The offer to scouts: come and work with pupils whose behavioural standards are falling, one fifth of whom are persistent absentees, many of whom are hungry because of food poverty, and many of whom are sleep deprived because they live in poor quality housing. Expect to have to deal with nappy changes if you opt for primary and to teach a subject not your specialism if you opt for secondary. Pupils will almost certainly shout at you and so will some parents. You may be assaulted too, by pupils and maybe by parents. Some of your pupils may need mental health support and some families support from a social worker. Expect to wait months if not years for both. While you're waiting, collaborate with your colleagues to fill in the gaps and watch your skill set grow (no badges though).
As you dash from role to role being an unsung, probably underpaid hero - teacher, head of key stage, head of year, SEN co-ordinator, safeguarding lead, nurse, childminder, social worker, counsellor, surrogate parent, companion, buddy, mentor, mobile phone confiscator, resolver of disputes, breaker-up of fights, record-keeper, IT support worker, governor escort - you will feel something approaching love for some, perhaps many, but probably not all the pupils in your school.
At the end of each c.7.30am to c.6pm term-time day, your home will beckon, not least because there, you are unlikely to have to confront the risk of chunks of crumbling ceilings falling on your head.
Ah, home! There, a new round of tasks awaits: marking, planning, assessing, data entry, report writing, drafting of papers for governors' meetings, Ofsted inspection preparation, emails to colleagues, phone-calls to parents.
Ah, long school holidays! More of the same.
No need to worry. The Department for Education says the data show that academic standards are rising, a programme of building works is underway to restore the school estate and more money is going to schools than ever before.