Page 2 | New driver - parental controls

rosao · 12/04/2024 10:38

Surely you just risk him driving uninsured if there was a product that only covers specified journeys? I doubt this exists anyway as how would it work with road closures and diversions...

Rosesanddaisies1 · 12/04/2024 10:39

if you don't trust him, don't let him drive your car. Plus it doesn't exist.

fieldsofbutterflies · 12/04/2024 11:02

Why are you letting him drive your car if you don't trust him?

rainbowunicorn · 12/04/2024 11:07

There is obviously a huge back story here so if you dont trust him don't let him drive the car. It really is that simple. He can get a job and save for his own car and insurance.

jannier · 12/04/2024 11:15

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 08:59

DS has just passed his test. As well as the minefield / expense of getting him insurance I was wondering if any providers have a parental control setting that will only allow him to be insured for journeys we have approved. Google not helping me out.

Nobody would agree to this surely what are you trying to control for god sake. Black box insurance covers speed and time of night. Where he goes is nuts why don't you trust him?

Nottodaty · 12/04/2024 11:19

If you have these concerns are you sure he is responsible enough to be driving the car?

With my daughter when she passed they really excited to go out and the freedom and independence it gives them! We had rules and the car was in our name, if we felt she broke or couldn’t be trusted then we would have removed the keys - but eventually we moved the car into her name and insurance - as she proved she could be trusted.

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/04/2024 11:20

Why don’t you trust him? If he’s passed, a qualified person considers him to be good enough.

Hoppinggreen · 12/04/2024 11:22

I imagine there is a back story here but even so if you dont trust your son not to take the car without permission or take it to places you would rather he didnt then I would suggest not letting him use it at all.
If he is as irresponsible as you suggest will the car not being insured really bother him?

Original poster

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 11:35

More drama on this thread than I’d anticipated. As I said not a case of controlling where he’d be going. But more a transition / additional guard rails based on a number of things I am not going to disclose.

Not a major back story and not a case of not trusting him at all.

OP posts:

goldenretrievermum5 · 12/04/2024 11:38

You either trust him to drive a car or you don’t, make your mind up. You are being absolutely ridiculous - coming from the parent of another new driver

DD drives my car too as she doesn’t have her own yet. Our car came with a pre installed tracker so if I really wanted to get could see her location via an app, I have never felt the need to do this though as I respect that she a responsible adult who is safe enough to be on the roads. She has her own set of keys and asks whenever she needs/wants to take it. If it was to suddenly go ‘missing’ all the time I’d just take her set of keys off her - what you’re describing is absolutely batshit OP and doesn’t exist.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 12/04/2024 11:39

If you need that level of control them he's not ready to drive.

😳

Pombearprincess · 12/04/2024 11:39

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 08:59

DS has just passed his test. As well as the minefield / expense of getting him insurance I was wondering if any providers have a parental control setting that will only allow him to be insured for journeys we have approved. Google not helping me out.

I don’t think what you want exists because it’s a very unusual request. A black box is great for new young drivers as it records everything and by default curbs any possible excesses of speed, late at night journeys etc, but would record all journeys so if you are sharing a car that could be a problem. It sounds like there is a lack of trust on your part and respect on theirs. Otherwise why don’t you just have a conversation and agree that you lending them your car comes with some responsibility and restrictions.

janefondofu · 12/04/2024 11:40

So your son is legally old enough and qualified to drive a car, and you are still restricting his journeys? I feel bad for him

Original poster

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 11:42

Pombearprincess · 12/04/2024 11:39

I don’t think what you want exists because it’s a very unusual request. A black box is great for new young drivers as it records everything and by default curbs any possible excesses of speed, late at night journeys etc, but would record all journeys so if you are sharing a car that could be a problem. It sounds like there is a lack of trust on your part and respect on theirs. Otherwise why don’t you just have a conversation and agree that you lending them your car comes with some responsibility and restrictions.

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Thanks. That seems to be true. I didn’t think it was that weird a thought.

OP posts:

Original poster

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 11:43

Never been at the hands of the ‘MN judgement before’. Blimey it’s brutal! Just as well I’ve got sound judgement and good mental health. Such a lot of key board warriors willing to pass judgement.

OP posts:

goldenretrievermum5 · 12/04/2024 11:50

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 11:43

Never been at the hands of the ‘MN judgement before’. Blimey it’s brutal! Just as well I’ve got sound judgement and good mental health. Such a lot of key board warriors willing to pass judgement.

OP, I’ve been on MN for years and genuinely your post is one of the craziest things I’ve ever read here. The judgement is heavily justified. Either he’s trusted to drive a car or he isn’t - which one is it? I

Shade17 · 12/04/2024 11:57

If you want to keep an eye on where he is just get a tracker fitted. The ones I use give me an alert every time the ignition is switched on/off and I can see the location at all times. Whenever DW’s out in one of the cars which has a tracker (her daily doesn’t) I joke with her that I can stalk her every move, but would be genuinely useful with a young driver out and about.

