At my wit's end with constant sickness of toddler

[DontknowwhatI]

My toddler is 2.5 years old and constantly sick from nursery bugs. He has been sick this weekend and was very sick in hospital 3 weeks earlier.
I am currently pregnant and hasn't slept for last night him being up and coughing whole night. I am feeling so teary and fed up with constant sickness. It feels like it's never going to end. Also worried about the second child arriving and going to nursery to end up being sick every other day. I feel like giving up work and looking after children but I have worked for over 10 years to build this career and don't want to lose my financial independence. DH does his fair share but is a contractor hence I am the one who takes annual leaves every time when child is sick. I feel like I am constantly drowning and unable to keep on top of things. For my DC's sickness, I blame myself as he was born via C-section and I wasn't able to breastfeed. He missed out on the antibodies which he good had got from breast milk. I don't even know at this point what to do, just feeling overwhelmed with all this constant illness he has been through since last year.
Looking for some advice or kind words.

Could you look at some home-based childcare? Either a nanny, nanny-share or childminder.

Do not blame yourself! You wanted/want the best for your DC and that's all anyone can do. Circumstances are rarely perfect and it's a shame you weren't able to breastfeed when you wanted to, but try to look forward and do the best you can now. Maybe that's feeding him the best quality stuff you can every day, maybe it's just making time for a cuddle on the sofa and rest together. This won't be forever.

Don’t blame the lack of breastfeeding. I breastfed my first and not my second and they’ve both been as sick as each other. One of my friends kids was breastfed and she’s always on antibiotics. It’s a really shit time. Dd is three and has had four courses of antibiotics since January, I think I’ve done at least twenty trips to the gp, walk in centres and the hospital all in since beginning of the year. Tonsillitis, ear infections, random vomiting bugs. It’s relentless. No advice really just sympathy ❤️‍🩹

@Upinthenightagain sorry to hear about your DD's sickness, hope it gets easier for you soon, sending best wishes 💐 I can feel your pain, we have been constantly in and out of doctors surgery and hospital.
@NuffSaidSam @CharlotteCollinsneeLucas thanks for your advice and kind words. I am looking into the option of having a nanny 2 days a week so we can use the free hours she started getting recently.

For my DC's sickness, I blame myself as he was born via C-section and I wasn't able to breastfeed. He missed out on the antibodies which he good had got from breast milk. I don't even know at this point what to do, just feeling overwhelmed with all this constant illness he has been through since last year.

Please don't blame this reason! DD was breastfed for 2 years and I was absolutely broken by the amount of bugs she caught during nursery. The endless illnesses (and related unpredictability such as failing at work, missing deadlines, cancelling plans) took me to a place darker than PND to be honest.

I think it's just an incredibly shitty, difficult phase of raising kids that absolutely nobody really warns you about. The difference is that all parents have different benchmarks on how sick their kids needs to be to keep them home, or leave them in the care of someone else. Some parents aren't bothered at all because they just dump their sick kids into nursery and go about their merry way. If DD is ill and wants me then I can't bear to leave her or force her to go to nursery. So I still end up not being able to work even though we have a FT nursery spot and babysitters/grandparents as backup.

People will try to tell you it gets better, or you can somehow work around the illnesses but that's all bullshit. You need to accept they will get ill all the time, due to absolutely no fault of yours, and you have to do whatever is within your control to avoid adding further stress to your own life. This might involve reducing hours at work, taking on less projects with urgent deadlines or changing jobs altogether with a break in between. It's drastic, but it's for your own mental health and well-being of your children.

Based on our experience, the situation starts to improve (albeit quite slowly) after the second year. They will still get sick every 3-4 weeks but the symptoms get increasingly milder. I was originally hoping to work FT when DD went to nursery but that was physically impossible due to the amount of illnesses she got and also passed to me. I'm self employed so I was forced to cut back on projects & hours to the absolute minimum. It's ok as I wouldn't have wanted it another way but it's been a humbling experience.