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How can my ND child keep cool in France in June/July?

23 replies

SunshineShower · 16/04/2024 12:21

My son (16) has autism. He struggles with being out of his comfort zone in terms of things like temperature, hunger, tiredness etc. Like as soon as something feels 'wrong' he will obsess about it and make sure everyone else knows (constantly) too. Think - for example - about being in the car for an hour and he's hungry, he will literally complain that he's hungry at regular intervals till you get home even though he knows there's nothing you can do. Obviously we work around it in the ways we can. He never feels cold but often feels too hot. I sometimes go in and he'll have flung open his bedroom windows in January or have a fan on, for example.

He's going on a school trip to the south of France in late June/early July. He really wanted to go and is super excited. We researched and talked about the temperature and talked to the school and explained, but I feel a bit like neither he nor they really understand how unbearable he might find it if he gets hot, especially at night.

Is there anything you can think of that I can do to help? Obviously I'll be far away. When he's here I freeze drinks, give him a cool towl that he can soak and put around his shoulders, he has a fan in his room etc.

OP posts:
DiscontentedWoman · 16/04/2024 12:25

I've got a small USB powered fan/water vapour thing. I'll try and link similar. It's very effective for being pocket-sized

LittleRebelGirl · 16/04/2024 12:26

My son is very similar with being hot all year round. Never wears school jumper, never uses duvet, thin fleecy blanket only. Anyway, last summer what saved him was a neck fan. This was brilliant and helped massively. Definitely recommend getting one and trying it! It was about £13 in b&m if I remember.

TiredArse · 16/04/2024 12:27

A cooling vest?

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DiscontentedWoman · 16/04/2024 12:29

My apologies - no fan but just the spray. When I say "spray" it really is a super-fine mist.

InTheRainOnATrain · 16/04/2024 12:31

Those evian sprays for cooling down? Small personal fan?

Singleandproud · 16/04/2024 12:31

The chances are when he's with his school group hell keep it all in (and save it for you when he returns).
I would look at lightweight travelling clothes from Mountain Warehouse / Craghoppers if not too unfashionable. Other than that there's not much more you can do other than teach him to keep cool and find out what facilities he might have access to like a freezer. Alternatively buy some chemical ice packs he can use (check they are flight safe) which will stay cool for quite a while.

SunshineShower · 16/04/2024 12:35

Wow I've never heard of a cooling vest - that's intriguing! He has a neck fan - do they really help? I thought it was a gimmick tbh. Spray is a good idea. Even just being able to do something helps him a bit as he'll use his spray rather than just feel hot and obsess about that. Light travelling clothes is a good idea too.

I know I need to just let him go (which I am, obviously) and he's a big lad and will manage one way or the other but I just feel that responsibility of knowing his 'needs' better than anyone. Going to be a strange week for me too! (He's been away before but not abroad without us or for quite as long.)

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 16/04/2024 12:36

At night, baggy T-shirts which I soak in cold water help me sleep. Writing down a list of things he can do will also help him remember - sitting the shade wherever possible, closing curtains of accommodation during the day to keep the room cool.

I think you also need to meet with the school again and make sure that the staff who’ll be on the trip are really clear about his needs and how and the extent to which he vocalises them. Frazzled teachers responsible for supervising dozens of teenagers on a foreign school trip are likely to become frustrated and impatient about having one of them complaining repeatedly at regular intervals about being hungry / hot / tired etc despite there being nothing anyone can do about it, which will really spoil the trip for him.

SunshineShower · 16/04/2024 12:37

Singleandproud · 16/04/2024 12:31

The chances are when he's with his school group hell keep it all in (and save it for you when he returns).
I would look at lightweight travelling clothes from Mountain Warehouse / Craghoppers if not too unfashionable. Other than that there's not much more you can do other than teach him to keep cool and find out what facilities he might have access to like a freezer. Alternatively buy some chemical ice packs he can use (check they are flight safe) which will stay cool for quite a while.

You're right - on a residential school trip when he was much younger he definitely kept it together a lot more than I expected and then fell apart an hour or so after he got back. I remember him just howling in the bath. I felt so terrible, but I think overall he did have a good time and wanted to go back another time, when he coped much better overall. Life skills I suppose.

OP posts:
Bassetthoundears · 16/04/2024 12:38

Talk to teachers before he goes if you haven’t done so already. Even if they can’t do anything much at least they will be more understanding if informed. And they may appoint buddies to keep an eye on him.

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 16/04/2024 12:38

Definitely a USB fan, even both a neck one and also a standup one for his hôtel. At the hotel he can dampen the top sheet and sleep under that, and run his head under the shower if he wakes up during the night and is too hot.

For out and about, a hat and/or bandana he can wet and put on his head will help too. It might sound extreme but I get super hot and have done all of these!! Make sure to tell him that drink water even when he's not thirsty too.

SunshineShower · 16/04/2024 12:39

ComtesseDeSpair · 16/04/2024 12:36

At night, baggy T-shirts which I soak in cold water help me sleep. Writing down a list of things he can do will also help him remember - sitting the shade wherever possible, closing curtains of accommodation during the day to keep the room cool.

I think you also need to meet with the school again and make sure that the staff who’ll be on the trip are really clear about his needs and how and the extent to which he vocalises them. Frazzled teachers responsible for supervising dozens of teenagers on a foreign school trip are likely to become frustrated and impatient about having one of them complaining repeatedly at regular intervals about being hungry / hot / tired etc despite there being nothing anyone can do about it, which will really spoil the trip for him.

Thank you - the tshirt/water idea and writing him a list both make perfect sense! That's really helpful. We do have a meeting booked in with the school for straight after the main 'info about the trip' meeting so hopefully we can impress on them what his needs are. I'll probably write them down as well, which is what I did last time he went on a residential. He'll have his phone so I'm expecting a few calls where he'll complain to me about his hunger levels or tiredness or temperature and I definitely won't be able to do a thing about it!

OP posts:
SunshineShower · 16/04/2024 12:40

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 16/04/2024 12:38

Definitely a USB fan, even both a neck one and also a standup one for his hôtel. At the hotel he can dampen the top sheet and sleep under that, and run his head under the shower if he wakes up during the night and is too hot.

For out and about, a hat and/or bandana he can wet and put on his head will help too. It might sound extreme but I get super hot and have done all of these!! Make sure to tell him that drink water even when he's not thirsty too.

Great ideas. Drinking water is an issue - will definitely have to impress on him about making sure he's hydrated. He tends to wait till he's gasping with thirst and then down lots of water, which isn't a good idea.

OP posts:
Flangeosaurus · 16/04/2024 12:46

If he’ll have access to ice cubes I’d get him a chillys style bottle. If he can put some ice in it then fill with water it stays really cold even in hot temperatures

Those kool n soothe strips you can get in B&M are pretty good for helping you feel cooler, perhaps he could have one on while he’s asleep

Gastropod · 16/04/2024 12:53

I'd try and sort out a proper fan for his room at night. Either through the hotel, or just pack one. We brought a small, quiet but strong fan on holiday with us to Italy during the heatwave last year, it packed perfectly well into a normal sized duffle bag.

ghostbusters · 16/04/2024 12:56

https://www.jmldirect.com/chillmax-pillow-cooling-gel-insert-for-all-pillows

I've got one of these but use it at my feet which are always ridiculously hot at night. He could lie on it in bed, or put it under his tshirt if they're having some time out at their accommodation. It's too heavy to carry about in the day.
Sometimes it loses its coolness at night. I give it a shake, turn it over and it's cold again.

Chillmax Pillow

Cooling gel pillow that absorbs body heat

https://www.jmldirect.com/chillmax-pillow-cooling-gel-insert-for-all-pillows

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 16/04/2024 12:58

ghostbusters · 16/04/2024 12:56

https://www.jmldirect.com/chillmax-pillow-cooling-gel-insert-for-all-pillows

I've got one of these but use it at my feet which are always ridiculously hot at night. He could lie on it in bed, or put it under his tshirt if they're having some time out at their accommodation. It's too heavy to carry about in the day.
Sometimes it loses its coolness at night. I give it a shake, turn it over and it's cold again.

Wow, thanks for that! Completely off topic, but I also get very hot feet at night (the rest of me can be freezing, but my feet are boiling) and this looks like just the thing I need.

LakesideInn · 16/04/2024 13:00

I don’t cope well with heat, nor does DS who is also on the spectrum. He tends to get grumpily and fail to help himself though so if your son is the same so encourage him to take action where he can rather than just vocalising!

my own top tip - ensure he has a proper Chilly-type insulated bottle and knows to buy (if possible, perhaps staff can help) some cold bottled water each morning and decant it straight away into the Chilly bottle so he always has cold water with him.

Also pack a big square like a muslin - fold it up like a bandana or scarf, use chilly bottle water to wet it (not soak it, just on the thickest part) then hang around neck or tie round head. Refresh as needed. Was a lifesaver!

ghostbusters · 16/04/2024 13:00

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat you're very welcome!
I'm onto my second one. The gel somehow evaporated out of my first, slowly, over a period of 4 years but for the price I don't mind getting a second one.

Bobbyelvis4ever · 16/04/2024 13:06

I often find drifting off to sleep the hardest part - soaking flannels in cold water then draping over my feet really, really helps. Easy to do in a hotel
room too.

Millersmerkin · 16/04/2024 13:24

amzn.eu/d/9QvsDN4 these cooling towels good and easy to carry/refresh

Millersmerkin · 16/04/2024 13:26

Also could try him on electrolyte tablets to add to water. Various flavours if he can tolerate them will help him stay hydrated

Toastcrumbsinsofa · 16/04/2024 13:43

I also tend to overheat easily. I find that those spray waterbottles hairdressers use to dampen hair are easy to carry around. It doesn’t matter if the water is really cold as a quick spray of tepid water on my face, neck, hands and feet is very effective!

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