Can we talk about soundproofing? And how to raise it with neighbour?

[FreakInTheSheets]

Hello

My bedroom backs onto the bedroom in the flat next to mine. Old building and I thought the walls were pretty decent but it does appear sound travels.

I've been lucky for years with just elderly folk in there but now there's a single woman in there in her 30s (no kids). She has a long distance relationship but the guy came to stay last year and although they weren't ridiculously loud or OTT, just normal sex noises, it's not very nice to be woken up by. I actually felt like there was a man in bed with me and it was quite upsetting due to my history so I really can't just "put up" with the noise.

She tells me he will be staying for a few weeks this summer and then moving in by the end of the year.

How do I raise with her the subject of soundproofing? Is this likely to be effective? Do both sides need done or just one? Likely cost? And who pays? Is there some other solution? Do I just start playing loud music when they're at it and hope they get the hint? Not sure earplugs are really going to cut it.

Each of us has 2 bedrooms but I can't swap mine over due to certain work equipment which only fits in the other room. Maybe I could suggest she swaps hers over? She has mentioned her plans to have a baby though so I wouldn't want the baby noises instead of the sex noises!

I wish I had enough money to buy detached and rural!!

Thanks

I think some of these responses are from people who have never had to live hearing constant sound from neighbours.

Agree

Sadly, I looked into it (flats) and was told if the build is poor, wall soundproofing is unlikely to make a difference that makes the cost worth it.

sorry OP. You might have more to spend though.

I've had a room soundproofed with acoustic plasterboard filled with soundproof rock wool. It's the rock wool that does it apparently. It was £1400. It has really worked, I can't hear a thing.

Bear in mind though that sound can also travel.along the joists in a flat.

She probably doesn't realise that the sound is travelling. So for that reason alone I'd put a note through her door first of all, saying you're sorry to bring it up but it's a bit uncomfortable to listen to. Then if it carries on, look into soundproofing but it's not always cheap to do. We put in a false wall in our old semi detached house and stuffed the cavity with insulation. Took about 4" off the room? It muffled the sound but didn't stop it coming through (other side was a noisy teenager who was nocturnal). We ended up moving as when I fell pregnant with our 2nd, I knew I'd have to put one of the kids in there. Was bloody annoying, we loved that house apart from the fecking neighbour. Didn't help that the Mum worked shifts so the kids were often home alone all evening/night. Revenge was sweet though, we sold to a man who was renting to students.

I've soundproofed 2 homes now! I sound proofed my favourite house because of noisy neighbors and I've done the wall between the bedrooms here (the walls are just plasterboard here). It's very effective!

I've gone for the blue soundproofing boards this time and just had them screwed on. It then needs plastering.

Ideally though soundproofing should be on the side where the noise is coming from but you can't ask her to do that. You could also move your bed to the opposite wall.

Sound travels through walls and along joists so you will be getting sound coming through the wall, floor and ceiling.

What do you have on your floor just now? Good quality underlay or soundproof matting and carpet should help muffle the sound.

The wall, you could try acoustic panels.

The ceiling is tricker I guess so I would do the walls and floor first and see if it muffles it enough for you.

Who pays? Sorry to say, but you pay.

Not sure earplugs are really going to cut it.

Earplugs work well, but you can't wear every night just incase your ndn happen to be in a romantic mood, but you could have some to hand if woken and don't want to keep hearing them.

I had this with next door for quite a while. I hated the thought of my kids hearing it but no way I would confront. We put the theme tune to Fraggle Rock on very loud every time we heard them, it soon stopped. Bet it put her right off 🤣

Move your bed to the other wall, lay carpet with decent underlay and build floor to ceiling wardrobes on the party wall with an extra layer of plasterboard behind (and whatever else the builder recommends).

She’s not making excessive noise, you can’t ask her to pay when it’s primarily your issue and tbh mentioning it at all is just going to be awkward AF. I wouldn’t. Just do the work as needed for you to be able to enjoy your flat.

Did you do ceilings by any chance?

I had the same issue in my old house (well different noises as they were elderly) but the back to back wall arrangement.

I spent about £3k, but it only muffled the noise a bit, used up about 3 inches of the room.

It is very hard to perfectly soundproof a room as sound also travels through the joists. Of course, the more you spend and the more room you are prepared to lose, the better it will be.

Our next door neighbour is a gobshite as it were. Basically, he is very noisy and irritating as are the two big clumsy dogs they have. We don’t hear his wife or daughters just him. We have no choice but to put up with it.

OP surely you realise the problem lies with you and if you want to move bedrooms, install and pay for soundproofing that is up to you but unless you want World War 3 with next door neighbours you can’t directly ask or realistically expect them to reorganise either their flat, living arrangements or pay for soundproofing etc.

Seek professional advice in your area on soundproofing but otherwise I wouldn’t say anything.