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Feel guilty reporting my friend to NSPCC.

13 replies

hernameisbecca · 17/04/2024 19:07

I have a friend. Well acquaintance really. We are friends as our boys have been friends since they were 2.
She's been a victim of bad domestic violence. Black eyes, covered in bruises, horrendous arguments in front of their little boy.
Police got called so much by neighbours that they perused a conviction for domestic violence even though my friend refused to give evidence.
He is now not allowed to be around my friend, social services are involved and police and school.
He has supervised access of his son once a week.
I thought things were calming down, but I popped round her house to drop something in and he was there. All cosied up watching a film.
I have reported her to the nspcc. She says they're back together but she's not telling anyone or they'll be in trouble with social services and he'll be arrested.
He has an alcohol and drug problem and I'm absolutely gutted she's secretly taken him back. I feel so on edge knowing their little boy is going to witness all of that again and I'm worried for my friend as she's had 10 years solid or domestic abuse. She says she loves him and she can't be without him.
Have I done the right thing? She's blatantly going to suspect me of reporting her.

OP posts:
Tiddlywinkly · 17/04/2024 19:11

It may end your friendship, but you did the right thing for both your friend and her child, even if she doesn't see it.

Indicateyourintentions · 17/04/2024 19:11

That was a tough call but I think you did the right thing.

hernameisbecca · 17/04/2024 19:13

I've tried to speak to her about it and how much danger they are both in and now she has started saying that he is allowed to move back in now and the police and social services have dropped everything. She's obviously not telling the truth, as why would she say they were back together in secret and then the next day say the police have dropped everything?

OP posts:
SuncreamAndIceCream · 17/04/2024 19:14

Very brave of you OP

No doubt at all you did the right thing by her little boy. He needs to be kept safe from his dad.

WASZPy · 17/04/2024 19:14

You need to call social services, not the NSPCC. It is definitely the right thing to do.

EauNeu · 17/04/2024 19:14

It's not as effective as reporting to SS directly. I've heard here before that nspcc just forward the report to SS but often missing useful details.

hernameisbecca · 17/04/2024 19:14

I did the report anonymously though. I didn't want to give my details to social services.

OP posts:
RogueFemale · 17/04/2024 19:15

Definitely 100% the right thing to do, - but do do as others have said and report to SS direct.

DreadPirateRobots · 17/04/2024 19:16

What do you think the NSPCC are going to do about it? As much as they like to pretend they're a government agency who are intervening to protect children, they're just a charity with no powers in this situation. Call the Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub in your area.

StarlightLime · 17/04/2024 19:16

WASZPy · 17/04/2024 19:14

You need to call social services, not the NSPCC. It is definitely the right thing to do.

This.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 17/04/2024 19:16

Report to the school safeguarding officer, if you won’t go to social services.

Aglassaday · 17/04/2024 19:16

Awww well done OP! sending hugs 🤗
it must’ve been so hard for you and not at all an easy decision but you’re protecting a child here which is one of the bravest things someone can do!

StarlightLime · 17/04/2024 19:19

Aglassaday · 17/04/2024 19:16

Awww well done OP! sending hugs 🤗
it must’ve been so hard for you and not at all an easy decision but you’re protecting a child here which is one of the bravest things someone can do!

She needs to do it properly and inform social services.

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