Does anyone struggle to sleep because of a fear of not sleeping?

[Xenomoth]

Recently I’ve developed a bit of a weird obsession with sleep. I had one terrible, terrible night sleep before work-I felt like I didn’t sleep at all-and since then it seems to have spiralled.

I go to bed every night scared I won’t sleep and that I won’t cope at work the next day. I fear lying there for hours as it’s so miserable. I’ve been taking Nytol too much and it works but turns me into a dry-mouthed zombie the next day. I work in a primary school so lack of sleep/pill hangover is very unpleasant with all the noise and general chaos.

Has anyone faced similar and found anything that works? Fed up of going to bed with my heart pounding and my mind racing. Many herbals supplements online promising the world but I don’t want to waste money.

I was like it when I was younger and DS had a big spell of this too. I used to give him Rescue Remedy to calm him down (I swear by it) and reiterate to him, what is the worst thing that is going to happen if you don't sleep tonight? You'll be tired! That is it! It's like a self fulfilling prophecy as you know yourself, the more you worry, the less you sleep.

My uncles said Rescue Remedy cured his insomnia! I admit I was sceptical as it’s just herbs but perhaps I should try it. It’s certainly a lot cheaper than many of the supplements I see.

It is very much a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s so easy to let thoughts spiral in the middle of the night. I even tell myself I will end up loosing my job and my mind.

I've had this before a lot and tried absolutely everything. The only thing that really worked for me is a bit of a weird one, took some practice but doesn't require medication. So when I get those nights I try to empty my mind. If any thought crosses my mind I try to get rid of it and generally just have an "empty head". It is a kind of meditation I suppose, if successful i just fall fast asleep/literall drop cause im so tired by that point.
OR another thing I do is I tell/literally lie to myself that I don't have to get up in the morning, I can lie in. I try to focus on that and it also helps to relax and ultimately fall asleep.
Other things I do to help with my sleep is I stop drinking caffeine after noon, not even tea. Herbal tea in the evening.
I found for me sleeplessness was stress related for sure, having a ton of responsibilities... maybe try to see to the bottom of it, why it happens. Good luck!

Yes. The thing that works for me is taking 2mg of melatonin before bed. You can buy it online. It's the hormone that makes you feel sleepy and is widely used outside the UK (you need a prescription here). It is just enough to make me feel calm and sleepy at bedtime and it's worn off completely by the time I wake up.

Yeah, I had this when my DC were babies. I was so exhausted but the pressure of getting to sleep in that 3-4 hour window at night before they’d wake to need another feed stopped me actually sleeping.

I was going insane from insomnia and the GP gave me some sleeping tablets. Only about a week’s worth. I took one and got a full night’s sleep (DH dealt with the DC!) and I can’t quite remember now (it was over 10 years ago) but I think that’s all I took because what really helped was just knowing they were there. I could think ‘if I’m still awake in an hour I’ll take a tablet’ and that would take the pressure off.

Thanks, it’s nice to know I’m not alone, it can feel so lonely and isolating in the middle of the night. I feel like the whole world is asleep apart from me. I had thought of trying the Melatonin as it seems to get good reviews. I think what I really need is some mental techniques to stop me stressing about coping at work the next day if I don’t sleep, or to dispel the fear of loosing my mind. Wish I wasn’t such an anxious person!

I have periods like this. The thing that works for me is to have a couple of days completely caffeine free (hard when you're tired, I know!) and it seems to reset my sleep. I am pretty sensitive to caffeine though and can only drink one coffee first thing in the morning on normal days otherwise I don't sleep ☹️

I would struggle with that-it’s the only thing that keeps me going after a sleepless night! I can see the logic behind it though. I don’t drink it after midday anymore after finding out the caffeine is still in your system 10 hours later.

