Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Really concerned about my grandma with Leukaemia

37 replies

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 11/04/2024 01:21

My 85yo grandma has it, she found out last summer. I can't remember exactly what type it is that she has but apparently it's not the bad kind that'll kill you, it's the kind of thing she'll die with and not from. And it's more common in old people too. She said they won't treat it until her symptoms get worse, which I believe they are doing but she won't see it. She knows her symptoms are from the illness but she doesn't see that she's getting worse iykwim?

She sleeps ALL the time, I do her shopping and take her to the library and to coffee with her friends every week. A lot of times when I walk in the house, she's asleep at the dining table just sitting up in the chair. She sleeps the evening away in front of the TV and wakes up to go to bed around 1am, then sleeps until lunchtime. Throughout the day she'll just drop off sitting at the table or in the armchair.

She has a gas fire in the front room and I've had to go down to her house more than once recently to pick her up off the floor because she fell asleep when she was sitting on the footstool while lighting the fire (don't even get me started on how dangerous THAT is! I've lectured her several times about this) and slipped off.

She barely eats and is dropping weight at a scary rate, she buys her meals from Wiltshire Farm Foods and she gets the small meals which I think are half portions and absolutely tiny. Most nights she throws half away because it's too much.

She gets bouts of diarrhea almost every week that last a day or two at a time. She's always complaining of random muscle type pain that's come from nowhere (ie, when she hasn't slipped off the stool again), and she gets very breathless walking any distance that's longer than from her house to my car (and I park right outside her front door).

I'm not the only one that's worried either, I had Grandmas friend phone me on Tuesday to tell me she's worried. This friend was a nurse for 30 years and she can tell when a person is very unwell. She's been friends with my grandma for some years now so she knows her really well, they get together every Saturday afternoon and she says she can tell there's something not right with her at all. On Monday afternoon grandma phoned me at around 2pm and she sounded so confused and disoriented, she asked if I'd phoned her and told me she'd only woken up 20 minutes ago.

I don't know what we can do to get grandma to the doctor, if we did get her to go she'd probably downplay it all, she 'doesn't like to make a fuss' 🤦🏼‍♀️

What the hell do we do?!

OP posts:
AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 27/04/2024 21:55

TraitorsGate · 27/04/2024 21:34

Sorry to hear she's so poorly. With the lpa and will the solicitor won't change anything if she is confused with poor short term memory.

Ah I hope they'll do it for her. She really wants to make a change to her will 😕 The confusion is stuff like getting her days mixed up. For example when I saw her yesterday she thought it was Saturday. The memory stuff will be asking me to get a list of stuff from the shop and not quite remembering something she asked for. For example, she'll ask for chocolate coated peanuts and then forget she asked for them "Did I ask for those? <thinks> Oh yes that's right, I did." She's still very sharp otherwise and knows what's what.

OP posts:
Booksandflowers · 27/04/2024 22:09

Same sort of memory stuff as us. Days of the week, the odd word in a sentance etc

TraitorsGate · 28/04/2024 10:26

The so,icitor should check and be confident she has the capacity to make a codicil willingly,

TraitorsGate · 28/04/2024 10:33

The solicitor also needs to check the lpa, if it was joint and both attorneys had to make decisions jointly it will be invalid now. It sounds very difficult for you all and I Hooe she feels better soon and gets the help she needs

Booksandflowers · 14/05/2024 20:38

How is your grandmother OP?

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 16/05/2024 18:34

Booksandflowers · 14/05/2024 20:38

How is your grandmother OP?

She’s been in hospital for two and a half weeks now, she has some sort of infection somewhere that they can’t locate and it’s sending her doolally. She doesn’t always know where she is or why, she’s extremely confused about pretty much everything. She phoned me yesterday very concerned about what she would do on Saturday when the hospital closed for the weekend, she’s fallen in the bathroom after she tried sitting on the sink because she thought it was a seat and she tried to tell me they’d left her out in the corridor all night as there wasn’t a bed (there was, I accompanied her when they moved her to a different ward and she had her own room!). So yeah, that’s how it’s going. Not great.

OP posts:
Allthehorsesintheworld · 16/05/2024 18:46

A urine infection maybe? That play havoc with elderly people’s minds.
I’m sorry to hear your grandmother is so unwell. 💐

Booksandflowers · 16/05/2024 19:02

Oh dear. I’m so sorry but I can relate to nearly all of that! I hope they are able to get rid of the infection for her. In our case they couldn’t 😢

Jacopo · 16/05/2024 19:12

I can’t comment on symptoms etc as I have limited medical knowledge, but I wanted to say what a dear granddaughter you are, - you clearly care for her very much and she is lucky to have you there fighting her corner. It sounds like she is getting very frail, so there may not be a good outcome to this, but you are doing a great job of advocating for her.

Booksandflowers · 03/07/2024 13:15

How are things ?@AintNobodyHereButUsChickens

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 03/07/2024 13:25

Booksandflowers · 03/07/2024 13:15

How are things ?@AintNobodyHereButUsChickens

Thanks for checking in, appreciate that. She’s still in hospital, they did an MRI and found that she’d had a stroke. No-one knows when it happened. The doctors say this confusion is her new normal and it can be diagnosed as Vascular Dementia if it lasts for 6+ months 😞

Medically, she is fit to leave hospital but she can’t really go home so we’re now researching care homes. Never thought it would end up like this when she first went in 😞

OP posts:
Booksandflowers · 03/07/2024 13:29

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 03/07/2024 13:25

Thanks for checking in, appreciate that. She’s still in hospital, they did an MRI and found that she’d had a stroke. No-one knows when it happened. The doctors say this confusion is her new normal and it can be diagnosed as Vascular Dementia if it lasts for 6+ months 😞

Medically, she is fit to leave hospital but she can’t really go home so we’re now researching care homes. Never thought it would end up like this when she first went in 😞

Oh im so sorry. I hope things get better for her (and you) very soon. Hopefully when she’s in a care home you can relax a bit more knowing she is being cared for.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread