Does this sound rude?

[Lilllypad11]

Purchased a new car recently, it’s worth a fair bit and an upgrade from what I had before. I like to keep it private when I get new things purely because I know people can get their backs up when others have nice things. so I just keep quiet and tell no one. It’s just a car after all.

Anyway. I pull into work today and my colleague shouts “is that your car????” So I said “yep” short and sweet. She then says “oh you got a new car. Why?” So my response was “because I have that’s how it works isn’t it?” And we carried on talking about random things on the way in after but as a huge overthinker I now feel I may sound horrid.

You were no ruder than she was - in that context, your response was fair enough!

To add to this when I walked in, they then started telling people I got a new car on my behalf when I didn’t even want anyone to know🙄

You can't hide that you've bought a new car OP when you turn up at work in it! Maybe your colleague likes cars and was just being interested and friendly. I do think your response sounded a bit rude tbh. 'Because that's how it works?!' You could have just said you fancied a new one! You've almost made this into something bigger and more show offy by being rude and not just giving a normal answer.

No it’s mainly the way it was asked. It was a very blunt “WHY” I was like. It’s really not that deep. It’s just a car. But then they started telling people I got a new car when we walked which annoyed me, I usually arrive super early to avoid it.

Reading between the lines you seem awfully pleased by the upgrade and newness of your car.

It's a fine line between other people noticing and playing it cool?

How old was your previous car?
Some of my colleagues upgrade every couple of years and it usually causes some inevitable conversation about money etc but generally lasts a day and people quickly lose interest.

Is this sarcasm idk😂tbh with stuff like this I’m always thankful. Always raised never to brag and just keep things to oneself. To behave otherwise is as per my upbringing, uncouth. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t tell people you have nice things. There’s just ways of doing it. In my world I stay quiet. Remain thankful and stay happy for others. I just hate hate hate being asked or probed about things because I get shy and embarrassed

I think you're worrying waaay too much about this OP. Is it really important? Methinks you protest a bit too much! I think something like 2 million people each year buy a brand new car in the UK so ...

. I don’t protest. It’s more that I’m worried I was rude

First World Problems...?

Just worried about if I sounded rude. Cars irrelevant just forms part of the story.

Maybe a bit blunt op. A lighthearted 'Why not?' might have been better.

I think the other person was rude

Try not to run conversations over and over in your head after the event and panic about what you did or didn’t say.

It sounds as though you carried on talking fairly amicably to your colleague afterwards so in context, it’s fine don’t worry.

If you are very self conscious and hate the attention a new car might cause (for example) then have a couple of prepared replies ready in future: “my car needed upgrading “ or whatever.

A good tip is to change the subject if you’re not comfortable talking about yourself.

I think it’s a mistake to assume you know what others are thinking- it’s quite unlikely everyone “will have their back up” or resent you getting a new car.

I hate going into work with a new haircut if it makes you feel any better. Not sure why 😂

I really can’t understand the drama here, why not just respond to her politely. The other one was done in or something, it was a reasonable question. And to get to work early so people can’t see your car is for me, very odd.

Yes I think you were rude. There are so many less combative ways you could have answered. 'The other one needed too much work' 'it was time for a more reliable one' 'I didn't feel safe in the last one' all boring none braggy responses that also aren't a rude. By getting a bit defensive in your response you actually made yourself sound more braggy. To me you sounded like, I have so much money 'how it works' is I just buy really expensive stuff when I feel like it.

Theres nothing wrong with liking your new, eye-wateringly expensive purchase, and if your colleague was meaning "ooh, nice car" rather than "ewww, you flash fuckwit" then you were rude.

She was rude though wasn't she? On what planet does she have the right to ask you why you got a new car.
Your response was entirely appropriate and not rude.

It might help to level with people more. You could have been honest and said- Oh god I was hoping no one would notice my new car. I hope you don’t think I’m being all flash with my posh motor haha - make a joke of it.

Try not to assume people are thinking badly of you and react defensively X

I think you were a bit rude really.

You could just as easily have said 'Yeah just an upgrade'.

Yes I think that was quite rude, and unnecessarily so. 'I dunno - I just fancied a new car!' would have conveyed the same message but less defensively and rudely. You do sound weirdly prickly about keeping a fairly mundane thing private.

She was very weird asking why you got a new car!

Yeah exactly. It could have been “oh nice car, congrats. Saw that the other day” the why just made me feel like “why do you have x thing for” then announcing it to other staff was like …. But I don’t like attention so why do this pls

I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone congratulate someone on a car. I find that odd.

“How dare she ask why I’ve got a new car?” seems an odd stance to me.

It’s a bit socially clumsy but hardly a deeply personal probing comment which you need to take offence over.

Its likely just making conversation and she expected a reply of “my clutch had gone” or “I reversed into a lamppost at the weekend” or something.

I agree with the majority here- it didn’t necessitate a prickly response. I doubt anyone is that bothered about the car really!

There are more neutral ways to deflect a comment if you don’t like attention.