Friend looking through my window

[MortalCombat]

We live on the same road as the school that our kids attend. Every few days my friend will walk up to the house after the school run and stare into the window, looking for me. My husband does the school run as I start work at 8.30.

Sometimes I work from home and at other times I go into the office. She knows this but thinks on the days I WFH she's welcome to sit at mine while i'm working :/ i've tried to say nicely that it's a distraction and i'd rather see her on my days off but she says "how is it a distraction if i'm just sitting there?"

It's not only after the school run, last weekend she was doing the same thing around 4pm but we were out with the kids. I am starting to feel uneasy but I don't want to hurt her feelings as she is sensitive. How can I be firm but polite? I don't like her coming uninvited

I am starting to feel uneasy but I don't want to hurt her feelings as she is sensitive. How can I be firm but polite? I don't like her coming uninvited

You can hurt her feelings - she is happy to be inconsiderate towards yours. Don't be drawn into an argument or debate about whether she's being a distraction, just tell her it bothers you.

"Friend, I don't like it when you sit for hours uninvited in my house, distracting me as I'm working; please text and I'll let you know if it's convenient." Either that or close the curtains and lock the door and don't answer it.

Tell her police have been round because your neighbours reported her as a creepy stalker.

Then tell her to bugger off and sit in her own house.

I wouldn't even let her in to begin with tbh 🤷‍♀️ I'd say something along the lines of "hey! I'm busy with work right now, maybe we can catch up some other time? Thanks for checking in though!"

She's not sensitive, if she was she wouldn't be hanging out at yours uninvited. Buy some blinds for your windows. Don't answer the door if you're working.

Don’t let her in the door - if she sees you and comes to the door tell her or mime through the window that you are about to go into a meeting so will catch up later - bye and close the door. You are at work she couldn’t sit in your office so don’t feel rude for turning her away while you are working

Don't let her in. Say you have some important meetings and don't want to distracted and yes, having anyone there is distracting.

Sensitive people are not given to arriving uninvited at people’s houses on weekday mornings when their friend is working from home and has specifically asked them not to. If what you actually mean is ‘Will resent me if I tell her not to’, honestly, OP, grow a pair. The only time this happened when I was WFH, my study window was right next to the front door. I just used to gesture towards my desk to say ‘busy’. Peoole got the message.

She doesn't sound right in the head.
You need to be firm “why are you staring in my house like a weirdo Susan, my neighbours might call the police on you thinking you are a peeping Tom, it's totally batshit behaviour." “Of course you can't sit in my house while I am working. It's not allowed and it makes me uncomfortable. And it's batshit behaviour.“
Letting her do this makes her think it's ok.

but she says "how is it a distraction if i'm just sitting there?"

How bizarre, has she got nothing better to do?!

Get blinds, don’t open the door!

Thanks all. I will use the suggestions and be more firm with her. I have also just ordered a one way mirror film too so hopefully that will give me some more privacy too as it's horrible having her look through and there's no running away as the house is on her way to school. I appreciate all the replies and advice!

@Shinyandnew1 unfortunately not. She doesn't work and has mentioned she's bored all the time and for me not to be surprised if she pops over from time to time, however it's become more and more regular :/ Hopefully with me being more firm this time she will get the message

She needs her own job. How ridiculous.

Didn't you post about this a while ago? I remember an identical situation. I think I would just tell her that you would get the sack if they found out - she can't argue with that. And she needs to get a job.

Yes as above.

Its so easy to tell people you’re working when you are WFH. I have done it countless times. Either I don’t go to the door or I say

“Hi….. yes I’m actually at work right now. Gotta go!

it’s not hard

@determinedtomakethiswork no definitely haven't posted about it before and yes that's a great idea about the sacking thing, i'll mention that today

Thank you once again for the advice everyone

Keep headphones on. When you see her through the window, point at your ears, mouth 'Con call, sorry' and then turn your back on her, focus on your screen and keep talking.

She'll soon get the idea. 🙂

"I'm sorry Sally but I can't have you sitting in my house all day. I'm working and sometimes on calls where confidential information is shared. It's a distraction for me having you there, and if we don't interact then there's no point you being there. If you're bored maybe look into doing some volunteering?"

Her behaviour is not on - what bad manners. I've got film on my windows so I can see out but no-one can see in. Don't put up with it.

You know she isn't sensitive at all, really. She's sensitive to getting her own way.

Don't be polite. I dont go round sitting in other people's houses for absolutely no reason. It's plain weird.

Llklokklkkkkklkklkllklkkkkklkkkkkkkklklklklkkllllllkllkllllllklllllklllklllllkllllllllllllklllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllklllllllllllllllllllllklllklllllllllklkllllllllllklllllllklllllkllllllllllllllllllklklllllllllllllllllllolllkllllllllllolllllllllllllllllllkllllllllllllllkkllllllllllklllllllllllllllllllllkllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllkllllllllllkllllllllkllklllllllllllllklllllkllklllllllllllllklllkllllllllllllllllolllllllllllllllllklllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllklllllllkllllllllklklllllklllllllllkkllllllllllllllllllllolllllllllokllllollkllllllll

My friend used to have one of these before she went back to work when her kids were little. She would invite herself in after the school run for a cuppa and then sit for hours.
I used to have someone who would pop in the afternoon for a visit (which was fine) and then stay all evening until we pushed them out the door as we wanted to go to bed.
The only way they both ended was direct speaking as these people are freeloaders using you or your space as a crutch to their own problems. I'm not an unkind person and I know people get lonely but it's not fair to abuse others space or time.
You have to say no at the doorstep, make up a reason or just say it makes you uncomfortable.
Unfortunately there is often a fall out as you have to be rude to get through! They rely on you being nice.
You could gently suggest she volunteers or finds a part time job if she is lonely/bored.

Tell her to get a job in the kids school, or do some volunteering there x