Granny refers to my daughter as whingy

[Martibum]

Just that really. We don't live close to family so naturally my 3 year old prefers to have me around or my husband.
This is my own mother and although I would face time etc, she only an hour away. On more than one occasion she would cancel visits (both ways) because someone has asked her to do something or go somewhere, so naturally I've pulled back. I'm pregnant again and she's almost insisting on showing up now. I had a brief overnight hospital stay, she kept saying she'll be down but I really didn't want anyone in my space at that time and she landed anyway. She fell asleep on the couch then snapped at my child when her "screaming" woke her up (she was singing/screaming frozen songs at the top of her lungs).
I rang her earlier to let her know DD was with the gp, she then proceed to say how if I was to go anywhere, then all DD would do is whinge for me and she's very whingy and then mimicked her saying "I want mammy" in a childlike voice. This isn't the 1st time she's done this
I've reached the end of my tether. I don't know what she's trying to gain from all this, is it a control thing? Is it jealousy? Do I need therapy? I went upstairs to lie down but her mocking my child is just running around in my head. I really don't know what to do anymore. Over the past while I've pulled her up on her nasty/bitchy comments about people, she overshares things about my cousins/aunts that I don't really need to know. I bought something and on the phone she asked me how much was it, (she was with someone at the time) and i just said it was the price it should be then she rang me again the next day and asked again for the price! I told her she's being nosey but she said she's just being a mammy.
I don't know if I'm just pregnant and dramatic or if I really do need to talk to someone about how all this is making me feel :/

You should have cut her off mid-flow and told her she's whingy, too. We're all different but I personally think once you become a mum you have your own family unit - and that comes first. As a grown adult in the situation you describe, you're giving your mum too much leeway and headspace. You're not a child living at home anymore. So just have an adult conversation with your mum about it, and take things from there depending on if she chooses to continue to upset you, or not.

My own mum had form for similar when DCs were little. She stopped as every single time she started critical, judgmental talk, I'd cut in and tell her she had to go home. & I stuck to that.

Fucks sake show me a 3 year old that isn’t “whingy”. Your mothers a cold cow, what a way to describe your own granddaughter!

@DeeCeeCherry I think I didn't say anything because if I opened my mouth I would've went nuts. (She would describe me as fiesty or drama queen in my youth) and that would've reinforced that description of me (I simply said are you done when she finished her rant).
I'm actually due twins and she said to me that I'm not going to cope and she said the same to my husband. I don't know if she's doing this so I feel like I "need" her or if she has no filter. She would be very of the victim mentality. I used to help her so much but since having my own child, I think I see the huge cracks. I just don't enjoy her company anymore and I feel horrible for even thinking that.

I think I need to say it her when she insults my child again. Just be clear and direct. I can be an animated and emotional person but I know I need to say something in a calm way. I have before but something needs to break

@LoveSandbanks I know, she says something similar about one of my older niece's who simply introverted but I know she wouldn't say it to my sister....

She's got you cornered.

You stand up for your child and she will call you a drama queen, you don't and she's got free reign...
So Free yourself and don't care if she calls you a drama queen, no mum, don't talk about my daughter like that please... Give her a few warnings and if she doesn't listen, freeze her out.

A small child doesn't a deserve it

@RazzleDazzleEm think you hit the nail on the head! I 100% want to stick up for my 3 year old but being called a drama queen or whatever is making me question everything.

Martibum
@DeeCeeCherry I think I didn't say anything because if I opened my mouth I would've went nuts. (She would describe me as fiesty or drama queen in my youth) and that would've reinforced that description of me (I simply said are you done when she finished her rant)

But it still comes down to the same thing - you have your own family unit. That should come 1st. You're not a child living with your mum anymore. & you are a mum now. You're worried about speaking up in case your mum judges you for it, - but she's not worried about upsetting you. Follow some assertiveness classes online, that'll maybe help.

I'd do some research into setting boundaries. Your feelings and health and that of your 3 Yr old trump your Mum's outbursts. It's fine to set boundaries and recognise when you need to stick to them.

@DeeCeeCherry I have never heard of assertion classes, I just done a quick Google. That's probably what I had in mind when I thought I needed therapy, something to unscramble my thoughts before getting my point across. Totally agree, my family unit is very important and I want to protect my peace & energy.

My DM often used to call me a drama queen when I was younger, it was her way of minimising my very valid feelings. She also used to characterise me as oversensitive and humourless, when I'm neither of those things. Tell your DM you're not a kid anymore and your DD's happiness trumps hers.

@ClawdeenWolf funny thing is, I have told her to stop talking about her like that in the past but I was met with an "ooohhh right okay then" and she pretends to go all meek then as if she's afraid of upsetting me and me turning into a DQ 😑