TW weight loss and laxatives

[NeedToBeStrongStepAway]

I'll start by saying many years ago i abused laxatives. If i ate anything ' bad' ie Chocolate, cake or whatever i would take laxatives.
I lost 3st in a fairly short space of time.
Size 16 to a 10.
I met my now dh and managed to stop as i didn't want him to be put off by it.

Im back to a 16. Have been calorie counting 1500 a day ( was eating prob 3000) more excercise mostly walking between 10k and 15k steps, due to other issues i cant face a gym or anything.

Ive literally only lost 5lb in 6 weeks.

Today i went in asda and picked up laxatives. But something made me put them back. It stated not for weigh loss. Which i obviously knew. But seeing it in black and white made me stop and think. HOWEVER im sort of regretting it. Im so desperate to lose a stone before summer.
I hate myself so much. Dh is always giving compliments says i could be a size 8 or a 28 it wouldn't matter to him.
Ive got the body i have due to having dcs etc. But i can't help but feel if i used them for a month it would help because it did previously.

I KNOW IT IS STUPID. Im just at my lowest.

I have upped protein loads, much less chocolate a small bar only compared to the big £2/3 bar daily!
No cakes at all.

Don't know why im posting but im just lost

It won’t help really though, any weight you lose is just water, which is quickly replenished.
You did great putting them back, so well done, it’s a bit of an ordeal to go through (diarrhoea) just to have a load of water, rather than fat, pour out of your body.

Using laxatives for weight loss is not safe or effective. If a person weighs less after taking laxatives, this is likely to be due to water loss. Water loss from laxative use is temporary and is not the same as losing body fat. Laxatives do not reduce body weight in the long term
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325892#:~:text=Summary-,Using%20laxatives%20for%20weight%20loss%20is%20not%20safe%20or%20effective,weight%20in%20the%20long%20term.

You have done great to reduce calories, cut back on the chocolate and avoid cakes and 5lb is a great start. Consistency is key, hang on in there if you want to lose weight BUT work on being kinder to yourself.

As someone that has suffered from disordered eating most of my adult life, I’d suggest you try the fast800 diet for 12 weeks. Created by Michael mosely, there is a book and an app. 5lb in 6 weeks is good weight loss, but you sound like me and need to see quick results- this diet achieves that. I lost 3 stone in 16 weeks last year, it’s incredible. Laxatives are not the way forward.