Earrings ... how do I keep them in?

[OriginalGriff]

This may sound silly, but ... I'm 65, and my wife of 35 years passed away last October - when she passed, she was wearing her favourite earrings - a pair of studs I had made for her a few years back to match her ruby-and-diamond engagement ring.
After the funeral, I had my right ear pierced so that I could wear one of them, and have a piece of her with me always - I take it out to have a shower so it doesn't get caught in my long hair and lost down the drain, but that's it.
This morning I woke up and reached to touch the earring and ... it wasn't there. The back was, lightly stuck to my ear, but the stud wasn't. I moved as slowly and carefully as possible (I didn't want to knock it and turn it into a cat toy) and searched around the bed, on the bed, and finally in the bed and fortunately found it lying there on her side. The back is still tight, so I have no idea how it came out.
I'd be devastated if I lost it, but I want to wear it - so can anyone suggest a way to ensure it doesn't come out again?

Do you have the butterfly back on the ear ring?? Or can you get it turned into one with a longer hook so it dangles a bit??? Sorry can't send photos/pics of what I'm thinking

I have this issue with the metal butterfly backs. So I went on amazon and bought a bag of the the plastic ‘bell shaped’ backs. Claire’s also sell them. They are tighter than metal ones although I do find that every four or five years one of the plastic backs become loose. But I find that an acceptable failure rate.

Hope you find an acceptable solution for a lovely keepsake idea.

https://amzn.eu/d/5sCInYY

Yes the bell shaped rubber backs would be a great thing to try. Sorry about your wife, xx

I have a pair of earrings with screw-in butterflies - they never come out accidentally. We had to have them specially adapted but it wasn’t expensive.

If you find a working jeweller, you may be able to have the backs changed to screw backs. More of a fiddle to do up but very secure.

This is such a lovely act. So sorry for your loss.

You need these. They’re the dogs’ bollocks.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pairs-Secure-locking-earring-backs/dp/B00B4AC5LM/ref=asc_df_B00B4AC5LM/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=239446546937&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15574430792557961508&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046701&hvtargid=pla-450514050427&mcid=44f1b6f9dddf344db216abad67d7fd64&th=1

Yes to the suggestions above of putting a bell shaped plastic stud on behind the butterfly part.

I'm sorry for your loss. The earring is a beautiful way to keep her with you.

Short term possible solution- when you buy a new pack of earrings with butterfly backs they often have the wee rubbery ends on them. I'm a chronic loser of butterflies and then earrings but I've found that by keeping the wee rubber bits and putting them on behind the butterfly keeps them on a bit better. It's a beautiful thing you are doing and I'm very sorry for your loss.

Also, no need to take in and out for a shower (once fully secured). If I'm wearing studs or even small sleepers I never do.

I'm sorry for your loss. What a lovely thing to keep your wife close to you

Sometimes, even though butterflies feel really tight and secure, they just haven't properly engaged with the earring. They can be scew whiff if you know what I mean. I also wouldn't take the earring out to shower. I've had pierced ears for 50 years and I never do, I also have very long hair.

My hearfelt sympathies on the loss of your wife. What you are doing is lovely.

I'd take it out at night. I never wear my earrings at night, as the post sticks into my head. I put them in as soon as I've had a shower in the mornings.

I can't find any way to edit my original message to say thank you to everybody for their kind words and suggestions, so I'm posting this as a separate message.

I'm going to buy some the rubber / plastic backs you suggested, and I'm waiting for the jeweler that created the earrings for me to get back to me about converting them to screw backs (which seems a better long term strategy).

Thank you all for your help!