Yes. I had about 6 months of this a few years ago.

what worked.. a self help book on insomnia, learning that the longest someone went without sleep was 11 days and they were fine I.e I stopped worrying that not sleeping was such a big issue, and zopiclone , I didn’t take it after 3 nights as I know it’s stops working but just knowing it was there really helped.

good luck op. It really was an awful time and I still sometimes get the fear it will come back.

Definately zero caffeine. When I had this problem as a child, my mum would say you didn't need to sleep to be rested, just lying in bed was all your body needed to recover for the next day. I still tell myself this when I can't sleep - it doesn't matter because my body is still getting a rest for the next day. It still eases the pressure a bit.

I have periods like this. I try and make sure I'm utterly exhausted at bedtime by doing lots of walking in the day. I take Nytol and read before bed (always makes me sleepy). When I start getting those thoughts about not sleeping I kind of just let them dissolve away. It's hard to explain but I pay them no attention and let the thoughts drift away. I start doing deep belly breathing - so when I breathe in I let my belly expand, rather than my chest. It really works in making me drowsy.

I had this, it was a form of OCD! Sertraline and therapy cured it completely. The obsessive thought that you won't sleep is what stops you sleeping; which then reinforces the belief that you won't sleep and the cycle never bloody ends unless you break it. Best of luck.

Yes, you need to let go of the fear you won’t sleep. Accept you might not, but you will be ok if so. You’ll be tired, but that’s it. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of obsessing about losing your job. Just accept you might not sleep but it will be ok. Then you should relax enough to drop off.

I suffer from exactly the same thing, and have done since my late teens (I am now early 40s). I now have a few coping mechanisms which help when I spiral:

• the first is to realise that this is a form of perfectionism. You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be "perfect" and on top form the following day. Recognise that many people have had a crap nights sleep and you wouldn't necessarily know.
• make sure your bedroom is nice and cool.
• are you able to have an Alexa in your room? If so, try some sleep hypnosis. I use a set by "positive life therapies" on Spotify and they send me and dp to sleep! If I wake in the night I tend to listen to sleep sounds like rain, which tend to lull me into sleep.
• another mind game I sometimes play is to name as many girls/boys names as I can beginning with a certain letter. And time my breathing in mentally saying these names. This tends to slow my breathing down, calm me down, and distract my mind from worrying about not sleeping.

Most importantly is to trust in your body that you can sleep, and that what you're experiencing is a form of performance anxiety. It is a construct of your mind. Remember that those who sleep well don't worry about what time they fall asleep, or how long it takes them, they just trust that they can do it. Allow yourself to accept that you need to let your body and mind decide when you sleep, and not your inner chatter decide!

I was about to say something very similar to @HeadNorth, the most effective thing for me was convincing myself that rest is all that's needed, not sleep. It takes the pressure off and it is true, you can often cope better than you think the next day. I once ran a 10k race with only 1 hr sleep and felt ok. Another mental technique I use is to almost talk to myself, acknowledging the feelings, saying 'ah yes, here is the panic again with the racing heart, I was expecting you!' Or ' hello feeling of doom, its nice to have you back'. It sounds a bit ridiculous but it works for me, accepting all the unpleasant feelings seems to lessen their power and I do sleep much better.

Oh and on some occasions listening to the sound of rainfall or white noise does the trick, lets me just zone out and imagine I'm somewhere else. Not always though!

Some really good tips here. Have decided to try and see a therapist/psychologist in an attempt to try and unpick what is causing all this. Might sound a bit dramatic but I am affected in many areas in my life by my anxious and obsessive thoughts and I’ve just about had enough.

Hi I am going through same thing at the moment have such bad anxiety I am scared of going to bed

@unhappy50 Sorry to hear that, it really is horrible isn’t it. I have another thread over in general health where there are lots of helpful suggestions. I ended up contacting my GP and have been given Citralopram although I’ve not taken it yet as I am worried about the side effects. I would advise contacting your doctor if you are really struggling.

Have you tried Nytol or Piriton? I know they are not a long-term solution but they really help me when I just can’t relax.