Magic Carpets

[Mysterian]

Surely they must be absolutely terrifying to use. Hundreds of metres in the air, travelling at speed, and they don't look that big. If they were 5x5 metres and the edges folded up, maybe, but as they're typically designed and built nowadays, I'm not interested.

Agreed.

Can you imagine a broomstick?! Your whole weight on a rock hard stick digging up your crack and zero left or right to grab onto if you start to slip .... 😮

I can't cross my legs, so I'd never be able to use one anyway.

But I'd love to rub a genie's lamp. Not in a euphemistic way!

Maybe they actually work by rolling you up and launching you like a missile?

Part of the design is that they don't allow you to fall, they pivot to counteract your weight. If you did somehow topple off it would immediately lower altitude and manoeuvre beneath you, flexing inwards to cradle as it catches you

What about bird strikes then? The carpet is cradling as you fly then you get a sudden puffin to the face.

as a kid I used to run round libertys of London persian carpet department and whisper ‘ala Kazam ’ please tell me im not alone!

They're used in climates without puffins. No one is flying all the way to Iceland on one.

My namesake was very funny about them.

I was given morphine for pain after my C-section, just after I had breast fed the nurses assured me that it would be out of my system before next feed, and I was semi dreaming tripping that I was on a smallish magic carpet, it was brill. Not scary at all, I was racing across a cornfield towards a lighthouse in the middle and just before hitting it at speed I shooted up the side.

I would like to point out the carpet was driving.

But it wasn't scary at all it was exhilarating.

But I had been sober for 9 months which may have had an influence on my joy of being hammered.

thinking of carpet burn on my knees

My mum manages her broomstick without issue.

Brooms seem extremely impractical. At least carpets can fit more people and have space for a few bags. But the safely aspect of just being able to fall over the edge is scary.

And what about the weather? Surely most of the time in the UK you'd turn up to your destination drenched? Or do they have carpets with roofs on, like a cross between a magic carpet and a sedan chair?

You're not alone.

I was still silently doing it at about 13 😂

Nah. You ride sidesaddle on a broomstick and lean to steer.

Best ways to fly:

1. Magic carpet
2. Happy thoughts and fairy dust
3. broomsticks
4. Holding a magic feather with your nose

Happy thoughts are pretty hard to come by nowadays. You also need a decent supply of fairy dust which means catching them and 'milking' them for the dust, which might be cruel or something. Research is pretty sketchy.

I say "best way". They're all awful.

God i've been doing it all wrong 🙄😲
<face palm>

You've missed the most reliable method. Fall out of a tree and miss the ground.

I've got a patchytwat mare & a pony so potentially a magic carpet ride would be like flying business class. No vet bills either.

But fairy dust comes from grinding all the teeth that the tooth fairy collects. No fairies are harmed in its production, though the Tooth Fairy is known to be a hard worker.

Be an alien (Superman).

I do look good in a cape. Not so popular now due to the Incredibles film and prog rock.
foiled again by Rick Wakeman

Oh magic carpet schmarpet.

Try clinging on to the back feathers of an eagle as it soars towards the heavens and then swoops suddenly to the ground.

I'm 18 stone. Less swoop more plummet.

Not to mention being utterly waterboarded while clinging to a dolphin's fin.

Don’t get one from M&S, I had to get a refund.