen - but I have had many children call me to wipe their bottoms- which we obviously cannot do. Dressing themselves, practise putting uniform on, don’t rush to help them if they are struggling. In a school setting, I cannot get round them all quick enough and I can tell which children are dressed at home and which ones dress themselves. There is a short amount of sitting in reception, so call them over to sit with you to play little counting games, draw together, practise writing letters, even card games like snap work!

I wouldn't think about extracurricular things until at least the summer term. I have 5dc, born between February & early August & they were all completely exhausted in the Autumn term & still quite tired in the Spring. By Summer term they were more used to the routine etc.

Parties or a local playground (especially after school if possible) are a good place to meet other parents & caregivers. Even if you can't go often.

And I found getting involved with the parents committee the best thing. I have some wonderful friends from that. And I got to know the teachers that way so any queries were easily sorted out. If they do parent supervised reading, do that so you get to know the kids.

How exciting! I hope you'll soon get a transition timetable from your new school for visits and meetings for parents. We had a couple of sessions of play before the summer holidays and a big picnic as well with the new teacher.

In September they'll probably have a settling in timetable as well

Before then I don't think you need to do anything other than ensure they can do up a zip on a coat, go to the loo, get changed if your school do that for PE as some just go in PE kit and recognise their last first and last name as it'll be written down on their peg etc.

Obviously stock up on name labels for the uniform 🙂

Someone is bound to set up a WhatsApp group for the year/class but in any parent meetings just chat to everyone around you or in September when you drop off/pick up. But expect people just are in a rush. Also volunteer in the PTA as that's a fabulous way of getting to know teachers and other parents.

As a pp said don't be too ambitious with extra curricular stuff, maybe just stick with one or two such as swimming and squirrels as they will be absolutely shattered.

If he's going to be in wrap around, don't bother with anything else quite yet.

You won't necessarily get the same amount of info from school that you might have been getting from nursery about their day, but be prepared for messages about, eg, own-clothes day, specific-colour clothes day, parents-welcome-to-stay mornings, fundraisers. My children started reception at 2 different schools (we moved house) and I was surprised at the last minute nature of many of the messages from both schools. Not exactly helpful, especially for working parents.

The big shock for me was how poor communication from the school was - and a lot of people I know seem to find the same - very short notice for events and PE days etc.

In contrast to other posters, neither of mine were that tired by reception. My one in reception now does after school club three days a week, swimming after school ones a week and another extra curricular on Saturday morning and he is still full of beans!

If he's in nursery 3 full days he should cope with the wrap around care ok, although I found the first couple of weeks they are exhausted just from being in a new environment and learning all the new things. Also could regress a little behaviour wise just from the change in routine.
School staff are so used to this though and really help them settle in, they start off slowly and will just mostly be playing at first and concentrating on settling in.
For preparation I would concentrate on things like getting own shoes and coat on and off, eating with cutlery or making sure they can open lunch bag and food packaging. Knowing how to share and play nicely, being kind to others. Make sure he can go to the toilet independently and wash hands. Staff are there to help but there will be a lot of children so if most can do things themselves it's helpful.
Activities not essential at this age but could help with confidence and meeting new people and making friends.

Hi, my son started Reception last year, it depends on your child really . My eldest found it a tiny bit hard because he didn't want to sit down nd do his work! And my youngest has special needs, he's still not full time . Some children love it don't even feel the transition and some just take some time x

Hopefully the school will have a meeting and/or send out info about what their key priorities for school readiness are. Check what their policy is on Reception kids attending school wraparound care, ours was fine but I know of others where they couldn't go to after school club for the first term of Reception.

My eldest was very tired after school in reception, but it was mental tiredness rather than physical so he acted quite silly/hyper.

Mine started rainbows in reception and it hasn't been a problem. I think you can sign them up to clubs but just don't do too much of it.

The biggest thing you need to prepare your child to do is independence. I think a PP who is a teacher already covered it. Get dressed and undressed for PE. Go to the toilet, including a poo, wipe bottom, and wash hands themselves. Sit at a table and eat school dinners with cutlery. Maybe carry their try for dinner too. Imagine a school day and what your child will need to do, and get them ready for that.

Also, school communications are very different from nursery. Be organised with all the school comms and have a system to note everything down. You don't want to be that parent who forgot the world book day costume or pyjama day.

Also, some school has a very long settling in period. Check with them before sending your notice to withdraw your child from nursery.

I’m sure it’s not too different from nursery, but off the top of my head (may not be the same for every school though).

