Serious question on how you discipline your 6/7 year olds?

[Accydoodle]

I’m a single mum to 2 young children and I feel like I have lost sight of how to handle things at times.

how do you handle the following situations for 6-7 year olds -

you’ve asked them to put their shoes on 10 times and they only it it then.

they fight with their sibling and be too rough.

they refuse to go upstairs to bed when you ask

you ask them not to jump on the chair and it appears to go in one ear and out the other

do you give consequences for this or just keep remaining them?

With 1 and 3 and 4, I would do it with them. So if they need to get shoes on, bring them to where the shoes are and stand over them while they do it - then leave. with the chair jumping, I’d take the chair away and direct them elsewhere. With bedtime, I’d go up with them. Oh and I don’t ask - I tell.

Fighting I found harder but they grew out of it . I did have to stand between them at times, but only because there are three years between them and the youngest would get flattened.

I give them a warning after 2/3 asks; and then send them to their rooms for time out if they still don’t do as asked. I find the time out works because they generally prefer to be with us/have our attention. When they remember what the actual consequence is, the warning is generally enough to get them doing what’s needed.

Mine tended to respond by the time I got to a stern 2 on a countdown.
Mine have poor executive function so warning them of transitions and what I call "exit mode" helps to prepare them and over many long years, they know that "exit mode" is hair, teeth, socks, shoes if those things are not already done.

Natural consequences tend to be best if that's practical, but that works better by missing time at something like soft play than the dentist.
Other consequences like missing a fixed period of screen time or restricted play options may be needed if natural consequences aren't applicable. Fixed term e.g. 15 minutes is enough to make the point, easy to implement and can be added to incrementally. Going nuclear does not work.

Be firm. Be consistent. It's long term, but hard work while the habits are formed.