Learning to drive, not enjoying it, need positive stories

[LillyLeaf]

I've done nearly 15 hours with an instructor and I'm really not loving it. I think his expectations are too high and I'm not meeting them. He keeps telling me to be confident but I can't just magic that up. I have a test in June which I'm dreading. If I fail then I'll have to wait another 4/5 months to take another due to the backlog so the pressure is on. I do really need to drive so delaying is not an option. I need positive stories of learning as an adult. Feeling really down about it.

I just passed in Feb and am early 30's. I hated lessons and was not a natural but I was just consistent and turned up every week, 62 hours later I had my test and passed. The key for me was not pressuring myself, just taking each lesson as it came. also you can download the app thing for a tenner to get a closer test date if you needed another test. 10000 percent stick at it you will be so happy you did

Yeah I don't thing the pressure is helping. I would love to be driving in time for the summer holidays. I think I made the mistake in telling my instructor I had lessons and a test when I was 18, so he thinks I'm not a beginner, but I'm 41 now and I haven't retained driving skills from that time.

Even if you had told him that you had previous lesson, any ADI worth their salt would do their own assessment.

June is really too close when you have only had 15 hours. The DVLA recommend 40-60 hours and 20 additional hours in your own car. Are you able to complete all of the manoeuvres? Is confidence the only issue?

Is there any chance you can swap a test with someone? Even a couple of months will be better. This would be more preferable than taking a test and failing as you would be forced to wait 10 days before you could book a new test and then would be subject to wait times again. A lot of ADI’s have links with other instructors in the area and are able to change tests easily.

Swap the test back to September and find a new instructor. One you chat with before and have some kind of a rapport with. I'd look for a woman tbh.
You have to wait 2 months now before you can book a test after a failed attempt.

Download the testi app. Easy to swap

It sounds like you need a new instructor. It's a waste of money to spend it on one that isn't making you feel at ease.

Personally, I absolutely hated my driving lessons. They were better when I swapped instructor, but I hated the entire process. I hated making mistakes, I hated how complicated it all was, and I absolutely despised the actual tests. I failed a few times just because the pressure got to me and I kept making stupid mistakes because of it.

But I adore driving now and I'm so glad I persevered. There's no feeling quite like shutting my car door and being in my little zone with my music blaring, travelling whenever and wherever I want to. The freedom is amazing!

It is definitely only 10 days.

Are you doing manual or automatic? Lots of later drivers find it easier to click by just doing automatic. So many cars are autos these days it really doesn't hinder you unless you drive specific work vehicles.

Financially, it could be a hindrance.

It's not been the case for me so far, I've spent no more on cars than my husband has on his manuals. I needed much fewer sessions to get to grips with manoeuvres as well so even though I think my lessons were a few £ more, it still worked out cheaper.

The main issue is going to be insurance. Add being a new driver to being classed as less skilled due to having an auto only licence, could price someone out entirely.

It depends on how much money the OP has available to throw at the matter.

Try changing your instructor if you can.
Re auto cars, I live in Australia where everyone I know drives autos, it's rare to even find a driving instructor who has a manual for you to learn in. There is no stigma attached to only having an auto driving licence. So when I keep reading in the UK about how manuals are the way to go it doesn't make sense. Sorry not relevant, but auto definitely makes life easier when learning.

My DH only has an automatic licence it’s made little to no difference to his premiums. Your instructor doesn’t sound good or supportive Op - I’d find a new one and definitely consider an automatic to get you driving - much easier to focus on everything around you when you aren’t worrying about gears.

My insurance is the same as my husband's. I've honestly found no difference other than not being able to borrow someone else's manual car.

15 hours is absolutely nothing, give yourself time. June seems quite close! Though you may come on leaps and bounds in the next month.
I absolutely hated learning to drive, it was an endurance test and I hated it all. I used to have to give myself a talking to before the lessons just to get through it. But I did pass and have been happily and safely driving for years now. You will get there

I passed second time 2 weeks ago. I'm 35. I had my lessons on my only day off, Sunday. I didn't look forward to them for that reason only!

My instructor was an absolute godsend! If it wasn't for her, I would have given up after a few lessons. She was a driving instructor, life coach and mum for every lesson. It's so important that you have a good relationship with your instructor.

Don't give up. Change instructor!

I'm an ex driving instructor. I have to say I agree with the posters who say you need a different instructor. You may well be able to achieve test standard by June but with the right instructor for you. I can't see anything in your posts that would indicate you're struggling to drive as such, just a strong feeling you're being put under pressure which in itself is making it harder. Fwiw I had several "older" learners go through the test and pass with no issues, some were within a tight time frame too but applying pressure was certainly something I would not have done, very counter productive! Good luck op keep at it.

I absolutely hated my driving lessons. I was terrified to learn and put it off until I was 24. I was such a nervous learner. And was still pretty nervous for a long time after I passed. But I’m so pleased I persevered. Driving has given me so much independence and I wouldn’t be without my car now. Just keep going, you will get there. 15 hours is nothing really. I was still like a very new driver then. I had absolutely loads of lessons, but I did pass first time. Maybe push the test back so the pressure is off a bit. Definitely keep going though, don’t stop now.

I hated all of my driving lessons and driving for a year or so after I passed my test (at the third attempt). I persevered because I wanted the independence of being able to drive.

A different driving instructor may be the answer, but I think some of us are just not naturally intuitive nor skilled drivers and need more time and practice to feel confident and competent, which I now do.