CF allotment thief part 2: the Battle of Barbara and the Beansprouts

[YaMuvva]

Hi all, sorry I didn’t get a chance to post the link to this in the last thread, but it filled up too quickly.

So, another update

DH and I sat and had a looooong talk last night. We poured over every option, the pro’s and cons and the best and worst case scenarios. We thought of every possible situation that could arise from each option and we made a decision this morning.

it was actually the best/worst case scenario talk that clinched it.
Best case scenario for selling it to her was we get a little bit of money. Worst case is we have no allotment and the house possibly devalues.

Best case scenario for if we shared the land is that she is a pleasant plot neighbour and isn’t bitter that we are on the land that used to be ‘hers’ and doesn’t try to boss us about. But worst case scenario is that she remains bitter and makes our lives hell, interferes and our allotment space becomes an unbearable place to be.

Best case scenario for if we keep it to ourselves is we have the enjoyment of a long awaited allotment, one that makes a massive difference to DH’s MH and our general life enjoyment. Worst case scenario is that we make a neighbour - who is smart enough to find another plot or use her own generous garden - cross.

We figured that the worst case scenarios for all 3 weren’t worth risking the absolute best case scenario could bring.

So we are kicking her off.

We discussed letting her wait some months before making her leave or until the end of the growing season around about the end of September. But that when you consider the weather, that would mean we wouldn’t truly be able to enjoy the allotment in good weather for a whole year. I know it can still be enjoyed in horrible weather but the thought of missing out on a whole entire summer of gardening, relaxing and recuperating just feels too long. She has also indicated she will fight us - well she can try and she won’t win so I’d rather the ‘fight’ was a short one not a long one

We went to the plot this morning (no Babs in sight!) and took a soil test, took pictures, used that app to mark the plots (thanks to PP for the tips), and measured it and took pictures of the measurements/readings. From what we can tell she has root veg, fruit and a little herb garden patch, all growing fairly well considering the time of year. We didn’t disturb anything

Going to call the home insurers today to see if we can get legal cover and reclaim costs from the previous owner so solicitors can write her a letter - if not we will just instruct our current solicitors and make the reclaim too. I know we could do a letter ourselves but I really think a legal middle man would be worth the money. We will take solicitors advice on how much notice to give her - but it won’t be long notice. No point, may as well rip the plaster off now. We won’t be offering to buy the shed as I don’t want to be beholden to Barbara or have her make out to others that we stole the shed. We want a clean slate, to pick our own items.

I do feel bad that Barbara will be losing something that is so dear to her and that her ‘sanctuary’ will be taken away but the bottom line is it does not belong to her and she has known this for 10 years. She could have spent that 10 years, or even just the nine months since the house went on the market, to find another sanctuary. We are being selfish, we have been through unimaginable struggles and it’s time to just live for ourselves not a random neighbour. If that makes us a pariah in the community I can take it.

DH also messaged our police officer friend of ours this morning who said if the time comes to bin her stuff and dismantle the shed to call 101 and tell them “We are doing this, it’s our property and we will handle everything with care and bring it to her home” and then if she calls them saying we are stealing or damaging our property then we are one step ahead at least.

Richard Armitage or Mark Addy... Oh Mark Addy and Jodie Whittaker in the lead roles.

Maybe,it's still not her land though.

Well, of course you have every right to use your land and evict Barbara. But, whilst you can't avoid pissing her off by reclaiming your own land, it would be wise to try resolve this as amicably as possible. Mumsnet is full of threads about not getting on with the neighbours and what a PITA that can be, and that sounds to me like something you can do without.

I can almost smell the BAFTA.

It being based in the North means it's a sure fire hit. Otherwise you'd have a cast of Daniel Mays and Rosamund Pike with Emma Thompson as the eccentric Babs.

Aye. On the other thread, I mentioned having to clear out the sheds, etc of the house I sold.

I'll not go into all the details, but - because of family illness - the house was empty for some time.

I discovered that the NDN were using our patio...Menthol cigarette ends and beer cans were all over the place. I think they'd used it for a barbecue at one point.

I had quite a bit of bother before I got the place sold. They eventually backed off after I had words with the wife. Being nice hadn't worked.* (To add insult to injury, they'd started dumping their rubbish and nicking the bins.)

• I also mentioned to one or two neighbours that a package from a firm called something like "Exotic Nights" had been dumped in the garden. It had been filled with rubbish, but still had the wife's name and address on it. Absolutely true.

I'm not so sure about that. She's only in her 60s - she's not addled. If she owns her own house, she knows about title deeds.

That’s where I lived until recently.

I’m now trying to narrow down which town I think this is 😂

Anyway. This means I live close enough to be able to come to the party.

Really? I mean REALLY? facepalm

OP and her DH spent a lot of money buying the house which happens to come with a garage AND an allotment. But you think they should spend MORE money so CF Barbara doesn't feel upset or sad?

Gee, maybe Babs could go buy an allotment and let the OWNERS have theirs back! FFS!

Haha

Plot twist. This could be an Aardman animation!

I LOVE this idea. They do such excellent baddies

Sarah Lancashire is 59. What if she plays Barbara?

I mean it’s the TV industry which means my character will be played by a 20yo up and coming actress and DH will be played by someone much better looking and taller than him. Seller Sally and Barbara are both over 40 so will be played as doddery old eccentric women.

Yes the person who plays your dh will be slightly more than twice the age of the one who plays you.

Ok, this is too much. Fair enough that you are entitled to the land and therefore entitled to piss off as many people as is necessary to get it back but the fact that you see yourself as more entitled to the harvest than the person who planted and nurtured the current crops and hope nothing gets ‘creamed off’ is at best cold. You’ve lost any sympathy from me, not that you’ll care.

they're not after the harvest, they are concerned that they have the dimensions of the plot correct, and that once Barbara leaves she won't salt the whole site or whatever.

It’s ‘too much’ to inspect our own land?

As I said in my OP we did not disturb anything in the allotment except a bit of soil.

Yes exactly this. I don’t want her harvest at all.

Can't believe all the posters who've made up their minds poor Barbara must be recently widowed/depressed/the plot is the only thing she has that makes her life worthwhile therefore op should just give her the land. 😅 I'd give 30 days written notice to Babzilla/Plotzilla to get her property off of/vacate your land. This is completely reasonable imo.

This is definitely going to make the papers. Might I suggest some film titles?

Allotment of Greed

Cultivating Evil

Plot Twist

#Babsmustgo could be trending!

Sorry can’t remember the name of the poster who came up with that - brilliant 😂

My money is on this too.

Sean Bean has to play the northern DH. He can use his best “bastards” on Barb