What life skills did you teach your DC for Uni?

[PocketRocketScience]

Posting here for more traffic.
DC going to uni this Sept. I was looking on his Uni’s accommodation website and there was a quote from a student saying something along the lines of; before I came here I’d never cooked, cleaned, ironed, shopped or washed any clothes. Now I can!

It got me thinking about whether I should teach some of these skills, or just let them get on with it?

My DC can both cook and bake really, really well so that’s a good start. I’ve also seen them clean their rooms to a sparkling level when their GF’s come round.

I need to teach eldest to wash and dry clothes, and iron. I’m a bit concerned about finances after they told me they’ll just go to M&S, so perhaps some shopping skills might be a good idea.

What skills did you impart to your uni child, or is it best to just let them get on with it?

Do kids who don't go to uni not also need to learn this stuff?

How to cook 7 basic meals. How to do laundry including how often sheets and towels need washing. How to iron a shirt. How to vacuum. How to clean a loo and bathroom. How to do a basic kitchen clean. How to do a basic budget.

Might be worth thinking about using trains and buses if they aren't used to public transport.
And some first aid basics (cuts, burns etc).

I taught my kids to iron when they started year 7 but it wasn’t until about year 10 that they started to iron their going out clothes.

I’m a single parent and we are in a family routine of people cooking lunch when they are hungry so they are used to cooking leftovers, wraps and other simple lunches. They now understand why I moan about choosing what to cook.

If you know how much their accommodation costs, you can work out how much they will have per week for food etc It will be worth getting them to think about how to make them favorite meals cheaper (no fillet steak on a student budget) and showing them how much things are at the nearest supermarket to their halls versus m and s. My dd lives near an ALDI and her local M&S do Too Good To Go bags which she occasionally gets.

The hardest part of teaching laundry was getting my son to think ahead eg if he wants to wear a certain hoodie tomorrow then he should wash it today and getting him to set an alarm on his phone to remind him to take the washing out of the machine.

Basic self care as DC will be shocked to finally realise how much is done for them by parents when they go solo. Also think about having a conversation about how it won't be like home, meaning, lots of people with lots of shared history and community. It can be lonely. Odd friendships at Uni can form deeply between people without a lot in common, just because they've been thrown together by housing assignments, that then burn out (but seem really significant at the time). Worth reassuring DC that in first year, it's best to get out and about join clubs and find people that they really like, not just the first people they meet in freshers week. Tell them to make an effort with their old friends as well, because it's easy to lose contact with old friends once you set sail for a Uni town/city.

My message below, basically what I wished someone had told me in 1999 😅. And also all the things I didn't do and have spent the last 25 years wishing I had done.

DC is fine with public transport. They commute 1 hour each day there and back into our city centre for school, and they also commute into London to do things alone and with friends.

Budgeting - both long term and short term. Most students don’t have enough income to save but you can still discuss the ideal eg the 50:30:20 model is a good basis. Remember they will need to budget for rental deposits and paying rent up front before they get their second year finance.
Cooking, meal planning (it’s much trickier planning for one person without food wastage), cleaning (especially the correct products for different jobs and not mixing them), laundry (don’t forget stain removal), ironing are all pretty obvious.
Basic DIY and house maintenance stuff when they move into shared houses eg how to reset the fusebox, bleed radiators, repressure the boiler, set a thermostat/timer, admin things like opening utilities accounts, take meter readings etc

How to advocate for herself, how to speak up and be heard. Obviously your boy may not need this but my DD was already good ‘practically’ she just needed confidence (she’s autistic).

I didn’t really do anything with my son until after the exams, except cooking the Sunday roast. I thought they have enough on their plate until then, and then they gave a long summer they can get up to speed.

However, one one of the best things we did was get him todo an online excel course, which we paid for (wasn’t expensive). It’s a tool they don’t routinely get taught but has proved invaluable. May not be so useful if studying art history, but definantly essential for any business type course.

