Hello, I’ve got into a bit of an anxious state and I just need some advice.
I don’t know what to do about a family birthday party/ get-together on Sunday. The family get-together will be a surprise birthday party for grandma and it will be a Sunday lunch/afternoon in a pub.
I don’t live near and I will need to travel to get there (like 3 hours with 2 trains). I don’t drive so will have to take the train. I will then need to to have somebody pick me up from the train station which is about a 30-minute drive from the pub.
I would have ideally liked to go back home on the same day after the party and get the train back from the same station, but that means I will also have to get a family member to drop me back off at the station after the party. I don't know, a part of me feels like this would be too much to ask or expect. I'm not sure what the plans are for after the party or if there are even any as it will be a sunday. What if people want to let loose and relax and not think about having to drive me to a train station? Then again, everybody will have to drive to and from the pub in the first place as its in the middle of nowhere and not walkable from the village where my grandma lives.
Would it look bad of me if i just go for the birthday party in the pub and travel back home on the same day rather than staying on for some days in the week and spending some more time with my family? My parents and sister will also be there... Will it look bad if I'm expecting to be picked up and dropped off at the train station all in the same day? Is it too much to ask? I feel guilty about just going for the day and having to be picked up and dropped off at the train station in the same day. I don’t want to offend anyone or my parents or sister by not spending more time with them. I don’t really have any excuse to go back home because I’m unemployed and have every day free.
To be completely honest, I would like to keep the visit short and sweet as my mental health hasn’t been very good this month and I’m having major relationship struggles. I’m also unemployed and trying to keep motivated. I’ve just about got to a good stable place and I don’t really feel like having a change of scene.
My parents and sister will be at the birthday get-together too and they live on the opposite side of the country to me. They will be driving for 1 hour 30 minutes to get there from where they live on the day of the party.
Since it’s a surprise birthday party, my grandma won’t know about it so I don’t think it’s fair to stay on with her in her house afterwards as she won’t have had any notice, and she might have other plans for the week. I could travel back with my parents to their house after the party and stay with them, but I don’t know what’s wrong with me I’m feeling very sensitive and honestly can’t bear the thought of and don’t feel like being away from my own home and routine, even if just for a few days. I know this sounds silly and it is fair for my boyfriend not to want to come as he has been working all week, but I feel embarrassed that my boyfriend won’t be attending with me, it’s silly but I feel like a bit of a failure. I also attended Christmas at my grandmas alone because my boyfriend was visiting his family. If I did this I wouldn’t know how long to stay at my parents’ house for, a week feels too long, I’m sure that they would want me to stay as long as possible and I don’t want to offend them. I don’t have any excuse to go back home as I’m unemployed.
I could maybe travel to my parents beforehand say on Friday or Saturday and then I can go with them in their car to the party, but what about after the party? Should I travel back to my home on the same day and get the train back home?...
What should I do? I’m sorry if I’m being too honest in this thread. Yes, I know I’m a selfish person but I’ve been through a terrible loss and its made me into one. Please can anybody suggest what they think would be best or what they would do in my situation?