Moving schools - primary age

[dontforgetme]

I posted this in the parenting section and didn't get any replies. Hoping post here might generate some!

Hi all,

So we are moving house in a couple of weeks and the children will be moving schools. They are y2 and y5. I was just wondering if anyone had any tips or has been through this with similar aged children and some advice for me.

I'm so worried about them, I know kids are resilient, but it's going to be so daunting for them I imagine.

We have had some bullying problems with my y5 child, and I'm just hoping and praying the girls in her new class will be nice and welcoming for her.

My two moved in yr 2 and yr 5 and it was pretty smooth to be honest. They both made a small group of friends quite quickly. The older one found it harder, I think because her friendships were more established, a few tears first morning, younger one strolled in and didn't look back! I let them choose what new uniform they wanted, trousers or skirt, and we shopped for it together, let them get new bags and shoes etc. We had a tea party at our house a couple weeks later with their old friends to say goodbye as it was all quite quick. I haven't encouraged keeping in contact with old friends as it's not feasible long term, but I have facilitated when asked and now they rarely ask as they have their new friends.

Oh thank you so much for your response! Yeah the older one is the one I'm mostly worried about. Not because of leaving her current friendship group as such, but because she is such a sensitive and shy girl. I'm just hoping she opens herself up to making new friends and doesn't shut herself off.

Ours has also been quite quick. 2 weeks in fact! 11 days left to go and to say I'm bricking it would be an understatement!

Thanks for your good advice re taking them shopping and letting them pick uniform etc. They are both due new school shoes so will definitely be taking them to pick some and making it exciting, McDonald's will probable feature!

Mine moved several times. Yr2 and Yr5 were both fine (Yr4 was problematic for both, but there were extra issues with both those moves).

Schools often assign a buddy for the new kids... they were made to feel very welcome.

They may repeat a topic they've already done, but every school dies them slightly differently anyway.

Prioritise finding them new clubs if they have a particular hobby... makes it feel more like home.

Picking out new room accessories helps too. (Esp your Yr5 girl... Great time for a "grown up" bedroom)

When we moved I managed to meet the teacher with my child before starting and she immediately knew who to buddy with and luckily they got on great which made it a really easy transition. This was going into year two in September.

See, my Yr2 is the quieter more sensitive one that I thought would have issues, so I was a bit blindsided when I had to peel the older off me on the first day. You just won't know how it'll go until you're heading towards the door!

make an effort to meet the school mums and sort out play dates , find new clubs, make their room exciting, also allow them to be sad they are missing the old house and friends.

maybe have a new tradition like every Friday after school you pop somewhere local to do something like the park, buy donuts, fish and chips - anything to make the new place seem special

honestly I think if you become friends with the school parents it’s so much easier to get your kids included sooner than they might on their own as mums can suggest various play dates rather than waiting for the kids to do it

Kids that age sail thru normally, they'll only stress if you do. It's teens that are damaged by it not little ones

We moved house twice in 2 years which meant 3 primary schools altogether for my school aged children. They were in Yr2 & Yr6 the first move and then reception, Yr4 and Yr8 the second time round. They settled in so quickly to their new schools and made friends on the first day. Kids aren’t as horrid as we think, I work in their school now and anytime we have a new student the children are so keen to show them around and find out all about them. If there’s a PTA definitely sign up to it. I worried my daughter would suffer the most as she’s really shy and definitely won’t approach people first but they took her under their wing so quickly. They’ve been there just over a year and she’s made such a firm group of friends. Even my teenage son found a friendship group who took him in from his first day in Year 8. His parents evening was glowing with one comment being ‘he’s the most liked boy in our class, he gets on with everyone’ which did make me shed a little tear or two! Good luck with the move! Exciting new memories to be made ♥️

Hopefully their new teacher will help them settle in, they're usually pretty good at picking a nice classmate to take the newbie under their wing! Once they've had a few weeks to settle, encourage them to invite a friend or two home for tea. Try not to let them see your anxiety, if you are calm and positive it will help them to be as well.

My son moved twice quickly at the 3nd of year 4 and then again 8 weeks into year 5 (long story) second time he stood on the middle of the road and refused to walk to school, by the time we got to the gate someone in his class spoke to him and he went off without looking back, came out and went straight to the park with friends. We worry more than them, good luck, yours will be fine

Mine moved in Yr 3 and 4. It took them both a while to find their current friendship groups, but the other children were all kind and allowed them to play. It's been a few years now and they barely remember their old school or friends. The teachers will be great at ensuring they pair them up with kind pupils while they find their feet and make new friends.

Be positive please don't make them aware of your concerns about this. Treat it as an exciting step. Don't presume there will be problems. Hope all goes well for all of your move.