We're not teaching or boys to cook, clean, do laundry, manage money etc, for uni . These are skills for LIFE, whether you progress to higher education or not.

Food hygiene.
Dd soon insisted her uni friends filled a bowl with warm, soapy water before handling raw meat so they could wash their hands afterwards.

All good advice, especially the loneliness. I suspect that a lot of young adult anxiety and depression is not recognising these natural emotions.

Thus post has also reminded me of advice given to my six form cohort by ex-pupils. Those who have a good social life and good group of friends at home can find it difficult to start again. Conversely, those who didn’t quite fit in, can start afresh and develop a new life for yourself. You see many school ‘misfits’ bloom at university because of this.

Both my DDs could cook and put on a wash. Both were expert hangers out of washing on a line, but they haven't had the pleasure of outdoor drying space very much.

DD2 uses Monzo to help her budget. She pays for her accommodation as soon as her money comes in (used to be student loan, now it's us) then divides the rest by the number of weeks. She transfers her weekly amount to her Monzo card then can only spend that. It works really well for her but she is very disciplined.

None. Our boys were cooking and washing and drying clothes for years before they went to uni.

Our youngest does often end up being the one that cooks his house a Sunday roast or an occasion meal. It appears the 6 people he lives with are pretty clueless.

Change a light bulb
Read meters
Change a fuse
Storing important documents/bills/filling system
Fuse box
1st aid kit & basics for treating cuts/burns
Safe food storage
Sorting a doc/dentist
Maybe a wall calander with bin days etc

Appreciate not all of these can be done before moving in, just off the top of my head.

Nothing.
They all did their share of domestic tasks at home so apart from doing their own shopping there wasn't much to learn really. I would think that most young people who are bright enough to be doing a degree can follow a recipe and figure out the instructions on a washing machine anyway.

Teach how to cook for one, it's very different than cooking for a family and with reduced storage space, they can't easily keep leftovers/freeze a lot so buying the biggest packs of rice doesn't really work unless he can store in his room.

We started a savings account with DD, topped up her monthly pocket money and she set up a standing order to move the top up amount straight into a savings account. So there will be always some money available and she also set herself a reminder at the end of the month to move some of the left over funds as well.

Budgeting - spreadsheets with fixed expenses like bus fare, bills you don't cover, start with a food budget and a social one. Make a note to review. by December to see if it was realistic.

How to get hair out of the shower plug!! That fire alarms have batteries too and how to change a battery should it start to beep continuously!
how to read the label on clothes.
a meal plan that uses similar ingredients to prevent waste when cooking for one.
how to get the hair out of the hoover roller.
That dishwasher’s need salt and rinse aid
All questions we had in the first year! She doesn’t iron either.
best advice we had was to have a door stop in halls in the first few weeks, DD had her door open a fair amount and met loads of people in her flat that way and settled really well.

If I had another going to uni, I’d insist they register with a GP. Neither of mine have bothered to do this and it’s down to pure luck that they haven’t needed one.

Why do you have to teach an 18 yr old to wash clothes? Don't they do their own by now?

Most unis have virtual tours of halls available online. Assume kitchen cupboard and freezer space will be minimal, especially if in catered accommodation . Likewise cooking facilities can vary from kettle/microwave to full size hob/oven. Bedding may be single, may be small double or full size double so don't buy too early.

Why should one person in the house wash their clothes separately? That's a waste of water and energy.

Clothes are all bunged together by colour and when dry sorted by person and everyone puts theirs away, I may do DH's as we share a wardrobe.

How to plan a few meals and shop economically and adapt recipes to what you have.

Planning meals for one & buying the food at the supermarket, whilst keeping in mind limited storage/fridge space.

Washing & drying clothes, bed linen & towels (Inc how often this should be done).

Reading bus/train timetables & using public transport.

Surviving on a budget.

Registering with local GP & dentist. Knowing how to reorder any repeat medication & paying for this.

Having or obtaining a spare pair of glasses if worn.

Getting set up with buying a desktop computer or laptop.