What life skills/pearls of wisdom have you passed onto your children?

[MummySam2017]

I’m very curious about this. What life skills or pearls of wisdom have you passed onto your children? Or even something that has been passed onto you.

I was taught how to cook and swim very early on. My Nan passed on so much of her knowledge to me, lessons that are still with me to this day. Even though she’s no longer with me, I feel like she is.

I’d love to hear some more if you’d like to share?

My mum who died recently aged 92 taught me how to wallpaper at a young age.
This week I've papered our shower room and conservatory. It's such a useful skill to have and saves a fortune.
I hope I've passed on some useful skills to my dc. My youngest dd is a great baker which I taught her.
Eldest dd is now mother to a very feisty teenager and spends a lot of time asking for advice because she was a complete pain in the arse as a child as well 😀

I taught my grown up children to always pay attention when someone shows you who they really are. I also taught them that if their partner truly likes/loves them then they will just know it, but if their partner is insincere they will just feel confused and stressed. And lastly, that life is already hard enough, so your relationship shouldn't ever feel like hard work.

How to save money and manage your income. This was a big thing that dps taught me.

The importance of being active. We were always out and about when dcs were kids but as teenagers, sometimes it's an effort but they can see themselves how it impacts on their wellbeing.

All the skills so she never 'needs' a man. Car maintenance, DIY etc.

Unfortunately her dad is so great that she said, "I'll need a husband for the cleaning". 🤦‍♀️

My uncle told 15 year old me “ don’t commit to anyone as a life partner who you wouldn’t have as a business partner”. At the time I thought he was hopelessly unromantic but now I think he was 💯 right and I’ll be passing that gem on.

Some folk are horrible

LaPalmaLlama - never heard that before, but it's great advice.

Oh gosh hopefully many.

1. I'm trying to get investment advice into them. How to manage money, budget, invest in stocks and shares and don't panic when the market is down.

2. always save don't put it on the credit card.

3. always keep some money back for pure fun however!! Don't be joyless and parsimonious.

4. have a quirky fun life that's not institutionalised and rigid. Just because other people think something in mass doesn't mean it's necessarily right at all.
   5)challenge and question, please don't be drawn into anything without fhe, who what why when, whatever are they gaining form this etc.

5. be independent of course as girls and I'm very pleased they are already hot on feminism etc.

7)enjoy culture, music, film, books, travel and everything that makes like fun.

8. still working on this but it's OK to defend yourself... Stand up for yourself. Many more...

Oh and red flags for narcs

Lots of lovely ones from my darling grandad, who was an absolute charmer and a very, very savvy businessman.

Some of my favourites:

"You don't have to attend every party you're invited to" – in relation to people trying to pick fights or get a rise out of you.

"Connection before correction" – in relation to my youthful desire to show people the error of their ways. He taught me that unless you take time to connect with someone and make them feel seen and heard and safe before moving onto what you have to share, they won't take any of your 'helpful advice' as anything other than criticism.

"As soon as you get what you want, leave" – in relation to negotiations and business deals. Don't stay for chit-chat or a celebratory drink – you'll just open the door to further bargaining, or a disagreement that loses you what you just worked so hard to get.

Not sure it's a life skill, necessarily, but he also taught me how to play poker and blackjack pretty damn well – I'll never forget him saying "with a face like yours you'll be able to walk into any casino in the world and make all the gentlemen rue the day they underestimated a lady"

"Connection before correction" – in relation to my youthful desire to show people the error of their ways. He taught me that unless you take time to connect with someone and make them feel seen and heard and safe before moving onto what you have to share, they won't take any of your 'helpful advice' as anything other than criticism.

This is so beautifully put and absolutely true.

I’m really enjoying these. Thank you for sharing all x

People treat you how you allow them to.

Don't be financially dependent on anyone.

It's better to regret taking a chance than regret not trying.

My tips to my now adult kids, who haven’t turned out bad.

Manners are important.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

You can’t have peaks without troughs.

Don’t do shots, they fuck you up.

I'm trying to teach my kids that their bodies are theirs they don't have to hug, kiss anyone even me and their dad.

I'm teaching them that they don't have to be perfect. Being a perfectionist has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety.

I'm teaching them that they don't need to compare themselves to others. I'm often saying that they are in a competition with themselves not anyone else.

I'm teaching them they are enough as they are.

I'm teaching them how to read early. My eldest (5) doesn't remember learning. The almost 4 year old is getting there. I struggled with reading and it had a huge impact on being able to access education and my attainment.

I'm showing them about natural remedies.

Not yet because they are only little but make choices based on inspiration and not desperation.

Taught DS1 how to decorate properly - sugar soap, sanding, undercoats - the lot. He's an adult now with his own flat and it saved him a fortune when it was in dire need of complete redecoration.

Cooking - both DC can cook food I really want to eat!

Self-care - physical, mental, financial, social

Critical thinking

Swimming, cycling

Basic housekeeping & laundry

How to be civil to waiters, shop assistants, delivery people etc.

Oh and all emotions are valid. They grew up, especially in primary school, during that toxic positivity era when children were encouraged to be smiley all the time and to only write, say and think shiny thoughts.

I had to explain to DS2 that it's fine to be angry, sad, disappointed, envious, scared, nervous, lonely, bored etc as long as those feelings are in proportion to the situation and you know how to take steps to process them and move on to more enjoyable emotions.

Basic finances
Simple sewing skills - buttons, stitching
Trying to soeak a few words of local language whenever when overseas - hello/please/thank you.

You can't take more from life than you put in.

Smile and be nice - manners

Get to know people before you trust them.

The micawber principle

Buy cheap, buy twice

The harder you work, the luckier you get

Punctuality

And then:
Cooking
Cleanliness
Personal presentation
Trees, flowers, animals, clouds, weather
Driving
Independence
Giving and receiving love
Generosity
Stick to your principles
Basic grammar and syntax

Lots of swear words
Basic cooking skills - they both cook well now and it's lovely having them cook for me
Manners from day one - I always got compliments on how polite they were
Put into your pension as soon as you start earning - you won't notice it and it will build up
Appreciate good music from all eras and genres.

I always said to my daughter that she should be straightforward and take people at face value. If people want to play games then let them, but you don't have to play along.

I have taught my boy three things, the sun, the moon, the truth will always come out. My work is done.

Social skills. My mother taught us we eye rolled at the time but how right she was - and we have taught ours. Just eases your way through life. 3 different families invited dd on their summer holiday last year as a companion for their teen.

The one my granny said to me was "you can only do your best". I found it really comforting when working for exams that I got stressed about. I will work as hard as I can revise as much as I can - the rest is out of my hands if Im not clever enough nothing more I can do.

Never throw away the only tissue from a pocket no matter how manky. It'll always be better than nothing

@TheaBrandt "you can only do your best".

This reminds me of my Nan. She was religious, I’m not, but I always felt comforted when she’d say “just try your best and God will do the rest”.