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Autistic DD finding safe friendly internet spaces

12 replies

Bigwelshlamb · 11/04/2024 12:44

My DD is 20 and a sweetie, very young for her age and very low maintenance, sometimes too low. We used to volunteer but there were a lot of politics in the shop and it was a minefield. We will go back soon or maybe look for somewhere different but I have to facilitate this and I am really busy at the moment. As a result, she's sort of folded into herself and is spending a lot of time alone and talking to an AI chat thing. Her sister checked and it's all very PG, like a role playing thing where you talk to film characters. She's lonely but finds the adult neurotypical world very taxing and is really unsophisticated. She identifies as a romantic asexual person who prefers girls (thank you Heartstopper for letting her know that option was available, she thought she was 'broken' for not wanting to have sex but wanting a companion) but when we had a look at autistic dating and friend finding it was a minefield. Can you help me find a friend for her? Some space on the internet or group that she could find a kindred spirit? There are so many of you here so some of you must have a similar young person in your life that has found a way through. So I commend my wish to the hive mind and thank you in advance for ay help of advice you can offer because my heart is breaking for her.

OP posts:
Bigwelshlamb · 11/04/2024 14:22

Bumping

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 11/04/2024 15:29

Does she have tumblr? It's a bit dated now but there is a thriving young ace community there.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 11/04/2024 15:40

Love on the spectrum, it's a Facebook group, they are really nice people they have a group chat set up as well.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 11/04/2024 15:41

(Not just dating either, it's mainly a friendship group.)

Dandelionsordaffodils · 11/04/2024 15:56

Following for the suggestions as I have 2 autistic teens 18 and 16. My youngest doesn't have any friends but would love to have some especially if they shared her special interests.

Hope your daughter finds a friend. I know how hard it is. What is she interested in? Maybe someone reading this will have a daughter with similar interests. Also there's the Autistic Girls group on Facebook and I've seen people posting on there wanting to connect with others.

AmaryllisChorus · 11/04/2024 16:01

OP, my autistic son started dating at around this age. He went on the usual dating sites - Tinder and Hinge but stated that he was looking for neurodiverse, non-binary etc. She could try that - say she is looking for a neurodiverse asexual romantic woman. Then list her interests and see what happens. DS always chatted for a couple of weeks first to see if they could get on easily then met for a coffee and took it from there. He's now had a few relationships from between six months to almost a year (latest one).

AmaryllisChorus · 11/04/2024 16:02

Also, to find friends, he just went on geek interest chat rooms that specialised in his main interests and has, from them, made some good friends irl that even led to his first permanent job which he loves.

Bigwelshlamb · 11/04/2024 20:19

Thank you all so much, anyone who finds themselves here knows that trying to balance your child's freedom whilst ensuring their safety at this age is really tricky. I want her to have a full life and I've really not got a clue what I am doing. I fought so long for education for her ( after 5 years home ed) and now there's nothing. Added to this being a girl she's atypical if there is such a thing. I suppose her special interest is Dr Who but she's not terribly focussed on particular things; it would likely be easier if she were. I want her to feel whole, to feel part of things and hopefully these pointers from you all will glean results. She's a darling and no trouble but I feel like life is passing her by as her siblings all develop and move forward with their lives. Thanks, I really appreciate you taking the time to reply so thoughtfully.

OP posts:
Bigwelshlamb · 15/04/2024 20:17

Bumping this again for any other suggestions.

OP posts:
Bigwelshlamb · 15/04/2024 23:10

BlurpBlorp · 15/04/2024 20:23

Hi OP, the charity I work for runs a really incredible online network for autistic young people. They have online peer sessions, groups etc. Loads to get involved with if that's her bag https://www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk/what-we-do/connecting-young-people/online-youth-network

Thank you so much, there's so much to get involved with. I will pass this on to her tomorrow 🙂

OP posts:
Objectrelations · 16/04/2024 00:09

Also following for my 17 year old son.

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