MrsAvocet · 12/04/2024 12:04

I don't think a black box is going to help as presumably it restricts the use of the car, not who is driving it, so you would also be subject to the limitations and not able to drive after 10pm etc?
Temporary insurance is expensive and I think there is a limit to how many times you can use it. By coincidence I was talking to a friend about this the other day. They use it when their DD is home from University as she doesn't have her own car and it is pointless insuring her for a full year on theirs when she is away for most of the time. But I am sure she said that they can't use it more than a certain amount of times in a year for the same person on the same vehicle or something like that.
You are going to have to negotiate some ground rules with your son I'm afraid. If you really want to use some kind of technology there are phone apps that monitor driving - speed, braking, cornering etc. Some insurance companies use this kind of thing and you get a discount if you are deemed to be a safer driver, or you can buy similar apps. Obviously you need to think about the potential effects on your relationship with your son of this kind of surveillance - that's for you to decide - but there is technology available that might give you some elements of what you are after.

Seeline · 12/04/2024 12:12

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 11:43

Never been at the hands of the ‘MN judgement before’. Blimey it’s brutal! Just as well I’ve got sound judgement and good mental health. Such a lot of key board warriors willing to pass judgement.

I don't think it's judgement. I think people genuinely don't understand why you are asking the question. I can't imagine a situation where your question would be relevant. So people are trying to answer a question that you may not actually be asking.

In basic terms, if a young person has passed their test and has access to a parent's car, they are either permanently insured and have permanent access, or as is more usual have to ask if they can borrow the car on Thursday, or they have temporary insurance for a specific time or occasion. They still have to ask permission to borrow the car. It is the parent's perogative to refuse permission.

Original poster

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 12:16

Seeline · 12/04/2024 12:12

I don't think it's judgement. I think people genuinely don't understand why you are asking the question. I can't imagine a situation where your question would be relevant. So people are trying to answer a question that you may not actually be asking.

In basic terms, if a young person has passed their test and has access to a parent's car, they are either permanently insured and have permanent access, or as is more usual have to ask if they can borrow the car on Thursday, or they have temporary insurance for a specific time or occasion. They still have to ask permission to borrow the car. It is the parent's perogative to refuse permission.

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And that was my point -

DS - can I drive the car on Thursday.
ME - yes. Press app. Get insurance.
DS - drives.

OP posts:

jannier · 12/04/2024 12:27

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 12:16

And that was my point -

DS - can I drive the car on Thursday.
ME - yes. Press app. Get insurance.
DS - drives.

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But that doesn't control where he goes so how does it meet your request?
Would he drive somewhere other than your approved destination? Would he stay out longer and be uninsured?
You obviously fear something drinking, drugs, racing, meets, seeing someone you don't approve of etc. But sooner or later he will be able to make his own choices.
Your post makes you sound like you have something unreasonable to hide to be honest.

Nicknacky · 12/04/2024 12:43

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 12:16

And that was my point -

DS - can I drive the car on Thursday.
ME - yes. Press app. Get insurance.
DS - drives.

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But that’s different to your original post and sounds like a pain in the arse to do every time he wants to borrow the car. And surely it will cost a fortune or everyone would do that?

Original poster

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 13:06

jannier · 12/04/2024 12:27

But that doesn't control where he goes so how does it meet your request?
Would he drive somewhere other than your approved destination? Would he stay out longer and be uninsured?
You obviously fear something drinking, drugs, racing, meets, seeing someone you don't approve of etc. But sooner or later he will be able to make his own choices.
Your post makes you sound like you have something unreasonable to hide to be honest.

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I have never said I want to control where he goes. Can assure you not unhinged but judge away!

OP posts:

Seeline · 12/04/2024 13:12

Pantsnomore · 12/04/2024 13:06

I have never said I want to control where he goes. Can assure you not unhinged but judge away!

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a parental control setting that will only allow him to be insured for journeys we have approved.

This is what you asked though!

What you actually mean is is it ok if you say your DS can't borrow the car. Or is it possible to insure your DS on your car for individual journeys - which people have suggested Veygo for.

Balloonhearts · 12/04/2024 13:21

OP that's nuts, it's going to cost you a fortune. Why not just insure him and if its not an approved trip just don't give him the keys. I think you're making this harder for yourself than it has to be.

An app doesn't exist because children don't drive. If this were a thing it would be used almost exclusively by controlling partners. At 17 he is a young adult and we have to start trusting their judgement at some point. In a years time he won't need your permission for anything so surely now is a good time to start loosening the reins?