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Original poster

Will this help?

6 replies

DrumRollPleeease · 21/04/2024 22:29

I'm currently going through a really tough time. I've got an 18 month old little one, ex and I broke up when he was...well when I was pregnant actually. But we got back together a couple of times, he was on OLD the whole time though, whether we were on or off. He stuck around for the first couple of months after little one was born to "support me", even though me and him weren't together but he was shagging around which still broke my heart as it was meant to be the happiest time of my life.

Just found out that the one he got with when my little one was 2 or 3 months old is pregnant and due in August. He still sees our little one and is a good dad to him. But my heart is absolutely breaking.

Thats the background. I'm just overwhelmed with grief. I've had to give up my job (didn't return after matty leave) as I'm a nurse and my job couldnt be as flexible as i needed them to be. Recently, despute getting in touch with so many jobs which are advertised and asking about fixed days, so many of them want you to be more flexible that I can be. Little one is at nursery 2 days a week but can't get anymore days at present. I work on the nurse bank for now but can only do a couple of shifts a week. Ex does give decent maintenance, so my 1 or 2 shifts a week plus maintenence plus UC and we get by fine.

But because I'm not working much, I've so much time to ruminate over everything snd I feel like I'm drowning in it all. I let friendships slide while I was with him, although i do still have a couple of good friends, but don't have much family.

I've signed up with a PT at the gym, there is a creche there so little one can go there while I work out. I've booked in for counselling starting in a couple of weeks, as on top of the above, I had pretty shitty childhood. Im hoping that these 2 things can help me start to heal a bit.

Has anyone been through anything similar and eventually been happy again? I don't see myself ever being happy, feel like my life will just be one long slog while he's happy with new girlfriend, house and baby on the way.

OP posts:
Original poster
DrumRollPleeease · 21/04/2024 23:09

Bumping....

OP posts:
Problemnumber99 · 21/04/2024 23:22

I'm really sorry you're having a shit time, but it will get better.

I can guarantee his new relationship won't be a bed of roses. Any man that can do that, isn't worth having or being sad over.

I was pregnant when my ex left and I get it, it's horrible. She's 2.5 now and it's so much easier. It's still hard to be the one with all the responsibility, but she's more like a little mate now. Every time she does something funny or sweet I just think how lucky I am, and what he's missed out on.

Just focus on your little team and try to ignore any outside influence that makes you feel shit ❤️

Original poster
DrumRollPleeease · 21/04/2024 23:48

Problemnumber99 · 21/04/2024 23:22

I'm really sorry you're having a shit time, but it will get better.

I can guarantee his new relationship won't be a bed of roses. Any man that can do that, isn't worth having or being sad over.

I was pregnant when my ex left and I get it, it's horrible. She's 2.5 now and it's so much easier. It's still hard to be the one with all the responsibility, but she's more like a little mate now. Every time she does something funny or sweet I just think how lucky I am, and what he's missed out on.

Just focus on your little team and try to ignore any outside influence that makes you feel shit ❤️

Thank you. It is tough, my little one is into absolutely everything, he's wild and I just feel exhausted all the time! It is getting a little better though than it was during the baby days as we can do lots of things together ie days out. But yeah, still tough and I feel like I'm just (barely) existing at the moment! Another pair of hands ie a decent father would be such a weight off my shoulders.

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Original poster
DrumRollPleeease · 22/04/2024 10:28

Has anyone else been through similar and it's gotten better for them/their little one...?

OP posts:
KittyCollar · 22/04/2024 10:36

I left a DV situation when my son was 3. That was early 90s. We stayed with my parents for about 10 months until I found somewhere for us to live. Fast forward and he is now 35, I’ve been married for 26 years and have another son. Both boys are fabulous. Things really can get better. I’m assuming your ex will get some sort of comeuppance. They usually do x

Original poster
DrumRollPleeease · 22/04/2024 11:51

KittyCollar · 22/04/2024 10:36

I left a DV situation when my son was 3. That was early 90s. We stayed with my parents for about 10 months until I found somewhere for us to live. Fast forward and he is now 35, I’ve been married for 26 years and have another son. Both boys are fabulous. Things really can get better. I’m assuming your ex will get some sort of comeuppance. They usually do x

Glad to hear it has worked out for you. Its just so difficult to see any light at the end of the tunnel justnow.

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