Have spares of everything.
Label EVERYTHING.
Be prepared for less feedback from staff/teacher.
Your child will be exhausted.
You’ll make mum friends from arranging play dates and the WhatsApp groups
There will be lots of parties.
Lots of mums and dads get very involved in volunteering- bake sales, coffee mornings, organising walks, discos etc. Dip your toe in and out as much as you want to, or not
There were lots of things on during school hours which surprised me - nativity, grandparents day, fashion show, sports day, etc. check ALL the dates at the start of the year on the school calendar

Expect them to be very tired in the first days/weeks, even if they are used to FT nursery.

Also that they will suddenly seem to grow up a lot in the first half term, and will be doing things, learning stuff and meeting people that you will only know about if they tell you - it's one of the more noticeable steps in growing independence (bittersweet, but your job as a parent is to make yourself redundant as they move towards independence)

Most useful things for a reception starter to know:

• going to the loo completely independently, including wiping and flushing; OK with going to unfamiliar loos
• washing and drying hands
• getting in and out of their coat (distinction level - hanging it up)
• if they will have to change for PE then a) getting in and out of all clothing and shoes, and b) leaving what they've taken off in one heap not strewn everywhere
• if school lunches, able to carry a loaded tray and use knife/fork/spoon in conventional ways
• if packed lunch, that they can deal with all the packaging (staff will help, but it takes time if lots of 4 yos need help opening boxes etc)
• can blow own nose and throw away used tissue
• can recognise own name on a nametape/label (or if they really can't, add a symbol)
• follow a simple two-part instruction
• be able to sit still and listen (eg to a story)

Don't worry if they can't do all that at the outset! Most pick it all up v quickly.

Mine did five full days in private nursery from 9 months and then also a year full-time in preschool and was still shattered at first. If yours is the same, it's normal.

Focus on their independence - using the toilet, putting on their coat, putting on their shoes. Make sure they can use their water bottle and that it doesn't spill, and if you're sending snacks or packed lunch make sure they can open all the various bits and bobs.

If there's any children from nursery who will be in the same class, maybe organise a playdate or two so they have a familiar face.

In terms of the parents, join the WhatsApp group (ours is lovely and not like the horror shows you read about on here) and go to all of the very many parties. You will have a party more weekends than not!

It's been a really lovely time for us (eldest nearly finished P2 now, I think that's the equivalent of year one in England).

Teach your child how to put their own jacket on, fasten a zip, pull on shoes (don't buy lacing trainers) hold cutlery, try chunky crayons and child scissors, how to say 'I need help', play nursery rhyme games, read them stories, play preference, blow nose, carry own schoolbag, toilet hygiene, carry and open lunch bag. It will all develop but these things or some of them help!

Really good book about preparing them for school

Starting School by Sarah Ockwell Smith

Mine was tired but wired - not sleepy at all, but behaviour went out the window and he was such hard work the first term. He's with a childminder after school Mon-Thurs so doesn't get home until 6ish. Also nightmares - the first half term it was like having a toddler again with the wake ups 😬 Just very unsettled and a bit sad, tbh. He talked about nursery a lot.

He's settled down now he's towards the end of YR, but is still struggling with the discipline of school compared to nursery and really just wants to play.

And yes, very little communication from school. They seem to expect you to know how everything works already. And a lot of expectation that you're around during the day to read/help with swimming/watch assemblies etc. Schools seem to run on the assumption that every family has a SAHM.

If you need wraparound care, get it booked in now. Ours had extremely limited places and was fully booked when I called the day after our place was confirmed. After school club at ours is the school hall with lots of different activities laid out for different ages, and a TV in the corner with some cushions. All the kids I know who go love it. On light evenings they can play out in the playground too.

I really miss our lovely day nursery, tbh! School feels very impersonal. He does seem to enjoy it though, and is learning well.

Does your child know how to do the coat flip to put it on independently? Lay coat on floor with hood between their feet. Put hands and arms into arm holes, lean over and flip coat over head. Taa daaa!

You will only receive information about your child from the teacher if he hits/bites people.

😂This is so true! 'Can I have a word...'

Good advice here. Re toileting even if he can do everything independently he needs to be able to go in and out alone which a lot of kids find daunting and as a result parents stand outside chatting or watching them go. Try to get out of this habit if you haven't already. Encourage independence as much as you can for coats shoes and lunch box including individual items. Make him carry his own coats and bags and put his own rubbish in the bin, and understand if he drops something he picks it up. I work with pre schoolers and we focus this time of year on getting them school ready. It's frustrating when some parents seem to work against us insisting on carrying the child's bag or putting them in clothing they can't manage themselves. Keep thinking of independence and how would he do this without my help. Also get the supplies early and make sure he is familiar with his pencil case, new books, bags, coat etc.